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DVS Offerings

Monday, Sep 26
2 AM

Red 2

Retired black-ops CIA agent Frank Moses reunites his motley team of elite operatives for a worldwide hunt to track down a missing portable nuclear device. To succeed, they'll need to survive relentless assassins, ruthless terrorists and power-crazed government officials.

TV-14

4:30 AM

AFHV #2303

America's Funniest Home Videos

Salute to stupidity and dog park

TV-G

5:30 AM

Take My Wife, Please

Married with Children

On Halloween, Al is left to face Death as Peggy and the kids are recruited to fill in for the Village People.

TV-PG

6 AM

Scared Single

Married with Children

Al tries to counsel a new employee against marriage.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

NO MA'AM

Married with Children

The women take over the bowling alley and the nudie bar. Al and his group are furious, and create the NO MA'AM group.

TV-PG

7 AM

Dances with Weezy

Married with Children

Al and Jefferson avoid a theater event in order to go to a sports bar.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

Change for a Buck

Married with Children

Feeling disenchanted and ignored, Buck runs away.

TV-PG

8 AM

A Little off the Top

Married with Children

Al is accidentally circumcised.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

The Worst Noel

Married with Children

TV-PG

9 AM

Female Problems

The King of Queens

Carrie befriends a new neighbor; Doug feels left out.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

Assaulted Nuts

The King of Queens

After Doug convinces Carrie he doesn't goof around at work, horseplay gets him into a painful and embarrassing predicament.

TV-14

10 AM

The One With Monica's Thunder (SAP)

Friends

Monica excitedly reveals her good news to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her. Chandler has trouble making love.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

The One With Rachel's Book (SAP)

Friends

Monica is outraged to find out what her parents did with her wedding fund. Joey discovers Rachel's late-night reading material.

TV-PG

11 AM

The One With Phoebe's Cookies (SAP)

Friends

Monica desperately tries to figure out a secret cookie recipe. Chandler fails to impress Monica's father.

TV-PG

11:30 AM

The One With Rachel's Assistant (SAP)

Friends

Rachel is in a quandary when a sexy but unqualified man (EDDIE CAHILL) applies to be her assistant. Chandler, Monica and Ross tell embarrassing secrets about one another.

TV-PG

12 PM

Frapp Attack!

The Cleveland Show

An online video of Donna throwing a frappuccino in Cleveland's face attracts the attention of a music producer who tries stealing Donna away from Cleveland.

TV-14

12:30 PM

American Prankster

The Cleveland Show

A series of escalating pranks between Rallo and Cleveland Jr. lands Rallo in court, where he's sentenced to serve time in juvenile hall.

TV-14

1 PM

Bullocks to Stan

American Dad

Hayley dumps Jeff and dates Bullock. Stan withholds his objections in order to get a promotion.

TV-14

1:30 PM

A Smith in the Hand

American Dad

Steve injures Stan's groin and feels terrible, inadvertently leading Stan to discover masturbation. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bar in the attic.

TV-14

2 PM

All About Steve

American Dad

Stan comes to terms with Steve being a geek when Steve helps him apprehend a cyber-terrorist. Meanwhile, Hayley helps Roger explore life outside the house.

TV-14

2:30 PM

Con Heir

American Dad

Stan's father returns and tricks Stan into helping him on a jewel heist.

TV-14

3 PM

Human Flesh

Bob's Burgers

Bob rallies the team to cook up some business for Grand Re-Re-Re-Opening of Bob's Burgers, sending middle child Gene to push samples in the streets, eldest daughter Tina to work the grill and youngest daughter Louise to staff the counter.

TV-14

3:30 PM

Crawl Space

Bob's Burgers

When Bob learns that Linda's parents are coming for a visit, he takes drastic measures to avoid having contact with them. While fixing a leak in the attic, he pretends to get stuck while investigating a series of Prohibition Era passageways behind the walls. Bob manages to run the restaurant by ordering the family around from the safety of his wall maze, but then actually becomes stuck and begins to get a touch of cabin fever.

TV-PG

4 PM

Sacred Cow

Bob's Burgers

When a controversial documentary filmmaker places a live cow outside of the family restaurant to make a statement about animal cruelty, Bob is livid when it starts to scare away customers.

TV-14

4:30 PM

Love Thy Trophy (DVS)

Family Guy

The Griffins and their neighbors build a festival float; waitress Meg schemes to get bigger tips.

TV-14

5 PM

Death is a Bitch (DVS)

Family Guy

Death pays Peter a visit when he claims "deceased" on insurance forms.

TV-14

5:30 PM

The King Is Dead (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois asks Peter to be the producer of "The King and I.''

TV-14

6 PM

I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter finds his feminine side when he is sent to a women's retreat for sensitivity training.

TV-14

6:30 PM

If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin' (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter makes Chris pretend he's dying, in order to save a television program.

TV-14

7 PM

Running Mates (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter runs against Lois for a seat on the school board.

TV-14

7:30 PM

A Picture Is Worth a 1,000 Bucks (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter is envious of an old friend's success; Chris' painting gets serious attention.

TV-14

8 PM

Fifteen Minutes of Shame (DVS)

Family Guy

Meg exposes her family on a talk show.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Stan of Arabia (Part 1) (DVS)

American Dad

Stan gets stationed in Saudi Arabia and learns to love the Saudi lifestyle. Meanwhile, Hayley falls for a Saudi guy and Roger becomes a prince's concubine.

TV-14

9 PM

Stan of Arabia (Part 2) (DVS)

American Dad

The Smith family is condemned to death for breaking Saudi law.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Road to Rhode Island (DVS)

Family Guy

Stewie misbehaves while visiting his grandparents.

TV-14

10 PM

Let's Go to the Hop (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter infiltrates Quahog High School as a new student; guest voice Gregg Allman.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Muslim-American Reporting

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

Full Frontal visits a Muslim-American community to see if they're reporting terrorists to the police.

TV-MA

11 PM

September 26, 2016

Conan

Guests: Patton Oswalt, Joe Walsh, Tall Heights.

