When Tina develops a crush on the new martial arts instructor in town, she joins the class and ends up shirking her responsibilities at the restaurant. Bob finds out what's going on and decides to take matters into his own hands.
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Bob's hero, a washed-up professional baseball player named Torpedo Jones, starts pitching for the local minor league team. Torpedo befriends the Belcher's, and Bob is ecstatic until he finds out about the dark underbelly of baseball.
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The kids con their way out of gym class with a bogus synchronized swimming independent study. Meanwhile, Bob welcomes a new soft serve ice cream machine to the restaurant.
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After Gene loses his confidence at his baseball game, Linda decides to sign him up for baseball camp. The only problem is, she needs money to pay for it! Meanwhile, Tina discovers her love for espresso and becomes a caffeine addict.
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To compete with fellow "restaurateur" Jimmy Pesto, and his blowout Super Bowl event, Bob is determined to create a Bob's Burgers commercial to air during the big game.
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Frond Files, The: Bob and Linda visit the school and learn that their kids' essays about their fantasy version of Wagstaff are "too creative" and "offensive."
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Tina decides to try out for the cheerleading squad but it's Gene who gets noticed for his spirit. During her cheer audition, Tina falls and bites her tongue, leaving her unable to speak and Louise steps up to be her translator.
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When a new playground game is introduced, the school's social hierarchy is turned upside-down and Gene disapproves. Meanwhile, Linda fills in for the local library storyteller and pulls out all the stops to perfect her storyteller persona.
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After forgetting that they signed up Louise for a soccer league, the Belchers must help her prepare to play in the season's last game. Linda and Gene seize the opportunity to turn the restaurant into a piano bar.
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