Directions:

Cheese Fondue: 1. Chop the cheese into small pieces then toss with the flour and set aside.

2. Slice the garlic in half; rub inside of your fondue pot, first with the cut sides of garlic, then the butter.

3. Place the pot over medium heat; add the champagne and heat until just barely boiling.

4. Add the floured cheese a handful at a time, stirring with a wooden spoon after each addition.

5. When the cheese is melted and creamy, add the white pepper, cayenne, nutmeg, and lemon zest. Stir in the kirsch just prior to serving.

Chocolate Fondue:
1. Bring the cream to a simmer in the fondue pot. Add the chopped chocolate and stir until melted; then stir in the nuts and orange liquor.

2. Instruct your guests to spear the bread cubes, fruit, and ladyfingers with fondue forks or skewers. Swirl bread in the melted cheese; dunk fruit and ladyfingers in chocolate. Attempt to eat.

3. If said bread or fruit drops into fondue pot, remind guests that fondue etiquette requires them to either kiss or "shag" the person to their left.

4. Remind guests that, if shagging the guest to their left isn't their bag, they can opt to fondue the dishes.

Serves 4-6