TV-14

Tuesday, Sep 27
12 AM

And the Fun Factory (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline hire a factory to produce their cupcake T-shirts, but they become suspicious of the work conditions there due to the company's overly enthusiastic employees.

TV-14

12:30 AM

September 26, 2016

Conan

Guests: Patton Oswalt, Joe Walsh, Tall Heights.

TV-14

1:30 AM

Into the Great Wide Open (SAP)

Cougar Town

TV-PG

2 AM

Sex Drive

At 18, Ian Lafferty is struggling through his last summer before college. His biggest problem is that he's about to start college as a virgin. He's determined to rectify that before he officially becomes a freshman, and his devil-may-care pal Lance is on hand to help. A total washout out with the girl of his dreams and longtime "best friend" Felicia, Ian resorts to the Internet for dates. He soon hooks up with Ms. Tasty, a flaming hot blonde who can't wait to get busy. But there's one tiny catch: Ian has to drive 500 miles from Chicago to Knoxville to consummate the deal. Egged on by Lance, Ian risks life and limb by appropriating "The Judge," Rex's prized vintage Pontiac GTO, for a cross-country "sex drive." With Lance and Felicia in tow, the planned eight-hour drive turns into a three-day marathon as the trio loses its way in the Heartland and ends up taking a scenic tour of Midwestern back roads. Car trouble, a stint in the pokey, a detour to an Amish farm and an afternoon at a roadside carnival all complicate Ian's journey, but it's Lance's overactive libido that really threatens to derail his plans. Will Rex find him before he reaches Nirvana? Will a cuckolded husband exact revenge on Lance just as he seems to have found true love? Will Ms. Tasty live up to her Internet profile? Will Ian realize what it is he really wants? And most importantly, will Ian, Felicia and Lance survive the perilous road to adulthood with all its unexpected twists and turns?

TV-14

4 AM

AFHV #2304

America's Funniest Home Videos

Halloweenies 2012 and second guy bites it

TV-G

5 AM

Honey, I Blew Up Myself

Married with Children

Peggy's birthday gift for Al causes quite a stir at the mall.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Sofa So Good

Married with Children

Al and Peggy go away for awhile, and Kelly has her boyfriend over, who happens to ruin the couch. Bud and Kelly have to replace it before Al and Peggy come back.

TV-PG

6 AM

How Green was My Apple

Married with Children

The Bundy's and the D'Arcys go to war over a property line dispute.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

Get Outta Dodge

Married with Children

When Al's old Dodge approaches the one million mark, the manufacturer offers to highlight it in a commercial--in exchange for a brand new sports car.

TV-PG

7 AM

Valentine's Day Massacre

Married with Children

When Bud discovers a long-lost Valentine's card a girlfriend had sent him a year ago, he goes on a mission to find his "lost love."

TV-PG

7:30 AM

Field of Screams

Married with Children

Al fights to keep an auto factory from replacing his high school football field.

TV-PG

8 AM

The D'Arcy Files

Married with Children

Jefferson reveals his past life as a spy.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

The Legend of Ironhead Haynes

Married with Children

When Al's sarcasm costs him his prized parking space, he turns to a manly hero for advice.

TV-PG

9 AM

Parent Trapped

The King of Queens

Deacon and Kelly ask Doug and Carrie to be the godparents of their new baby; Arthur is put in charge of the pretzel stand.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

Dire Strayts

The King of Queens

Doug and Carrie invite Ray and Debra Barone (``Everybody Loves Raymond'') to dinner; Doug gets stuck in the attic.

TV-PG

10 AM

Doug Out

The King of Queens

Feeling guilty, Doug invites Arthur to a Mets game; Doug gets arrested trying to catch a foul ball.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

Tube Stakes

The King of Queens

Doug's big screen television is stolen when Carrie accidentally leaves the garage door open.

TV-PG

11 AM

B.M.O.C.

The Cleveland Show

While researching potential colleges for Roberta to attend, Cleveland visits his old fraternity, where he's made a fool of; Rallo becomes a substitute for Junior's stuffed animal.

TV-14

11:30 AM

Jesus Walks

The Cleveland Show

A cute girl entices Cleveland Jr. to join the church choir; Cleveland thinks Donna may be cheating on him.

TV-14

12 PM

Stannie Get Your Gun

American Dad

Stan and Hayley attempt to bond, but Stan's obsession with guns gets in the way. When they try to work out their differences at the shooting range, Hayley accidentally shoots Stan and paralyzes him. Meanwhile, Roger takes revenge on Steve for eating his cookie by convincing him he's adopted.

TV-14

12:30 PM

Star Trek

American Dad

Steve becomes a famous author, and the entire family gets caught up in his celebrity, including Stan, who becomes an unbearable "stage parent." After Steve hooks up with an agent, he abandons his family to lead a "Cribs" lifestyle.

TV-14

1 PM

Not Particularly Desperate Housewife

American Dad

Francine tries to join a women's organization, only to discover that she must cheat on Stan to become a member. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger fight over the attention of an adorable little dog, and Hayley locks Steve and Klaus in her closet.

TV-14

1:30 PM

Rough Trade

American Dad

Stan and Roger experience life in each other's shoes in a Freaky Friday-type switch. As a result, Roger becomes a car salesman while Stan stays around at home all day, both realizing these lives aren't all they're cracked up to be.

TV-14

2 PM

Dammit Janet (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois enrolls Stewie at a day care center.

TV-14

2:30 PM

There's Something About Paulie (DVS)

Family Guy

As a favor, Peter takes a mobster's nephew to a movie.

TV-14

3 PM

The (Christmas) 23rd

New Girl

The gang attends Schmidt's holiday office party, and Jess frets when she receives an expensive gift from Paul.

TV-14

3:30 PM

The Story of the 50

New Girl

When Schmidt's plans for his 29th birthday fall apart, Jess takes charge and enlists the help of her school's party hungry vice-principal. Meanwhile, Nick begrudgingly brings his new girlfriend to Schmidt's party, and the gang wonders who placed a 50 dollar bill in the douche-bag jar.

