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DVS Offerings

Thursday, Feb 23
12 AM

The Club

The Detour

Robin's ex Carlos lures her back into their wild past with a visit to the club where they used to party. Meanwhile, the kids meet Nate's new boss, and Nate gets a teeny bit jealous when he sees Robin with Carlos.

TV-MA

12:30 AM

November 14, 2016

Conan

Guests: Lin-Manuel Miranda, John Early, The Head and the Heart

TV-14

1:30 AM

The Statue

Seinfeld

Jerry thinks a friend stole his statue, but doesn't know how to get it back.

TV-PG

2 AM

The Expendables 2

Mr. Church reunites the Expendables and enlists them to take on a seemingly simple job. The task looks like an easy paycheck, but when things go wrong and one of their own is viciously killed, the Expendables are compelled to seek revenge in hostile territory with the odds stacked against them.

TV-14

4 AM

Menzies

New Girl

As Jess' job search kicks into high gear, the guys fear her time of the month is also affecting their physical and psychological well-being. Meanwhile, Schmidt begins a 50 Shades of Grey type of relationship with his corporate boss, and Nick gains wisdom from an unlikely, hands-on and mute source.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Parents

New Girl

Jess invites her divorced Mom and Dad over for Thanksgiving dinner and enlists Nick and Cece to help her with a Parent Trap to reunite them. Meanwhile, Schmidt's cousin, Big Schmidt, visits. Winston manipulates them into an escalating battle to prove their manhood.

TV-14

5 AM

Poppy's By the Tree (1)

Married with Children

The Bundys are at a hotel in Florida, only to find that an ax murderer lives there.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Poppy's By the Tree (2)

Married with Children

Peg gets kidnapped! Can Al get her back

TV-PG

6 AM

If I Were a Rich Man

Married with Children

Al and Steve find out about 1 million dollars missing from the bank and the other Bundys think they have it.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Married with Children

The phone line to the Bundys get cut off after Al refuses to pay the bill.

TV-PG

7 AM

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (1)

Married with Children

Marcy and Peggy go to a strip club, but Marcy ends up losing her ring in a very uncomfortable space...

TV-PG

7:30 AM

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (2)

Married with Children

The men take action over Peg and Marcy, just to make them feel bad about what happened.

TV-PG

8 AM

Born to Walk

Married with Children

Al needs to renew his license, but fails the test. Kelly, on the other hand, gets her license on the same day.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

Alley of the Dolls

Married with Children

When Peggy's old high school rival challenges her to a family bowl-off, Peggy is determined to win - with the help of an "adopted" Bundy, ringer Steve Rhoades.

TV-PG

9 AM

Tank Heaven

The King of Queens

Doug deliberately offends Carrie's co-workers by showing them his chest hair.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

Alter Ego

The King of Queens

Doug, Deacon, Danny and Spence take an impulsive trip to Memphis to try and stop the wedding of Spence's ex-girlfriend (Rachel Dratch).

TV-PG

10 AM

Icky Shuffle

The King of Queens

When Carrie comes down with a cold, Arthur must find a new teammate for the senior center's shuffleboard tournament.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

Awful Bigamy

The King of Queens

When Holly is kicked out of her apartment, Arthur insists she stay with him until she can find someplace new to live.

TV-PG

11 AM

The Hangover: Part Tubbs

The Cleveland Show

Donna campaigns to be elected to the school board; Cleveland accidentally "kills" an opponent while playing "the Hurt Locker game;" Junior realizes he's an excellent driver.

TV-14

11:30 AM

California Dreamin' (All the Cleves are Brown)

The Cleveland Show

The Browns relocate to Los Angeles so Cleveland can pursue his fantasy of becoming a major league baseball scout; Donna and the kids are seduced by the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle.

TV-14

12 PM

Pilot

American Dad

Steve runs for school president to pick up girls (Stan rigs the election, CIA-style) and Hayley pays Roger in candy to write her school papers.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Threat Levels

American Dad

After a near-death scare involving a CIA bio-toxin, Francine decides to start a job as a realtor...making more money than Stan. Also, bumfighting!

TV-14

1 PM

Stan Knows Best

American Dad

When Stan's military discipline becomes too strict for the liberal Hayley, she runs off with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Steve claims Roger as his burn-scarred sister in a valiant effort to get some boob.

TV-14

1:30 PM

Francine's Flashback

American Dad

After a forgotten anniversary leads Stan to submit Francine for memory erasure at the CIA, she reverts twenty years back instead of twenty minutes, becoming once again the wild child she used to be.

TV-14

2 PM

Mind Over Murder (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter is under house arrest after punching a pregnant woman he thought was a man.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

A Hero Sits Next Door (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter, jealous of the new neighbors, foils a bank robbery for attention.

TV-PG

3 PM

The City

The Detour

Nate is offered a new job in New York City, so the family moves from Syracuse to the Big Apple. Robin isn't thrilled about the idea. And of course, getting there will be way harder than it should be.

TV-MA

3:30 PM

The Club

The Detour

Robin's ex Carlos lures her back into their wild past with a visit to the club where they used to party. Meanwhile, the kids meet Nate's new boss, and Nate gets a teeny bit jealous when he sees Robin with Carlos.

TV-MA

4 PM

The One Without The Ski Trip (SAP)

Friends

Ross and Rachel remain apart while their friends feel forced to choose between them.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The One With The Hypnosis Tape (SAP)

Friends

Phoebe is distraught when her brother wants to marry a woman twice his age. While working as a waitress, Monica gets a tip from an admirer worth a small fortune. A hypnosis tape makes Chandler act like a woman.

TV-PG

5 PM

The One With The Tiny T-Shirt (SAP)

Friends

Ross is upset when Rachel returns his personal belongings and dates Mark. Monica dates a millionaire.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

The One With The Dollhouse (SAP)

Friends

Joey thinks he's found his true love. Rachel's boss dates Chandler, creating big trouble for Rachel. Monica inherits a dollhouse.

TV-14

6 PM

The Heart Attack

Seinfeld

George thinks he's having a heart attack.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

The Revenge

Seinfeld

George seeks revenge on his ex-boss for not rehiring him.

TV-PG

7 PM

The Deal

Seinfeld

Jerry and Elaine mull intimacy but without commitment.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

And the Not Broke Parents (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When the pastry school closes Deke has an idea of purchasing it, so he invites Caroline and Max to meet his parents, Max is tongue-tied until his mother confides in her about her secret past.

TV-14

8 PM

And the Wedding Cake Cake Cake (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline agree to make a wedding cake for a bride, who can't decide on what style of cake she wants or much of anything else.

