" Never Talk to Strangers" Spanish Beefcake

Even if you're not rich and famous like Antonio Banderas, you still deserve to eat well. This succulent beef dish will satisfy your meaty desires!

You will need:

  • 1 teaspoon minced fresh oregano
  • 1 teaspoon minced fresh thyme
  • 2 tablespoons minced parsley
  • 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper
  • 1 pinch saffron threads (optional)
  • 2 cloves garlic, peeled and mashed with a fork
  • 4 tablespoon red wine
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 1 pound beef filet, sliced into matchstick-sized pieces
  • 2 red bell peppers, thinly sliced
  • 2 green bell peppers, thinly sliced
  • 1 large red onion, thinly sliced
  • 2 tablespoons sherry vinegar or balsamic vinegar
  • sea salt and fresh ground pepper
  • 1 large tomato, peeled, seeded, and chopped (or 1/2 cup canned)
  • 2 tablespoons sweet Spanish paprika
  • 2 tablespoons finely chopped prosciutto
  • 10 Spanish green olives, pitted and sliced
  • 3 eggs, hard-boiled and sliced
  • 1-2 lbs. of your favorite pizza dough
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon turmeric
  • 1 pair tight jeans and an irresistibly sexy accent


1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine the oregano, thyme, parsley, crushed red pepper, saffron, and garlic. Add the wine and 1 tablespoon of the olive oil. Mix the sliced meat in with the seasoning mixture, tossing to coat evenly. Cover and refrigerate at least 30 minutes and up to 2 hours.

2. In a large bowl, toss the sliced peppers and onion with the vinegar and 1 tablespoon of the olive oil. Transfer to a cookie sheet, season with salt and pepper and roast 30 minutes.

3. Heat the remaining oil in a large saute pan over medium heat. Drain the marinade from the meat and saute briefly until the meat is no longer pink, but not yet fully cooked. Remove meat from pan and set aside.

4. Add the chopped tomato, paprika, and any remaining marinade to the hot pan. Cook 5 minutes, then remove from heat and stir in the roasted vegetables, prosciutto, and the half-cooked beef filet. Check and adjust seasonings and set aside to cool to room temperature.

5. Divide the dough in two and roll out each half into a 15-inch disc. Place one disc on a parchment-covered cookie sheet and spread the cooled filling over the top, leaving an uncovered border of least an inch around the edges. Place the egg slices and olives evenly over the top. Cover with the second disc and pinch the edges together. Whisk the turmeric and egg together and brush the top and sides lightly with the mixture.

6. Reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees F and bake 30-40 minutes until crust is golden brown. Serve warm or at room temperature. (Alternatively, you may make small empanadas, turnover style, and deep-fry until crisp.)

7. After dinner, when safely alone, slip into your tightest black leather gloves, put on "Revels Bolero" and let those naughty dishes know who's boss.

Serves 8 as an appetizer or 4 as a main course

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