TV-14

4 PM

The One With The Engagement Picture (SAP)

Friends

Joey tries to teach Chandler how to smile for the camera. Phoebe and Ross bicker over their divorcing friends.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The One With The Nap Partners (SAP)

Friends

Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid of honor, but Monica doesn't want to make the decision. Chandler tries to apologize to a girlfriend from his youth.

TV-PG

5 PM

The One With Ross's Library Book (SAP)

Friends

Chandler's former girlfriend (MAGGIE WHEELER) manipulates Chandler and Monica. Rachel and Phoebe meddle in Joey's relationship. KRISTIN DAVIS also guest stars.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

The One With All the Candy (SAP)

Friends

Rachel gets in trouble for dating her assistant (EDDIE CAHILL). Monica tries to become friendlier with her neighbors. Phoebe needs lessons in riding a bike.

TV-PG

6 PM

The Cartoon

Seinfeld

Susan's old friend Sally succeeds with a one-woman show about Jerry.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

The Strongbox

Seinfeld

Kramer hides his strongbox key at Jerry's place; a neighbor feuds with Jerry.

TV-PG

7 PM

The Wizard

Seinfeld

Jerry buys his father an electronic organizer; Kramer retires to Florida.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

The Burning

Seinfeld

George seeks timely exits; Jerry's gal has a secret; Elaine learns Puddy is religious.

TV-PG

8 PM

The Discovery Dissipation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

When Sheldon's accidental scientific discovery is disproved, Amy and Leonard try to help him deal with the shame and the disappointment. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette open their home to Raj for a week.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

The Cooper Extraction (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

With Sheldon in Texas, the gang gathers to decorate for Christmas, and they contemplate if each would have had a wonderful life had they never met him.

TV-PG

9 PM

The Hesitation Ramification (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Penny turns to Leonard for comfort after her guest appearance on NCIS does not turn out well. She ends up putting Leonard on the spot regarding their relationship. Sheldon works on his sense of humor and Raj practices talking to girls.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

The Occupation Recalibration (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

There's impactful news on the work front as Penny makes a big step toward pursuing a full-time acting career, and Sheldon is forced to take a vacation.

TV-PG

10 PM

The Convention Conundrum (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Unable to score tickets for Comic-Con, Sheldon decides to stage his own comic-book convention, while the ladies attempt to act like "grown ups".

TV-PG

10:30 PM

The Locomotive Manipulation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Amy has amour on her mind when she talks Sheldon into a romantic Valentine's Day getaway to Napa Valley wine country. Back at home, Leonard and Penny make an emergency visit to the vet with Raj's dog.

TV-PG

11 PM

September 27, 2016

Conan

Guests: Sharon Osbourne, Bruce Campbell, Mike Recine.

TV-14

Wednesday, Sep 28
12 AM

And the Past and the Furious (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline is shocked when she receives a Lamborghini for her birthday, which her father ordered for her four years ago. Meanwhile, Oleg plans something special for Sophie.

TV-14

12:30 AM

September 27, 2016

Conan

Guests: Sharon Osbourne, Bruce Campbell, Mike Recine.

TV-14

1:30 AM

Don't Do Me Like That (SAP)

Cougar Town

TV-PG

2 AM

Your Highness

When Fabious' bride-to-be Belladonna is kidnapped, he goes on a quest to rescue her, accompanied by his lazy, useless brother Thadeous. Joined by Isabel -- an elusive warrior with a dangerous agenda -- the brothers must vanquish horrific creatures and traitorous knights.

TV-14

4 AM

AFHV #2305

America's Funniest Home Videos

Not so super-heroes and name that sound

TV-G

5 AM

Nooner or Nothing

Married with Children

To win a contest, Peggy must persuade Al to come home from work to engage in some afternoon hanky-panky.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Kelly Knows Something

Married with Children

After their television breaks down and Al finds a way to win a large sum of money to buy a replacement, he auditions to be a contestant on a new sports trivia game show. However, after he is turned down because he lacks personality, he enlists Kelly to take his place.

TV-PG

6 AM

Assault and Batteries

Married with Children

Household chores threaten Al's chance to see a favorite old movie.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

Ride Scare

Married with Children

Al becomes an environmental hero and celebrity.

TV-PG

7 AM

Al Goes Deep

Married with Children

A football star's romance with Kelly jeopardizes Jefferson's lifesaving wager on a big game.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

Shoeway to Heaven

Married with Children

Al and Jefferson become vintage shoe entrepreneurs.

TV-PG

8 AM

Driving Mr. Boondy

Married with Children

Al must brave the department of motor vehicles to renew his driver's license, but discovers that his fate lies in Bud's hands.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

Kelly Breaks Out

Married with Children

An untimely pimple threatens Kelly's acting career.

TV-PG

9 AM

Get Away

The King of Queens

On a weekend trip, Doug and Carrie discover that Deacon and Kelly have a much more active sex life.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

Roamin' Holiday

The King of Queens

Doug invites Spence to move in as part of a plan to keep Carrie's annoying friends from spending a weekend.

TV-PG

10 AM

I, Candy

The King of Queens

Doug's self-esteem gets a boost when a waitress flirts with him.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

Sparing Carrie

The King of Queens

Doug's bowling team must win a match or else fire Carrie.

TV-PG

11 AM

Flush of Genius

The Cleveland Show

Cleveland attempts to make toilet seats safer; Rallo thinks he's tall enough to ride his favorite rollercoaster.

TV-14

11:30 AM

Mama Drama

The Cleveland Show

As Mother's Day approaches, Cleveland hires an actress to impersonate Dee Dee, Donna's estranged mother.

TV-14

12 PM

Finances with Wolves

American Dad

Stan gets a hefty bonus at work and uses it on himself, while Francine opens a muffin shop without Stan's approval. Now without a housewife at home, Stan puts Klaus's brain back into a human body. Meanwhile, Steve is convinced he's becoming a werewolf.