TV-14

8:30 PM

And the New Lease on Life (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline are forced to find the original tenant of their apartment when the lease expires and convince him to re-sign or else they will face eviction.

TV-14

9 PM

The 21-Second Excitation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

The guys camp out in line to see a print of Raiders of the Lost Ark with :21 extra seconds and are outraged to see Wil Wheaton and his friends being allowed to skip the line. Penny and Bernadette invite Amy to their girls night.

TV-14

9:30 PM

The Boyfriend Complexity (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Penny asks Leonard to lie to her visiting father (Keith Carradine), while Howard, Raj & Bernadette spend all night looking through a telescope.

TV-14

10 PM

The Alien Parasite Hypothesis (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Amy crushes on one of Penny's dim ex-boyfriends, Zack. Raj and Wolowitz argue over who'd be the better superhero.

TV-14

10:30 PM

The Justice League Recombination (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

The guys get Zack and Penny to join their Justice League costume for a New Year's Eve bash at the comic book store.

TV-14

11 PM

November 17, 2016

Conan

Guests: Adam Sandler, David Spade, Nick Swardson, Norm Macdonald, Rob Schneider, Clipping

TV-14

Friday, Feb 24
12 AM

And the Free Money (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline's love for horse racing gets out of hand when she and Max go to a racetrack as guests of Sophie's new bookie boyfriend.

TV-14

12:30 AM

November 17, 2016

Conan

Guests: Adam Sandler, David Spade, Nick Swardson, Norm Macdonald, Rob Schneider, Clipping

TV-14

1:30 AM

The Chaperone

Seinfeld

Kramer chaperons Jerry's date with a beauty contestant; guest Ian Abercrombie.

TV-PG

2 AM

Gone in Sixty Seconds

A retired master car thief must come back to the industry and steal 50 cars with his crew in one night to save his brother's life.

TV-14

4:30 AM

The Razor's Edge

Married with Children

When Steve returns from a river rafting trip, Marcy refuses to let him back into the house until he shaves his newly-grown beard, and he's forced to seek refuge with the Bundys.

TV-PG

5 AM

How Do You Spell Revenge?

Married with Children

Al is too busy scheming to get Peggy thrown off their neighbor-hood baseball team to notice that Kelly is about to be tattooed with the name of her latest boyfriend.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Earth Angel

Married with Children

When Bud brings a beautiful, homeless young woman to stay with the Bundys, Al and the rest of the neighborhood guys begin acting like sex-crazed teenagers.

TV-PG

6 AM

You Better Watch Out

Married with Children

This Christmas episode tells about Santa Claus, who is late showing up at the mall. His parachute doesn't open up and he falls off his sleigh and onto the Bundy property...dead.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

Guys and Dolls

Married with Children

When Al and Steve become obsessed with collecting baseball cards, Peggy and Marcy dig out their old Barbie dolls and re-live their childhood fantasies.

TV-PG

7 AM

Build a Better Mousetrap

Married with Children

Al and Steve stare danger in the face when they decide to exterminate a pesky field mouse without the aid of professional help.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

Master the Possibilities

Married with Children

When Buck, the Bundy family pooch, mistakenly receives a credit card in his name, Al and Peg decide to sample "the good life" and embark on a wild spending spree.

TV-PG

8 AM

Peggy Loves Al, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

Married with Children

All Peggy wants for Valentine's Day is to hear unromantic Al utter those three little words - I love you.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

The Great Escape

Married with Children

When the Bundy family spends the night in Al's shoe store while their house is being exterminated, Kelly is forced to be especially creative in slipping out for the night.

TV-PG

9 AM

Impo-Dent

Married with Children

When Marcy accidentally dents Steve's brand new Mercedes, she finds it affects more than just his performance on the road.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

Just Married. . .with Children

Married with Children

Peggy and Al masquerade as their newlywed neighbors, Steve and Marcy Rhoades, on the game show "How Do I Love Thee" - with shocking results.

TV-PG

10 AM

Window Pain

The King of Queens

Carrie becomes obsessed with trying to impress the neighbors.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

Arthur, Spooner

The King of Queens

Team leader Carrie grows frustrated with her drab work group; Doug begins relying on Arthur's company in order to fall asleep.

TV-PG

11 AM

Kirbed Enthusiasm

The King of Queens

Doug agrees to try out for a semiprofessional football league if Kirby will stay with peewee football.

TV-PG

11:30 AM

Holy Mackerel

The King of Queens

When Carrie prays for a raise and actually gets one, she and Doug start praying for more things.

TV-PG

12 PM

The Fist and the Furious

The Cleveland Show

Cleveland attempts to improve Dr. Fist's social life, only to discover he used to work for the mob; Rallo and Junior discover a business opportunity in the form of a food truck.

TV-14

12:30 PM

Who Done Did It?

The Cleveland Show

Cleveland seeks revenge against people who've wronged him and his family...until he's accused of a murder he didn't commit.

TV-14

1 PM

Rodger Codger (DVS)

American Dad

Roger runs away after he and Stan have an argument. Once the CIA finds out, they organize a search team in order to find him and bring him in for questioning. So now Stan must either kill Roger or choose friendship over his career.

TV-14

1:30 PM

Homeland Insecurity

American Dad

When a new set of Iranian neighbors sends Stan off in a whirl of suspicion that leads to the destruction of Francine's block party, he must find a way to conquer the foreign threat and make it up to her at the same time.

TV-14

2 PM

Deacon Stan, Jesus Man

American Dad

Stan goes to great lengths to compete against his rival, Chuck White, and become the new deacon of their church. Meanwhile, Steve is falling in love with Chuck's daughter, Betsy.

TV-14

2:30 PM

Bullocks to Stan

American Dad

Hayley dumps Jeff and dates Bullock. Stan withholds his objections in order to get a promotion.

TV-14

3 PM

Eggs

New Girl

When Jess learns that a friend is pregnant, both she and Cece panic that time is running out for them to have children. Meanwhile, Schmidt seeks advice on how to please Emma. Nick and Winston visit the zoo to find inspiration for Nick's zombie-themed novel.

TV-14

3:30 PM

Bathtub

New Girl

Tired of taking showers, Jess and Winston scheme to get a bathtub installed in the loft. Then at the bar, Nick meets a tough and beautiful customer with boyfriend troubles. Meanwhile, Schmidt is torn between his boss and trying to win back Cece.

TV-14

4 PM

The One With The Chick And The Duck (SAP)

Friends

When Pete buys a restaurant, Monica must make a difficult decision. Ross makes a sacrifice for Rachel. Joey buys Chandler an unusual pet.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The One With The Screamer (SAP)

Friends

Ross tries to convince Rachel that her date is psychotic. Joey's play gets terrible reviews.

TV-PG

5 PM

The One With Ross's Thing (SAP)

Friends

Ross finds a strange growth on his buttocks. Phoebe can't choose between two guys. Monica's boyfriend surprises her.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champion (SAP)

Friends

Monica's boyfriend cannot stop fighting. Chandler's boss is overly friendly. BILLY CRYSTAL and ROBIN WILLIAMS guest star. Referee JOHN McCARTHY and announcer BRUCE BUFFER guest star as themselves.

TV-PG

6 PM

The Big Salad

Seinfeld

Kramer helps an athlete wanted for a brutal crime flee police; guest Michelle Forbes.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

The Pledge Drive

Seinfeld

Jerry cashes old birthday checks from his grandmother.

TV-PG

7 PM

The Chinese Woman

Seinfeld

George's crossed phone lines acquaint the gang with a woman who isn't what she seems.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

The Couch

Seinfeld

Elaine dates the guy who delivered Jerry's new couch.

TV-PG

8 PM

Tammy (DVS)

When Tammy wrecks her car, loses her job and finds her husband with their neighbor, it's time for her to hit the road. Without money or a car, her only choice is a road trip with her grandmother Pearl. A trip to Niagara Falls is not the escape Tammy had in mind, but it may be what she needs.

TV-14

10 PM

The Bounty Hunter (DVS)

A down-on-his-luck bounty hunter, gets his dream job when he is assigned to track down his bail-jumping ex-wife. He thinks all that's ahead is an easy payday but then realizes that nothing ever goes simply with he and his ex.

TV-14

Saturday, Feb 25
12:15 AM

The City

The Detour

Nate is offered a new job in New York City, so the family moves from Syracuse to the Big Apple. Robin isn't thrilled about the idea. And of course, getting there will be way harder than it should be.

TV-MA

12:45 AM

The Club

The Detour

Robin's ex Carlos lures her back into their wild past with a visit to the club where they used to party. Meanwhile, the kids meet Nate's new boss, and Nate gets a teeny bit jealous when he sees Robin with Carlos.

TV-MA

1:16 AM

Tower Heist (DVS)

Josh Kovaks manages one of the most luxurious and well-secured residences in New York City. In the swankiest unit, Wall Street titan Arthur Shaw is under house arrest after stealing $2 billion from investors, including the tower staffers whose pensions he managed. With days before Arthur gets away with the perfect crime, Josh's crew turns to petty crook Slide to steal what they are sure is hidden in Arthur's guarded condo.

TV-14

3:30 AM

Norbit

Norbit never has had it easy. As a baby, he was abandoned on the steps of a Chinese restaurant/orphanage and raised by Mr. Wong. Things get worse when he's forced into marriage by Rasputia. Just when Norbit's hanging by his last thread, his childhood sweetheart, Kate, moves back to town.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Crazy Chin (SAP)

Everybody Loves Raymond

Amy's parents put Robert on the defensive when they point out his strange habit of touching food to his chin before he eats it. When Amy confides in Debra, who tells her that Robert's strange behavior could be psychological, she devises a plan to break him of his chin habit for good.

TV-PG

6 AM

The Nice Talk (SAP)

Everybody Loves Raymond

When the MacDougalls are invited to spend Easter with the Barones, the families attempt to bond over a 500-piece puzzle. While members of the Barone and MacDougall families get frustrated with the complicated puzzle, Ray and Pat continue working on it until the wee hours of the night while sharing private stories about themselves and their families. But when Debra, Marie, Robert and Peter find out about Ray and Pat's newfound friendship, jealousy ensues.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

Blabbermouths (SAP)

Everybody Loves Raymond

When Robert informs Ray that Amy filled him in on some juicy gossip about him, Ray decides to get even with Debra by sharing some nasty secrets of his own.

TV-PG

7 AM

The Fix Up

Seinfeld

Jerry and Elaine play matchmaker for George.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

The Limo

Seinfeld

Jerry and George commandeer a limousine headed for a neo-Nazi rally.

TV-PG

8 AM

The Bounty Hunter (DVS)

A down-on-his-luck bounty hunter, gets his dream job when he is assigned to track down his bail-jumping ex-wife. He thinks all that's ahead is an easy payday but then realizes that nothing ever goes simply with he and his ex.

TV-14

10:15 AM

Something Borrowed

Rachel is a talented attorney, a loyal friend and unhappily single. After one drink too many, Rachel ends up with the guy she's had a crush on since law school, Dex, her best friend Darcy's fiancé. When Rachel and Darcy's friendship collides with true love, it leads to unexpected complications.

TV-14

12:45 PM

This Is Where I Leave You

When their father passes away, four siblings bruised and banged up by their respective adult lives are forced to return to their childhood home and live under the same roof together for a week, along with their over-sharing mother and others.

TV-14

3 PM

The One At The Beach (SAP)

Friends

The friends stay at a beach house. Phoebe meets someone who knows details about her family. Rachel expresses her jealousy of Ross' uninhibited girlfriend.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

The One With The Jellyfish (SAP)

Friends

Ross loves dating Rachel again but hates what he did to accomplish the reconciliation. Phoebe gets to know her mother.

TV-PG

4 PM

The One With The Cat (SAP)

Friends

Phoebe thinks her adoptive mother's spirit inhabits a stray cat. Joey's attempt to sell his entertainment center proves hazardous. DAN GAUTHIER guest stars.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The One With The Cuffs (SAP)

Friends

Monica tries to prove her mother wrong. Chandler gets into an embarrassing situation while dating Rachel's boss.

TV-14

5 PM

And the First Degree (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline helping Max earn her high-school diploma and reconnect with her estranged mother.

TV-14

5:30 PM

And the Reality Problem (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Season 4 begins with a TV producer approaching Max and Caroline about shooting an episode of a Kardashians reality show at their cupcake window. Kim Kardashian appears as herself.

TV-14

6 PM

And the DJ Face (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max is mortified when she learns the hot guy she's been spending time with is a deejay at a grocery store.

TV-14

6:30 PM

And the Childhood Not Included (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline accidentally loses one of Han's expensive fish while cleaning the tank, so Max considers selling a sentimental gift from her mother in order to replace the fish.

TV-14

7 PM

The Bus Pants Utilization (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Their friendship becomes strained when Sheldon tries to take over Leonard's creation of a smartphone application that solves differential equations.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

The Love Car Displacement (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Howard is jealous when Bernadette runs into her old boyfriend (Rick Fox) at a science event they're attending.