TV-14

12:30 PM

It's Good to Be Queen

American Dad

Stan seeks revenge for being the focus of a prank during his high school years by showing off that he married Francine, who was the homecoming queen. However, when her title is revealed to be a mistake, Stan's pride gets the best of him and goes out with the real queen.

TV-14

1 PM

Roger N' Me

American Dad

When Stan goes to Atlantic City for a bachelor party and is shunned by his so-called best friend, Roger steps in and becomes Stan's new sidekick. Their friendship goes to a whole new level, but when they return home and face Francine, Stan realizes that what happens in Atlantic City doesn't necessarily stay there.

TV-14

1:30 PM

Helping Handis

American Dad

Stan wants Steve to be popular and goes to desperate measures by giving him steroids to make him bigger, better, and part of the in-crowd at school. But when the steroids have an unexpected side effect, Steve gets more attention than anyone expected.

TV-14

2 PM

He's Too Sexy For His Fat (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter talks himself into getting liposuction and other plastic surgery.

TV-14

2:30 PM

E Peterbus Unum (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter declares his land a country and makes himself president.

TV-14

3 PM

Jess & Julia

New Girl

Nick panics when Julia doesn't want to put a label on their relationship. Meanwhile, Jess enlists Julia to help her get out of a traffic ticket, Winston reconnects with a former booty call, and Schmidt is baffled as to why his shower towel is always damp.

TV-14

3:30 PM

The Landlord

New Girl

Jess goes against Nick's wishes and makes it her mission to get the loft's cantankerous landlord to like her. In doing so, she inadvertently jeopardizes their living situation and the guys are forced to admit they've made some unofficial changes to the apartment. Meanwhile, Schmidt tries to decipher what he thinks are mixed signals from his boss, Kim.

TV-14

4 PM

The One With All The Cheesecakes (SAP)

Friends

Phoebe's former boyfriend returns for one night only, but Joey could ruin their plans. Monica plots revenge on her cousin's wedding day.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The One Where They're Up All Night (SAP)

Friends

Monica falls asleep during sex. Rachel argues with Tag (EDDIE CAHILL). Ross and Joey get stranded on the roof.

TV-PG

5 PM

The One Where Rosita Dies (SAP)

Friends

Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker (JASON ALEXANDER). Rachel breaks Joey's favorite chair. Monica's beloved childhood belongings are destroyed.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

The One Where They All Turn Thirty (SAP)

Friends

Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th birthdays.

TV-PG

6 PM

The Bookstore

Seinfeld

George hopes to meet women at a bookstore where Jerry spots Uncle Leo shoplifting.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

The Frogger

Seinfeld

Elaine eats Peterman's cake; Kramer helps George steal an arcade game.

TV-PG

7 PM

The Clip Show, Part 1

Seinfeld

Clips highlight the show's past nine seasons.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

The Clip Show (Part II)

Seinfeld

Clips highlight the show's past nine seasons.

TV-PG

8 PM

The Table Polarization (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Leonard's purchase of a dining-room table for the apartment doesn't sit well with Sheldon, so much so that it forces him to reevaluate his life. Meanwhile, Bernadette isn't quite over the moon about Howard taking another trip to space.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

The Friendship Turbulence (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Things turn rocky between Sheldon and Wolowitz after a barrage of insults, and Bernadette steps in to mediate a peace. Meanwhile, Penny is offered a movie role that may prove embarrassing.

TV-PG

9 PM

The Mommy Observation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

While Sheldon and Howard continue their bonding holiday to Houston Texas; Sheldon's surprise visit to see his Mommy forces him to start addressing a new reality. Meanwhile the rest of the gang are subjected to a surprise Koothrappali "Murder Mystery" party that leads the gang to speculate where they might all be 20 years from now.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

The Indecision Amalgamation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Raj wrestles with dating two women at the same time; Penny is offered a part in a trashy movie; and Sheldon can't decide between two gaming systems.

TV-PG

10 PM

The Relationship Diremption (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Raj and Howard double-date and the latter is flushed with embarrassment after Raj's girlfriend reveals a secret she knows about Howard. Meanwhile, Sheldon is at loose ends when he begins to believe he's wasted his life trying to prove string theory.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Episode 1024

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

TV-MA

11 PM

September 28, 2016

Conan

Guests: Ted Danson, Phoebe Robinson.

TV-14

Thursday, Sep 29
12 AM

And the Move-in Meltdown (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max, Caroline, Earl and Han help Oleg move into Sophie's apartment, until she begins turning away all of his stuff.

TV-14

12:30 AM

September 28, 2016

Conan

Guests: Ted Danson, Phoebe Robinson.

TV-14

1:30 AM

I Won't Back Down (SAP)

Cougar Town

TV-PG

2 AM

The Last Boy Scout

A former Secret Service agent teams up with a former pro-football star to solve the mysterious murder of his girlfriend.

TV-14

4 AM

AFHV #2306

America's Funniest Home Videos

AFV's 500th episode

TV-G

5 AM

Naughty but Niece

Married with Children

Bud is distracted by Marcy's sexy niece.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Business Sucks (1)

Married with Children

Al refuses to allow breast feeding in the shoe store.

TV-PG

6 AM

Business Still Sucks (2)

Married with Children

Al's battle against breast feeding lands him in trouble with the store's owner.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

Dial "B" for Virgin

Married with Children

Bud is tapped to run a phone hot line for virgins.

TV-PG

7 AM

Sleepless in Chicago

Married with Children

Al must sleep with Marcy so that Jefferson can cash in her valuable Barbie doll.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

No Pot to Pease In

Married with Children

The Bundys and D'Arcys discover a new TV show modeled after their lives.

TV-PG

8 AM

Dud Bowl

Married with Children

Al reunites his old high school football team to play the championship game that never was.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

A Man for No Seasons

Married with Children

Al and his friends decide to remedy the professional baseball strike themselves.