TV-14

8 PM

The Thespian Catalyst (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon wants acting lessons from Penny, hoping they will make him a better teacher.

TV-14

8:30 PM

The Benefactor Factor (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

After meeting at a fundraising gala, an aged, but wealthy, Caltech donor (Jessica Walter) makes Leonard ponder if he's willing to have sex with her to secure another donation.

TV-14

9 PM

The Cohabitation Formulation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Howard contemplates a serious decision in his relationship with Bernadette; and Leonard and Raj's sister start seeing each other again.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

The Toast Derivation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon is in a crisis when he realizes he's not the epicenter of the group, so he decides to find new friends.

TV-14

10 PM

The Prestidigitation Approximation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Leonard has a tough choice to make when Priya asks him to stop spending time with Penny, forcing him to choose between the two women; and Howard keeps pestering Sheldon with a magic trick.

TV-14

10:30 PM

The Zarnecki Incursion (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

The guys become sleuths to find out who hacked Sheldon's online-game account.

TV-14

11 PM

January 25, 2017

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

Full Frontal visits the nation's capital to see a live taping of America's finale.

TV-MA

11:30 PM

The City

The Detour

Nate is offered a new job in New York City, so the family moves from Syracuse to the Big Apple. Robin isn't thrilled about the idea. And of course, getting there will be way harder than it should be.

TV-MA

Sunday, Feb 26
12 AM

The Club

The Detour

Robin's ex Carlos lures her back into their wild past with a visit to the club where they used to party. Meanwhile, the kids meet Nate's new boss, and Nate gets a teeny bit jealous when he sees Robin with Carlos.

TV-MA

12:33 AM

Norbit

Norbit never has had it easy. As a baby, he was abandoned on the steps of a Chinese restaurant/orphanage and raised by Mr. Wong. Things get worse when he's forced into marriage by Rasputia. Just when Norbit's hanging by his last thread, his childhood sweetheart, Kate, moves back to town.

TV-PG

2:33 AM

Matilda

Matilda is a bright little girl who is very eager to learn. Eventually, her insensitive parents send her to a school run by Miss Trunchbull. She is a cruel authoritarian that loathes children. Matilda befriends her school teacher, Miss Honey. She soon realizes Matilda's talents but is later amazed to see the full extent of Matilda's powers.

TV-PG

4:30 AM

Santa

New Girl

When the gang attempts to juggle multiple holiday parties in one night, Jess tries to avoid a remorseful Sam, Nick tries to keep up with a sexually adventurous Angie and Winston panics when he gets a cranberry stuck in his ear.

TV-14

5 AM

The Model (SAP)

Everybody Loves Raymond

After a modeling agent tells Robert he has a unique look, he convinces him to pose for head shots with their in-house photographer. But when Robert and Ray return for the pictures, they are surprised to find the modeling agency has mysteriously disappeared.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

The Mentor (SAP)

Everybody Loves Raymond

Robert and Ray end up with the mother of all guilt trips when they decide not to help Marie with a home project so they can land a prime spot on the golf course. Their overnight wait in the car for a tee time becomes a brawl over their respective roles in their parents' future.

TV-PG

6 AM

Golf For It (SAP)

Everybody Loves Raymond

Robert and Ray end up with the mother of all guilt trips when they decide not to help Marie with a home project so they can land a prime spot on the golf course. Their overnight wait in the car for a tee time becomes a brawl over their respective roles in their parents' future.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

The Home (SAP)

Everybody Loves Raymond

Frank and Marie return from a trip down to a retirement home in New Jersey and they tell the family that they plan on moving there. Everyone, besides Frank and Marie, is overjoyed after hearing the news. Marie and Frank sell their house to Robert and Amy for $26,000. On they day of their moving, however, Debra reveals some mixed feelings about their moving and doesn't feel right about it.

TV-PG

7 AM

The Good Samaritan

Seinfeld

Jerry tracks down a hit-and-run driver, then wants to date her; guest Helen Slater.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

The Letter

Seinfeld

Jerry's new girlfriend is a plagiarist.

TV-PG

8 AM

The Parking Space

Seinfeld

Jerry's car clanks after Elaine and George borrow it.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

The Keys

Seinfeld

Kramer visits too much, so Jerry asks for his spare key back.

TV-PG

9 AM

The One With The Ballroom Dancing (SAP)

Friends

Joey makes an odd deal with the building superintendent to prevent him from evicting Rachel and Monica. Phoebe wants to date her sexy massage client.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

The One With Joey's New Girlfriend (SAP)

Friends

Joey thinks that Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend--but the truth could be even more upsetting. Ross and Rachel try to make each other jealous.

TV-14

10 AM

The One With The Dirty Girl (SAP)

Friends

Ross' beautiful new girlfriend has a disgusting secret. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line (SAP)

Friends

Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Joey's girlfriend. Ross' musical talents are not as amazing as he and Phoebe think

TV-PG

11 AM

Norbit

Norbit never has had it easy. As a baby, he was abandoned on the steps of a Chinese restaurant/orphanage and raised by Mr. Wong. Things get worse when he's forced into marriage by Rasputia. Just when Norbit's hanging by his last thread, his childhood sweetheart, Kate, moves back to town.

TV-PG

1 PM

Tower Heist (DVS)

Josh Kovaks manages one of the most luxurious and well-secured residences in New York City. In the swankiest unit, Wall Street titan Arthur Shaw is under house arrest after stealing $2 billion from investors, including the tower staffers whose pensions he managed. With days before Arthur gets away with the perfect crime, Josh's crew turns to petty crook Slide to steal what they are sure is hidden in Arthur's guarded condo.

TV-14

3 PM

Rush Hour (DVS)

As the FBI scrambles to save the life of the kidnapped daughter of the Chinese Consul, the diplomat hires trusted Hong Kong police Detective Lee to find the girl. The FBI assigns a rogue LAPD detective to keep Lee away from the case at any cost.

TV-14

5 PM

Rush Hour 2

Chief Inspector Lee of the Hong Kong Police and LAPD detective James Carter go to Hong Kong on a much needed vacation. When they arrive, they discover a bomb has exploded in the American Embassy, killing two U.S. customs agents. Inspector Lee is assigned to crack the case, much to the chagrin of Carter who is annoyed as he feels his vacation slipping away.

TV-14

7 PM

The Herb Garden Germination (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon and Amy decide to start rumors about themselves as a social test. Meanwhile, Howard takes his relationship with Bernadette to an even higher level.

TV-14

7:30 PM

The Agreement Dissection (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Priya uses her legal expertise to rip apart Sheldon's roommate agreement, and the women take the flustered Sheldon out dancing.

TV-PG

8 PM

The Wildebeest Implementation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Raj makes an attempt to cure his phobia of talking to women; and Penny spies on Leonard and Priya with the help of Bernadette.

TV-14

8:30 PM

The Engagement Reaction (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Mrs. Wolowitz ends up in the hospital after Howard tells her he's marrying Bernadette. While there, Leonard stresses over Penny and Priya warming up to one another.

TV-14

9 PM

The Roommate Transmogrification (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

In the 4th season finale, Raj moves in with Sheldon when Leonard & Priya's "Star Trek" bedroom fantasy is too much for him; and the guys tease Howard when Bernadette gets her PHD, making Howard the only one without a doctorate.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

The Skank Reflex Analysis (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

On the fifth season premiere, Penny worries that she's screwed things up permanently with her friends after her night with Raj, while Sheldon takes command of the paintball team.

TV-14

10 PM

The Infestation Hypothesis (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

A battle of wills between Sheldon and Penny leaves Amy caught in the middle, while Leonard tries to spice up his long-distance relationship with Priya (AARTI MANN).

TV-14

10:30 PM

The Pulled Groin Extrapolation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Attending a co-worker's wedding, Leonard and Amy (MAYIM BIALIK) get to know each other better, while Howard and Bernadette spend the weekend with Mrs. Wolowitz!

TV-PG

11 PM

The City

The Detour

Nate is offered a new job in New York City, so the family moves from Syracuse to the Big Apple. Robin isn't thrilled about the idea. And of course, getting there will be way harder than it should be.

TV-MA

11:30 PM

The Club

The Detour

Robin's ex Carlos lures her back into their wild past with a visit to the club where they used to party. Meanwhile, the kids meet Nate's new boss, and Nate gets a teeny bit jealous when he sees Robin with Carlos.

TV-MA

Monday, Feb 27
12 AM

The Switch (DVS)

Despite her neurotic best friend Wally's objections, Kassie decides it's time to have a baby -- with a little help from a charming sperm donor. Unbeknownst to her, Kassie's plans go awry because of a last-minute switch that isn't discovered until seven years later when Wally gets acquainted with Kassie's son.

TV-14

2 AM

Silver Linings Playbook

Pat Solitano finds himself living with his parents after spending eight months in a state institution. Pat is determined to rebuild his life, remain positive and reunite with his wife. When Pat meets Tiffany, she offers to help him, but only if he'll do something very important for her in return.

TV-14

4:45 AM

Episode 1

TBS Network Preview

A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.

5 AM

Father Lode

Married with Children

Al finally comes into some money at the track, but hasn't time to enjoy his winnings - he's too busy hiding the loot from his family.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

All in the Family

Married with Children

Al is less than thrilled when Peggy announces her family is coming for a visit - all six of them.

TV-PG

6 AM

The Camping Show (aka A Period Piece)

Married with Children

Al and Steve's much-anticipated vacation in the great outdoors is ruined by female hormones and man-eating animals.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

He Thought He Could

Married with Children

When Al finds a library book that is 31 years overdue, he decides to finally face the librarian who once pegged him as a deadbeat.

TV-PG

7 AM

I'm Going to Sweatland

Married with Children

Al is up to his armpits in rock 'n' roll fanatics after Peggy "sees" an image of her idol in the sweat stains on one of Al's tee-shirts.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

Poke High (aka The Red Grange Story)

Married with Children

While Kelly tries to score with a high school fullback, Al roots for the opposing team in hopes his old school record will remain intact.

TV-PG

8 AM

Jung Frankenstein

The King of Queens

Carrie tries to coax Doug's therapist into targeting his bad habits.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

Mammary Lane

The King of Queens

Carrie baby-sits for the boss' son; Doug tries to make friends with the new shoe girl (Rachel Dratch) at the bowling alley.

TV-PG

9 AM

The One Where They're Going To Party (SAP)

Friends

The guys try to be spontaneous and wild. After Monica gives a bad restaurant review, she receives a new career opportunity. Rachel's boss offers her a promotion.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

The One With Phoebe's Uterus (SAP)

Friends

Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement and a thought-provoking request. Joey finds himself in a class struggle.

TV-14

10 AM

The One With The Embryos (SAP)

Friends

Phoebe finds out whether she is pregnant or not. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and the women.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

The One With Rachel's Crush (SAP)

Friends

Rachel schemes to get a handsome client to ask her on a date. Chandler's jealousy causes problems with his girlfriend.

TV-PG

11 AM

Squirt's Honor

The Cleveland Show

When Rallo joins Stoolbend's version of the Boy Scouts, he discovers he can make money selling candy bars for a fictitious charity; Cleveland and Donna win a vacation.

TV-14

11:30 AM

Grave Danger

The Cleveland Show

Cleveland and his friends discover the joys of hanging out at a local cemetery; Rallo befriends neighborhood tough guys after making a trip to Robert's apartment in East Stoolbend.

TV-14

12 PM

A Smith in the Hand

American Dad

Steve injures Stan's groin and feels terrible, inadvertently leading Stan to discover masturbation. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bar in the attic.

TV-14

12:30 PM

All About Steve

American Dad

Stan comes to terms with Steve being a geek when Steve helps him apprehend a cyber-terrorist. Meanwhile, Hayley helps Roger explore life outside the house.

TV-14

1 PM

Con Heir

American Dad

Stan's father returns and tricks Stan into helping him on a jewel heist.

TV-14

1:30 PM

Stan of Arabia (Part 1) (DVS)

American Dad

Stan gets stationed in Saudi Arabia and learns to love the Saudi lifestyle. Meanwhile, Hayley falls for a Saudi guy and Roger becomes a prince's concubine.

TV-14

2 PM

The Land Ship

Bob's Burgers

The upcoming Land Ship parade could mean increased business for Bob, until he learns that two port-o-potties will be placed in front of the restaurant. Meanwhile, Tina learns from her friends that she's boring, so she joins up with Jordan who has been vandalizing the school with graffiti. But when Jordan wants to spray graffiti on the Land Ship, Tina must decide between ruining the parade and disappointing her new crush.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

The Hauntening

Bob's Burgers

The Belchers are ready for an amazing Halloween! After Louise insists that sheÆs never been scared before, Bob and Linda reveal their plans to visit a special haunted house that just might rectify the situation. But when trouble ensues following their visit, the Belchers find themselves in a zany situation more frightening than they bargained for!