TV-PG

9 AM

Net Prophets

The King of Queens

Carrie insists on using her Christmas bonus to invest in Internet stock.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

Block Buster

The King of Queens

Doug's memories of his glory days as a football player don't match those of his old teammates.

TV-PG

10 AM

Frozen Pop

The King of Queens

Arthur moves into the upstairs bedroom when cold weather forces him out of the basement.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

Party Favor

The King of Queens

Carrie convinces Doug to be the best man for his cousin, and helps him organize the bachelor party.

TV-PG

11 AM

All You Can Eat

The Cleveland Show

After undergoing a stylish makeover, Cleveland Junior asks a girl to accompany him to the school prom. Mistakenly believing that Junior is a lesbian like her, the girl accepts.

TV-14

11:30 AM

Escape From Goochland

The Cleveland Show

As Halloween approaches...Cleveland and his friends attended a rival high school's football game, only to find themselves stranded in enemy territory; Donna's sexy Halloween costume gets her into trouble with the police; Roberta and Junior dress up as Cleveland and Donna.

TV-14

12 PM

With Friends Like Steve's

American Dad

After Steve shows a lack of interest in Stan's job, Stan replaces him with Barry, Steve's obese friend, who is in fact malicious (without his medication) and plots to replace Steve completely. Meanwhile, Roger does an impressive keg stand and becomes a fraternity brother.

TV-14

12:30 PM

Tears Of A Clooney

American Dad

Francine is feeling depressed as another birthday comes around. In an effort to cheer her up, Stan helps Francine hatch a plan to break George Clooney's heart. Meanwhile, Roger adopts a bunch of orphans to help work his vineyard.

TV-14

1 PM

Camp Refoogee

American Dad

Stan tries to get Steve to attend summer camp; the only one he can find, however, turns out to be a refugee camp in Africa. Meanwhile, Roger and Francine take up role-playing, though they can't come up with a mutual backstory.

TV-14

1:30 PM

The American Dad After School Special

American Dad

Steve starts dating an overweight girl. Stan's insecurity about his own body image leads him to anorexia.

TV-14

2 PM

The Story on Page One (DVS)

Family Guy

Meg writes for the school paper to improve her Ivy League chances.

TV-14

2:30 PM

Wasted Talent (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter and his friends go on a drinking binge to find a winning ticket in a bottle; Lois works Ling too hard for a competition.

TV-14

3 PM

Valentine's Day

New Girl

Single for the first time on Valentine's Day, Jess convinces Schmidt to be her wingman as she attempts to have an attachment-free fling with a handsome stranger. Nick's romantic plans are foiled when he finds himself spending more time with Julia's law firm assistant than with her. Winston becomes one of the girls when Shelby invites him over on the holiday.

TV-14

3:30 PM

Bully

New Girl

When Jess tries to intervene with a classroom bully she finds herself the target of the bad seed student. Schmidt, meanwhile, is thrilled over his post-Valentine's sex-capades, but hates that his paramour wants to keep it a secret. Meanwhile, Nick goes into a tailspin when Julia sends him a cactus.

TV-14

4 PM

The One With Joey's New Brain (SAP)

Friends

Joey's character on a daytime drama becomes more prominent to the chagrin of the show's diva star (SUSAN SARANDON). Phoebe and Rachel argue over who should return a sexy man's misplaced cell phone to him.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The One With The Truth About London (SAP)

Friends

Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is furious after Rachel teaches Ben (COLE MITCHELL SPROUSE) practical jokes.

TV-PG

5 PM

The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress (SAP)

Friends

Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Ross and Joey compete for the same woman.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

The One With Joey's Award (SAP)

Friends

Joey overreacts at a daytime drama awards show. Daytime drama actresses McKENZIE WESTMORE and ALISON SWEENEY guest star.

TV-PG

6 PM

The Maid

Seinfeld

Jerry begins a relationship with his maid (Angela Featherstone); George wants a nickname.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

The Finale (Part I)

Seinfeld

After NBC picks up Jerry and George's sitcom, the four pals are arrested for breaking the good Samaritan law.

TV-PG

7 PM

The Finale (Part II)

Seinfeld

After NBC picks up Jerry and George's sitcom, the four pals are arrested for breaking the good Samaritan law.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

The Bubble Boy

Seinfeld

Jerry gets lost en route to visiting a sickly fan; guest Jessica Lundy.

TV-PG

8 PM

And the Crime Ring (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline are arrested for breaking into a cute guy's apartment to retrieve some rings Caroline left there after she spent the night.

TV-14

8:30 PM

And the Knock Off Knockout (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline get into a legal battle with two teens who knocked off their cupcake T-shirts and sold them.

TV-14

9 PM

The Proton Transmogrification (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

A grief-stricken Sheldon receives counseling from his childhood TV idol, Professor Proton (Bob Newhart), while Penny and Leonard reach a relationship milestone and turn it into a competition and Bernadette and Amy turn "Star Wars Day" into a special event for the guys.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

The Gorilla Dissolution (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

A trying day at the movie shoot leaves Penny with questions about her life choices, so she decides to act on it; and caring for a bedridden Mrs. Wolowitz proves a challenge for Howard and Bernadette.

TV-PG

10 PM

The Status Quo Combustion (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

In the Season 7 finale, Sheldon gets caught up in all the life-altering changes going on around him and considers a monumental move.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

The Locomotion Interruption (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

In the Season 8 premiere, Amy and Leonard take a surprise road trip to Arizona, while Penny goes on a job interview at Bernadette's company, and Howard has problems wrapping his head around Stuart's relationship with Mrs. Wolowitz.

TV-PG

11 PM

September 29, 2016

Conan

Guests: Ozzy & Jack Osbourne, Dylan Moran.

TV-14

Friday, Sep 30
12 AM

And the Great Unwashed (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline learn that one of their customers at the diner is a successful photographer who is keeping a secret.

TV-14

12:30 AM

September 29, 2016

Conan

Guests: Ozzy & Jack Osbourne, Dylan Moran.