TV-PG

3 PM

Gayle Makin' Bob Sled

Bob's Burgers

When Gayle is injured, Linda sends Bob off to pick her up so that she doesn't miss out on the Thanksgiving festivities. But an unexpected snowstorm derails his trip home, and his epic plan to prepare the turkey is foiled. Bob then must put the fate of the turkey and the Belcher Thanksgiving in Linda's hands and spend time bonding with his sister-in-law.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

Nice-Capades

Bob's Burgers

When a grumpy mall Santa threatens the kids with the dreaded Naughty List, Gene, Tina and Louise decide to put on a musical performance spectacular, which highlights all of their alleged good deeds from the past year, in order to earn their spot on the Nice List. But can they change Santa's mind in time to save their Christmas

TV-14

4 PM

The Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, & Her Lover

Bob's Burgers

When Bob throws a dinner party to bond with his new friend, Gayle uses the opportunity to introduce the family to her new love interest. Unbeknownst to Gayle, Louise has a long standing feud with her new boyfriend and will stop at nothing to break them apart. Calamity ensues as Bob attempts to impress his new buddy and the kids take action.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The Son Also Draws

Family Guy

Lois loses $20,000 gambling at the Indian casino.

TV-14

5 PM

Brian: Portrait of a Dog (DVS)

Family Guy

Brian decides to stand up for his rights when Peter enters him in a dog show.

TV-14

5:30 PM

Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois' aunt dies and leaves her mansion to the Griffins.

TV-14

6 PM

Holy Crap (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter invites his religious father to live with the family.

TV-14

6:30 PM

Da Boom (DVS)

Family Guy

Paranoid about Y2K, Peter herds the family into the basement for protection.

TV-14

7 PM

Brian In Love (DVS)

Family Guy

A therapist tells Brian his carpet-wetting is the result of his repressed feelings for Lois.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Love Thy Trophy (DVS)

Family Guy

The Griffins and their neighbors build a festival float; waitress Meg schemes to get bigger tips.

TV-14

8 PM

Death is a Bitch (DVS)

Family Guy

Death pays Peter a visit when he claims "deceased" on insurance forms.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Stan of Arabia (Part 2) (DVS)

American Dad

The Smith family is condemned to death for breaking Saudi law.

TV-14

9 PM

Stannie Get Your Gun (DVS)

American Dad

Stan and Hayley attempt to bond, but Stan's obsession with guns gets in the way. When they try to work out their differences at the shooting range, Hayley accidentally shoots Stan and paralyzes him. Meanwhile, Roger takes revenge on Steve for eating his cookie by convincing him he's adopted.

TV-14

9:30 PM

The King Is Dead (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois asks Peter to be the producer of "The King and I.''

TV-14

10 PM

I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter finds his feminine side when he is sent to a women's retreat for sensitivity training.

TV-14

10:30 PM

If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin' (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter makes Chris pretend he's dying, in order to save a television program.

TV-14

11 PM

February 27, 2017

Conan

Guests: Adam Scott, Genesis Rodriguez

TV-14

Tuesday, Feb 28
12 AM

And the Old Bike Yarn (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline takes an abandoned bicycle to start a delivery service for their cupcake business but soon discovers that Max doesn't know how to ride one.

TV-14

12:30 AM

February 27, 2017

Conan

Guests: Adam Scott, Genesis Rodriguez

TV-14

1:30 AM

The Gymnast

Seinfeld

Elaine must substitute for her boss in a merger deal; a girlfriend's mom sees George eating out of the trash; guest Maurice Godin.

TV-PG

2 AM

A Perfect Getaway

Cliff and Cydney are a couple celebrating their honeymoon by backpacking in a remote beach in Hawaii. When they come across a group of hikers discussing the murder of another newlywed couple, they begin to question whether they should turn back

TV-14

4 AM

Cabin

New Girl

Jess invites Nick and Angie to spend a couples' weekend with her and Sam. Once there, however, she quickly discovers that two's company and four's a crowd. Meanwhile, Winston tries to teach Schmidt about race relations.

TV-14

4:30 AM

A Father's Love

New Girl

When Nick's con-man father suddenly reappears, Jess tries her best to fix the two men's relationship, despite Nick's fears that he's being used in another one of his dad's gambling schemes. Meanwhile, Schmidt teams up with Robby to try to win back Cece.

TV-14

5 AM

A Dump of My Own

Married with Children

Al sets out to fulfill a lifelong dream when he begins construction on his very own bathroom, equipped with the legendary Ferguson Toilet.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Her Cups Runneth Over

Married with Children

Peggy is so miserable when her favorite bra is discontinued, that Al is forced to take matters into his own hands and find a replacement.

TV-PG

6 AM

The Bald and the Beautiful

Married with Children

When Al and Steve face up to the bald fact that they are both losing their hair, they decide to seek the counsel and encouragement of a hairless support group.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

I'll See You in Court

Married with Children

Peggy hopes that an overnight stay in a motel will liven up her sex life with Al only to discover that their most intimate moments have been videotaped by the management.

TV-PG

7 AM

The Gypsy Cried

Married with Children

When a gypsy fortune teller predicts disaster for Marcy and good fortune for Al, Steve and Peggy, Marcy insists that they accompany her on a plane trip to New York, first class, of course.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

Requiem for a Dead Barber

Married with Children

When Al's long-time barber passes on, Al is forced to face the fact that the old-fashioned barber shop is a thing of the past and resigns himself to a future of beauty salon haircuts.

TV-PG

8 AM

Eatin' Out

Married with Children

When the Bundy's receive a modest inheritance check from Peg's deceased uncle, they decide to splurge and eat out at an elegant restaurant.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

My Mom, the Mom

Married with Children

Peggy is the hit of Mother/Daughter Career Day at Kelly's school when she instructs the girls in the art of being a housewife, including demonstrations of wallet pilfering and mastering the TV remote control.

TV-PG

9 AM

Business Affairs

The King of Queens

Doug gets jealous of Carrie's gay co-worker and worries about the strength of their marriage.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

Flash Photography

The King of Queens

While at a wedding, Doug plays a lewd joke with a disposable camera.

TV-PG

10 AM

Flame Resistant

The King of Queens

Carrie finds out Doug's high-school sweetheart (Lola Glaudini) still keeps in touch with his mother.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

Connect Four

The King of Queens

Carrie and Doug try to find the perfect couple to join them at a Knicks game.

TV-PG

11 AM

Of Lice and Men

The Cleveland Show

Rallo is forced to have his head shaved after he contracts lice; Cleveland housesits for Freight Train and Cookie.

TV-14

11:30 AM

Mr. & Mrs. Brown

The Cleveland Show

Cleveland and Cookie get mistaken for a married couple; after he gets caught stealing a candy bar, Rallo pins the theft on Junior.

TV-14

12 PM

Star Trek

American Dad

Steve becomes a famous author, and the entire family gets caught up in his celebrity, including Stan, who becomes an unbearable "stage parent." After Steve hooks up with an agent, he abandons his family to lead a "Cribs" lifestyle.

TV-14

12:30 PM

Not Particularly Desperate Housewife

American Dad

Francine tries to join a women's organization, only to discover that she must cheat on Stan to become a member. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger fight over the attention of an adorable little dog, and Hayley locks Steve and Klaus in her closet.

TV-14

1 PM

Rough Trade

American Dad

Stan and Roger experience life in each other's shoes in a Freaky Friday-type switch. As a result, Roger becomes a car salesman while Stan stays around at home all day, both realizing these lives aren't all they're cracked up to be.

TV-14

1:30 PM

Finances with Wolves

American Dad

Stan gets a hefty bonus at work and uses it on himself, while Francine opens a muffin shop without Stan's approval. Now without a housewife at home, Stan puts Klaus's brain back into a human body. Meanwhile, Steve is convinced he's becoming a werewolf.

TV-14

2 PM

Running Mates (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter runs against Lois for a seat on the school board.

TV-14

2:30 PM

A Picture Is Worth a 1,000 Bucks (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter is envious of an old friend's success; Chris' painting gets serious attention.

TV-14

3 PM

The City

The Detour

Nate is offered a new job in New York City, so the family moves from Syracuse to the Big Apple. Robin isn't thrilled about the idea. And of course, getting there will be way harder than it should be.

TV-MA

3:30 PM

The Club

The Detour

Robin's ex Carlos lures her back into their wild past with a visit to the club where they used to party. Meanwhile, the kids meet Nate's new boss, and Nate gets a teeny bit jealous when he sees Robin with Carlos.

TV-MA

4 PM

The One With Joey's Dirty Day (SAP)

Friends

CHARLTON HESTON (As Himself) finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favor.

TV-14

4:30 PM

The One With All The Rugby (SAP)

Friends

Chandler's annoying former girlfriend reappears. Ross plays rugby to impress Emily -- with painful results.

TV-PG

5 PM

The One With The Fake Party (SAP)

Friends

Trying to become better acquainted with her sexy client, Rachel inadvertently thwarts Ross' plans for a romantic evening with his girlfriend.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

The One With The Free Porn (SAP)

Friends

Monica helps Ross tell his girlfriend that he loves her. Phoebe gets some surprising news about her pregnancy.

TV-14

6 PM

The Mom & Pop Store

Seinfeld

George buys a convertible the salesman claims once belonged to Jon Voight.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

The Soup

Seinfeld

Jerry regrets accepting a designer suit from an obnoxious comedian (Stephen Hytner).

TV-PG

7 PM

The Secretary

Seinfeld

A new secretary's efficiency arouses George; Jerry spots a dry cleaner wearing his clothes.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

The Wiggly Finger Catalyst (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

When Raj is upset he's the only one of the four guys who's not in a relationship, Penny sets out to find the perfect date, introducing him to Emily, a girl he can actually talk to!

TV-PG

8 PM

The Russian Rocket Reaction (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon and Leonard get invited to a housewarming party at WIL WHEATON's house; while Howard gets an out-of-this-world opportunity!

TV-PG

8:30 PM

The Rhinitis Revelation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon craves attention from his visiting mother.

TV-PG

9 PM

The Good Guy Fluctuation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon tries to spook his friends on Halloween.

TV-14

9:30 PM

The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon becomes jealous when Stuart asks Amy for a date.

TV-PG

10 PM

The Tub

The Detour

As Nate and Robin contemplate having another baby, a neighbor's casual get-together turns into a home birth. And Delilah learns what it means to be a third wheel.

TV-MA

10:30 PM

February 8, 2017

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

Full Frontal takes a trip across the pond before Trump decides to drain that too.

TV-MA

11 PM

February 28, 2017

Conan

Guests: Martin Short, Natalie Zea, The Pretty Reckless

TV-14

Wednesday, Mar 1
12 AM

The Tub

The Detour

As Nate and Robin contemplate having another baby, a neighbor's casual get-together turns into a home birth. And Delilah learns what it means to be a third wheel.

TV-MA

12:30 AM

February 28, 2017

Conan

Guests: Martin Short, Natalie Zea, The Pretty Reckless

TV-14

1:30 AM

The Switch

Seinfeld

Kramer's mom (Sheree North) reveals her son's name to George; guest Terry Sweeney.

TV-PG

2 AM

From Paris With Love

A personal aide to the U.S. Ambassador in France, James Reese has an enviable life in Paris and a beautiful French girlfriend, but his real passion is his side job as a low-level operative for the CIA. All James wants is to become a bona fide agent and see some real action. So when he's offered his first senior-level assignment, he can't believe his good luck -- until he meets his new partner, special agent Charlie Wax. A trigger-happy, wisecracking, loose cannon who's been sent to Paris to stop a terrorist attack, Wax leads James on a white-knuckle shooting spree through the Parisian underworld that has James praying for his desk job. But when James discovers he's a target of the same crime ring they're trying to bust, he realizes there's no turning back -- and that Wax himself might be his only hope for making it through the next 48 hours alive.

TV-14

4 AM

Pepperwood

New Girl

When Nick is convinced that one of Jess' students is hiding a nefarious secret, he goes undercover in her adult night school class. Meanwhile, Winston has an embarrassing encounter with Cece, causing an examination of all the loft-mate's peculiarities.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Cooler

New Girl

Nick and Schmidt go out on a bro's night but quickly become infatuated with and highly competitive over a beautiful woman attracted to sadness. Meanwhile, Winston falls for a girl with absolutely no interest in him, which only makes him more attracted to her. Then, Jess' decision to have a night alone in the loft doesn't go as planned and involves another round of the drinking game "True American," and a surprising development in her relationship with one of the loft mates.

TV-14

5 AM

Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me (aka Kelly's Dance)

Married with Children

When Kelly is faced with a choice of getting kicked out of school or joining the tap dance club, she swallows her pride, buckles on her tap shoes and performs some dirty dancing that leaves the audience sweating in their seats.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

A Three Job, No Income Family

Married with Children

When Peggy gets a job selling cosmetics and brings home more money than Al, he gets a second job to regain his self-respect, but still finds himself losing the breadwinning game.