TV-14

1:30 AM

You Wreck Me (SAP)

Cougar Town

TV-PG

2 AM

Miracle

In 1980, the United States ice hockey team's coach, Herb Brooks, took a ragtag squad of college kids up against the legendary juggernaut from the Soviet Union at the Olympic Games. Despite long odds and with the world watching, Team USA rose to the occasion.

TV-PG

5 AM

AFHV #2307

America's Funniest Home Videos

The first 6 nominees of the season battle it out to win the $100,000

TV-G

6 AM

The Naked and the Dead, but Mostly the Naked

Married with Children

Al and his friends are forced to take their wives to a strip club.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

I Want My Psycho Dad (1)

Married with Children

Al protests the cancellation of his favorite TV show.

TV-PG

7 AM

I Want My Psycho Dad (2)

Married with Children

The "NO MA'AM" men take their Psycho Dad protest to Washington, D.C.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

Kelly Takes a Shot

Married with Children

Bud helps Kelly with a commercial audition to prove himself to Marcy's niece.

TV-PG

8 AM

Something Larry This Way Comes

Married with Children

Al goes out of his way to help Kelly and meet his TV idol, Larry Storch.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

Get the Dodge Outta Hell

Married with Children

Al's Dodge goes into the car wash, but doesn't come out.

TV-PG

9 AM

Fair Game

The King of Queens

Doug catches Carrie cheating while playing board games with friends.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

The Shmenkmans

The King of Queens

Doug and Carrie search for new friends, who do not have children.

TV-PG

10 AM

Meet By-Product

The King of Queens

St. Valentine's Day finds Doug and Carrie reminiscing about the first time they met.

TV-14

10:30 AM

Wild Cards

The King of Queens

Doug hides his losing trip to Atlantic City from Carrie.

TV-PG

11 AM

Surprise Artie

The King of Queens

Carrie's surprise birthday party for Arthur is ruined when Doug loses the guest of honor.

TV-PG

11:30 AM

Menace II Secret Society

The Cleveland Show

Cleveland discovers the existence of a secret hip hop society after Kenny West refuses to share credit for a hit song they wrote together; Junior starts his own polka band.

TV-14

12 PM

A General Thanksgiving Episode

The Cleveland Show

As Thanksgiving approaches...Cleveland opens a bar at the airport; Holt and his estranged father bond when Cleveland becomes trapped on a pilotless airplane.

TV-14

12:30 PM

Failure Is Not A Factory-Installed Option

American Dad

Stan loses his confidence, and his job, when a car salesman gets the best of him in a negotiation. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve set up a makeshift drive-in to try to get to first base with popular schoolgirls.

TV-14

1 PM

Lincoln Lover (DVS)

American Dad

Greg introduces Stan to the Langley Falls Log Cabin Republicans. Only after Stan is taken with their fabulous ways does he realize that it's a gay group. To gain further acceptance into this wonderful group, Stan decides to become gay. Meanwhile, Terry is furious to discover Greg is a Republican.

TV-14

1:30 PM

Dungeons and Wagons

American Dad

Stan gets mixed up in street racing to put some excitement back in his marriage. After Hayley breaks up with Jeff Fischer, Jeff becomes video game pals with Steve. In an attempt to get Jeff back, Hayley kills Steve's beloved video game character.

TV-14

2 PM

Iced, Iced Babies

American Dad

With Steve busy with his girlfriend, Francine decides she wants another baby. Stan, however, does not, so he secretly gets a vasectomy. But Francine discovers he still has sperm left in a CIA sperm bank. Meanwhile, Roger becomes a professor at Hayley's community college and earns the adoration of a psycho student.

TV-14

2:30 PM

Fore Father (DVS)

Family Guy

Chris gets a job picking up golf balls; Peter ignores Chris in favor of Cleveland Jr.

TV-14

3 PM

Injured

New Girl

When Nick is hurt playing a game of touch football and Jess discovers he doesn't have insurance, she brings him to her doctor friend - an OB/GYN. The gang rallies together and Nick evaluates his life when his seemingly innocuous back injury may prove to be more serious than he thought.

TV-14

3:30 PM

Control

New Girl

After Jess realizes that Schmidt is unfairly doing all of the housework, she pushes him to go on strike, and the entire ecosystem of the loft is thrown off balance. Meanwhile, Nick scrambles when he must pay up to Winston after losing a poker game.

TV-14

4 PM

The One With Ross and Monica's Cousin (SAP)

Friends

Monica's gorgeous cousin (DENISE RICHARDS) unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross. Rachel and Phoebe hastily plan a surprise bridal party for Monica.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The One With Rachel's Big Kiss (SAP)

Friends

Rachel reveals a titillating secret about her and a former sorority sister (WINONA RYDER). Ross and Chandler compete for wedding tuxedos.

TV-PG

5 PM

The One with the Vows (SAP)

Friends

As Monica and Chandler prepare their wedding vows, they and their friends reminisce. The episode features numerous clips from previous shows.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

The One With Chandler's Dad (SAP)

Friends

Chandler confronts his estranged cross-dressing father (KATHLEEN TURNER). Rachel gets into trouble driving Monica's Porsche. ALEXIS ARQUETTE guest stars.

TV-PG

6 PM

The Cheever Letters

Seinfeld

Jerry and George work on their pilot script.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

The Opera

Seinfeld

Unaware her beau is a mad stalker, Jerry takes Elaine to the opera.

TV-PG

7 PM

The Virgin

Seinfeld

Hours before a network meeting, Jerry and George draw a blank; guest Jane Leeves.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

The Contest

Seinfeld

Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine vie at self-denial; guests Estelle Harris, Jane Leeves.

TV-PG

8 PM

Sexy Dance Fighting (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

When Tina develops a crush on the new martial arts instructor in town, she joins the class and ends up shirking her responsibilities at the restaurant. Bob finds out what's going on and decides to take matters into his own hands.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

Hamburger Dinner Theater (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Bob reluctantly lets Linda and the kids stage a musical murder mystery dinner theater in the restaurant, but on opening night, an abrupt interruption changes the play's creative direction.