TV-PG

6 AM

The Harder They Fall

Married with Children

After Peggy gives the highway salute to a rude driver while in the Rhoades' car, Steve is obsessed with the fear that the enraged driver - a possible ex-con - may come looking for him.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

The House That Peg Lost

Married with Children

When Steve and Marcy return from vacation after entrusting the keys to their house to Peggy, they're shocked to find a big hole where their house used to be.

TV-PG

7 AM

Married. . .with Prom Queen (1)

Married with Children

In this two-part story, Peggy and Al attend the Polk High School Reunion where Peggy is determined to defeat her old nemesis for the title of Reunion Queen.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

Married. . .with Prom Queen: The Sequel (2)

Married with Children

Peggy vigorously campaigns for the title of Reunion Queen while Al settles an old score with a former classmate at the Polk High School Reunion.

TV-PG

8 AM

The Computer Show

Married with Children

Peggy brings the family closer to the poorhouse when she insists on buying a home computer.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

The Dateless Amigo

Married with Children

When Bud finds it difficult to line up a date, he resorts to the next best thing - a mannequin -with a penchant for losing her head.

TV-PG

9 AM

Mentalo Case

The King of Queens

Doug recalls his childhood toy Mentalo; Arthur sends Holly to find the perfect gift for his daughter.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

Loaner Car

The King of Queens

Doug persuades Carrie to help Deacon prepare Thanksgiving Day dinner.

TV-PG

10 AM

Golden Moldy

The King of Queens

Doug downplays a problem in the basement so he and Carrie can still go on a trip they have planned.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

S'Poor House

The King of Queens

Doug asks for financial assistance when insurance does not cover a mold problem.

TV-PG

11 AM

Crazy Train

The Cleveland Show

When Freight Train begins treating Cleveland with respect, Donna concludes there's only one cause: a mental breakdown; Junior and Rallo make off with a cherry-picker.

TV-14

11:30 AM

Wheel! Of! Family!

The Cleveland Show

An exhausted Cleveland and Donna ask relatives for help when Junior, Roberta and Rallo run them ragged; Robert and Dee Dee adopt a baby; Junior takes a pole dancing class.

TV-14

12 PM

It's Good to Be Queen

American Dad

Stan seeks revenge for being the focus of a prank during his high school years by showing off that he married Francine, who was the homecoming queen. However, when her title is revealed to be a mistake, Stan's pride gets the best of him and goes out with the real queen.

TV-14

12:30 PM

Roger N' Me

American Dad

When Stan goes to Atlantic City for a bachelor party and is shunned by his so-called best friend, Roger steps in and becomes Stan's new sidekick. Their friendship goes to a whole new level, but when they return home and face Francine, Stan realizes that what happens in Atlantic City doesn't necessarily stay there.

TV-14

1 PM

Helping Handis

American Dad

Stan wants Steve to be popular and goes to desperate measures by giving him steroids to make him bigger, better, and part of the in-crowd at school. But when the steroids have an unexpected side effect, Steve gets more attention than anyone expected.

TV-14

1:30 PM

With Friends Like Steve's

American Dad

After Steve shows a lack of interest in Stan's job, Stan replaces him with Barry, Steve's obese friend, who is in fact malicious (without his medication) and plots to replace Steve completely. Meanwhile, Roger does an impressive keg stand and becomes a fraternity brother.

TV-14

2 PM

Fifteen Minutes of Shame (DVS)

Family Guy

Meg exposes her family on a talk show.

TV-14

2:30 PM

Road to Rhode Island (DVS)

Family Guy

Stewie misbehaves while visiting his grandparents.

TV-14

3 PM

Tinfinity

New Girl

Jess catches the eye of a professional football player, with whom Winston landed an exclusive interview for his radio station. Meanwhile, Nick and Schmidt argue over the planning of their TinFinity party celebrating their tenth anniversary of living together, and Cece gets a surprise offer.

TV-14

3:30 PM

Quick Hardening Caulk

New Girl

Jess comes to a conclusion about her romantic feelings for Nick and she struggles to tell him until she's hopped up on pain medication. But after admitting her feelings, she finds out he may have been keeping something from her. Meanwhile, Schmidt becomes obsessed with buying a fish, which Winston sees as a metaphor for Schmidt's unresolved feelings toward Cece, and Nick plans a bar promotion to impress the bar owner.

TV-14

4 PM

The One with Rachel's New Dress (SAP)

Friends

Ross and his ex-wife become jealous when their lovers go to England together. Rachel's plans to seduce her boyfriend go awry.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The One with All the Haste (SAP)

Friends

Drastic changes occur in Ross' relationship with Emily. Monica and Rachel will do anything to get their old apartment back from the guys.

TV-PG

5 PM

The One With the Wedding Dresses (SAP)

Friends

Rachel reacts drastically to Ross' engagement. Chandler becomes exasperated by Joey's snoring.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

The One With The Invitation (SAP)

Friends

Rachel and the engaged Ross reminisce separately about when they dated each other. The friends get invitations to Ross' wedding--but not all of them are going.

TV-PG

6 PM

The Label Maker

Seinfeld

Jerry and Elaine are suspicious of a friend's gifts; guest Jessica Tuck.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

The Race

Seinfeld

An ex-classmate questions Jerry's status as the fastest runner in high school; guest Vicki Lewis.

TV-PG

7 PM

The Scofflaw

Seinfeld

A friend (Jon Lovitz) fakes illness to get Jerry's sympathy; Kramer obstructs justice.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

The Isolation Permutation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Bernadette & Penny shop for wedding dresses...without Amy.

TV-PG

8 PM

The Ornithophobia Diffusion (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon must overcome his fear of birds.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon becomes jealous when Stuart asks Amy for a date.

TV-PG

9 PM

The Speckerman Recurrance (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Leonard comes face-to-face with his high school bully.

TV-14

9:30 PM

The Shiny Trinket Maneuver (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon gets in trouble with Amy, and it's up to Penny to teach him how to be a better boyfriend. Howard, meanwhile, must come to grips with Bernadette's dislike of children.

TV-PG

10 PM

Conan Without Borders: Made in Mexico

Conan

With all of the negative news about the current state of the U.S.-Mexico relationship, Conan has decided to strike a positive note by heading to Mexico City, where he'll outsource his show by shooting his latest "CONAN Without Borders" special with the help of an all-Mexican staff, crew, guests and studio audience.

TV-14

11 PM

March 1, 2017

Conan

Guests: Mandy Moore, Jimmy Pardo, Chris Lane

TV-14