TV-PG

9 PM

The Junior Professor Solution (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon is ordered to teach a class, and the gang is surprised when Howard signs up to take it; and tensions between Penny and Bernadette afford Amy an opportunity to play one against the other.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

The First Pitch Insufficiency (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

A nervous Wolowitz is thrown for a loop when NASA asks him to toss out the first pitch at a Los Angeles Angels baseball game. Meanwhile, Sheldon brags that he and Amy are a better couple than Leonard and Penny.

TV-PG

10 PM

Overwatch Open Grand Final

ELEAGUE

Saturday, Oct 1
12 AM

The House Bunny

When Playboy Bunny Shelley Darlington gets tossed out of the Playboy Mansion, fate delivers her to Zeta Alpha Zeta. The sorority girls need Shelley to teach them about makeup and men, and Shelley needs some of the Zetas' sense of individuality. The combination leads all of them to learn how to start being themselves.

TV-14

2 AM

Hope Springs

Decades of marriage have left Kay wanting to spice things up with her husband, Arnold. When she hears of a renowned couple's specialist in Hope Springs, she persuades him to go. The challenge comes as they shed their bedroom hang-ups and try to re-ignite the spark that caused them to fall for each other.

TV-14

4 AM

AFHV #2308

America's Funniest Home Videos

The grumpy little dogs and practical jokes that backfired

TV-G

5 AM

25 Years and What Do You Get?

Married with Children

Al and Peggy plans and good intentions or their 25th wedding anniversary are upset.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

And Bingo was Her Game-O

Married with Children

Peggy wins $10,000 playing Bingo. Meanwhile, NO MA'AM chooses their official beer.

TV-PG

6 AM

The Dog

Seinfeld

Jerry gets stuck sitting for an unruly dog.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

The Library

Seinfeld

The library asks Jerry about a book overdue since 1971.

TV-PG

7 AM

The Pen

Seinfeld

Jerry accepts a gift his parents wanted him to refuse.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

The Parking Garage

Seinfeld

Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer lose their car in a mall parking garage.

TV-PG

8 AM

The Cafe

Seinfeld

Jerry tries to help the owner of a deserted neighborhood cafe.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (DVS)

Formerly the fastest man on four wheels, NASCAR legend Ricky Bobby must kick some serious asphalt if he's to get his career back on the track, beat his Eurotrash rival and reclaim his fame and fortune.

TV-14

10:30 AM

Wedding Crashers (DVS)

When John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey infiltrate the wedding of Treasury Secretary William Cleary's daughter, they set their sights on Claire and Gloria Cleary. An invitation to an extended weekend party at the Cleary family compound leads John and Jeremy to learn a few unexpected lessons about love and relationships.

TV-14

1 PM

The Campaign (DVS)

When congressman Cam Brady commits a major, public faux pas before an election, two wealthy CEOs put up their own candidate. At first, Marty Huggins is an improbable choice, but with the help of his backers, a ruthless campaign manager and his family's political connections, he soon becomes a real threat.

TV-14

3 PM

The One With Monica And Chandler's Wedding, Part I (SAP)

Friends

On the eve of the wedding, Ross searches for missing Chandler, who has doubts, while the girls distract unsuspecting Monica.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

The One With Monica And Chandler's Wedding, Part II (SAP)

Friends

Monica remains blissfully unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day. ELLIOTT GOULD, CHRISTINA PICKLES, MORGAN FAIRCHILD, GARY OLDMAN and KATHLEEN TURNER guest star.

TV-PG

4 PM

The One After "I Do" (SAP)

Friends

The reception following Monica and Chandler's wedding is almost upstaged by the news that a member of the group might be pregnant.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

The One With The Red Sweater (SAP)

Friends

Rachel debates whether she should break the news to her baby's father.

TV-PG

5 PM

And the Cupcake Captives (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Sophie's wedding is interrupted by a hostage situation. Meanwhile, Max and Caroline's cupcake business gets some unwanted attention when a tenant who is wearing one of their company's T-shirts is arrested.

TV-14

5:30 PM

And the Fat Cat (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline's missing cat, Nancy, is returned by a handsome businessman; and Nancy comes home with a big surprise.

TV-14

6 PM

And the Zero Tolerance (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline get second jobs as a pastry chef and a hostess at a trendy restaurant to help pay off their bank loan.

TV-14

6:30 PM

And the High Hook-Up (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max pursues a handsome new coworker at the restaurant, despite the owner's "no hook-up" rule.

TV-14

7 PM

And the Taste Test (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Sophie takes Max and Caroline shopping for their bridesmaid dresses, so the girls enlist the diner gang's help to hide the most hideous ones to avoid being utterly humiliated.

TV-14

7:30 PM

The Anything Can Happen Recurrence (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Leonard reinstates "Anything Can Happen Thursday," and it leads the regimented Sheldon to attempt something spontaneous, which creates friction among Penny, Amy, and Bernadette. Meanwhile, Raj requests help from Howard in prepping for a date with Emily.

TV-PG

8 PM

The Hook-Up Reverberation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Raj's girlfriend, Emily, gives Penny the cold shoulder after he reveals some info about their past history; and the guys contemplate buying into Stuart's comic-book emporium.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

The Focus Attenuation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Amy and Bernadette accuse former party girl Penny of becoming a party pooper when she lets an email from work impact their girls' weekend in Las Vegas. Meanwhile, the guys brainstorm about inventing something cool.

TV-14

9 PM

The Expedition Approximation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon and Raj undertake an underground research expedition that turns into a test of how long before they get under each other's skin. Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny argue about money.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

The Prom Equivalency (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Amy and Bernadette organize a prom to be held atop the guys' apartment complex, but Sheldon is leery of all the prom pomp, circumstance and romancing that goes with it.

TV-PG

10 PM

Misinterpretation Agitation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Penny's flirtatious sales pitch leaves a doctor-client smitten and the guys must pitch in to help her deal with him, while, Bernadette and Amy debate whether female scientists ought to play the sexuality card.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

The Septum Deviation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Leonard needs surgery for a deviated septum, and Sheldon gets his nose out of joint because he feels an operation is too dangerous and that his roommate may not make it out alive.

TV-PG

11 PM

Episode 1024

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

TV-MA

11:30 PM

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (DVS)

Formerly the fastest man on four wheels, NASCAR legend Ricky Bobby must kick some serious asphalt if he's to get his career back on the track, beat his Eurotrash rival and reclaim his fame and fortune.

TV-14

Sunday, Oct 2
1:30 AM

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (DVS)

Ron Burgundy is the top-rated anchorman in San Diego in the 1970s. When feminism marches into the newsroom in the form of ambitious newswoman Veronica Corningstone, Ron is willing to play along -- as long as Veronica stays in her place. But when she refuses to settle and steps behind the news desk, it's war.

TV-14

3:30 AM

Blades of Glory (DVS)

Figure skaters Chazz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy take their intense rivalry too far and end up being banned from competition after a nasty brawl. After several years out of the public eye, the men decide to exploit a loophole that allows them to compete as a pair.

TV-14

5:30 AM

The Undergraduate

Married with Children

A twelve year old boy with a crush on Kelly gets her to go to his junior prom with him.

TV-PG

6 AM

User Friendly

Married with Children

While Al and his friends tries to find out what a light switch in the Bundy house do, Bud experiences cyber sex... with Amber.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

The Tape

Seinfeld

Elaine puts an erotic message on Jerry's tape recorder; George gets excited.

TV-PG

7 AM

The Nose Job

Seinfeld

Jerry reconsiders dating a vacuous actress (Tawny Kitaen); George dates a woman with a big nose.

TV-PG

7:30 AM

The Alternate Side

Seinfeld

Elaine dumps a 66-year-old, who then has a heart attack.

TV-PG

8 AM

The Red Dot

Seinfeld

Elaine's alcoholic boyfriend resumes drinking; Jerry is the unwitting cause.

TV-PG

8:30 AM

The One Where Rachel Tells ... (SAP)

Friends

The real father of Rachel's baby is revealed; Monica and Chandler struggle to make their honeymoon flight.

TV-14

9 AM

The One With The Videotape (SAP)

Friends

Ross reveals that he videotaped a sexual encounter between Rachel and him.

TV-PG

9:30 AM

The One With Rachel's Date (SAP)

Friends

Ross is horrified when Rachel goes on a date with a soap-opera star (Johnny Messner); Phoebe is attracted to a clumsy chef whom Monica wants to fire.

TV-PG

10 AM

The One With The Stain (SAP)

Friends

Rachel wants to find her own apartment; Phoebe is ecstatic when Eric (Sean Penn) dumps Ursula to date her.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

Shrek 2 (DVS)

After battling a fire-breathing dragon and the evil Lord Farquaad to win the hand of Princess Fiona, Shrek now faces his greatest challenge: the in-laws.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Shrek the Third (DVS)

After King Harold croaks, Shrek sets off on a quest to find the only other possible heir to the throne, Fiona's cousin Artie. Meanwhile, Prince Charming returns with redemption on his mind. It's going to take an ogre-sized effort -- and help from Fiona and the princesses -- for Shrek and Artie to save the day.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

MLB Pre-Game

MLB

3 PM

Game 13

MLB

6 PM

And the Minor Problem (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline's attempt to break Nash into the modeling business is threatened when his mother arrives from Ireland to retrieve her son.

TV-14

6:30 PM

And the Grate Expectations (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline help launch the opening of The High's new location at JFK airport. Meanwhile, Sophie learns that Oleg may have an ulterior motive for wanting to marry her.

TV-14

7 PM

And the Disappointing Unit (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Season 4 ends with Max and Caroline tasked with retrieving Sophie's wedding dress from airport customs and safely transporting it to the church in time for the nuptials.

TV-14

7:30 PM

And the Wrecking Ball (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Season 5 begins with Max and Caroline teaming up with the diner staff in a frantic attempt to keep their businesses open when the city targets Han's diner and their cupcake window for destruction.

TV-14

8 PM

The Champagne Reflection (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

It's a banner day for Sheldon as he bids a sad farewell to his "Fun With Flags" podcast. Meanwhile, Leonard, Howard and Raj probe a late professor's research in search of some hidden significance.

TV-PG

8:30 PM

The Clean Room Infiltration (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

On Christmas Eve, Amy plans a traditional Victorian dinner, while Raj, Leonard and Howard scramble to remove a pigeon that flew into the clean room at the university.

TV-PG

9 PM

The Space Probe Disintegration (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

While Raj eagerly awaits data from a space probe in which he was involved, Howard keeps distracting him. Later, dress shopping with Penny and Amy doesn't exactly prove to be a good fit for Leonard and Sheldon.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

The Anxiety Optimization (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon becomes concerned that his cushy lifestyle is impacting his professional progress and keeping him from achieving scientific renown, so he asks the gang to make life more difficult for him.

TV-PG

10 PM

The Troll Manifestation (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

An online troll rips Leonard and Sheldon's published physics paper, so the guys rally to defend the two and expose the bully, while a girls night out leads to Penny, Amy and Bernadette dishing about embarrassing past events.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

The Comic Book Store Regeneration (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

Amid the excitement of Stuart reopening his comic-book store, Howard gets some unsettling news; and after teaching Sheldon how to "let it go," Penny doesn't practice what she preaches when she learns something maddening about Amy.

TV-PG

11 PM

The Intimacy Acceleration (DVS)

The Big Bang Theory

An experiment designed to make participants fall in love piques Penny and Leonard's interest, so they decide to put it to the test. Meanwhile, Leonard, Amy, Raj and Emily have an encounter with a "zombie".

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Shrek 2 (DVS)

After battling a fire-breathing dragon and the evil Lord Farquaad to win the hand of Princess Fiona, Shrek now faces his greatest challenge: the in-laws.

TV-PG