" Burglar" Whoopi's Combination Lox & Bagel

Smoked salmon is the "steal" of the day on Dinner & A Movie, as we feature a Goldberg family tradition. (We didn't say which Goldberg family.) If you've never smoked a fish in the comfort of your own home, you have no idea what you are missing. Throw some lox on a bagel, and you have breakfast, lunch, or any kosher dinner. Then sneak off like a thief in the night...

You will need:

  • 1/2 cup kosher salt
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1 tablespoon juniper berries
  • 1 tablespoon fresh-cracked black pepper
  • 1/2 cup chopped fresh dill
  • zest of 1 lemon
  • 2 ounces gin
  • 4 six oz. salmon filets
  • 1/4 cup each: hickory chips, raw brown rice and brown sugar
  • 4 bagels
  • miscellaneous garnishes: tomatoes, cream cheese, onions, cucumber
  • 1 airtight alibi


1. In a small mixing bowl, combine kosher salt, sugar, juniper berries, cracked black pepper, chopped dill, and lemon zest.

2. Rub the salt mixture evenly over both sides of the salmon filets, sprinkle with gin, cover, and refrigerate 30 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, place the wood chips in a small bowl and cover with hot water and soak at least 10 minutes. Line a large, heavy pot that has a tight-fitting lid with aluminum foil.

4. Place the soaked wood chips, brown rice, and brown sugar in the pot; lightly oil a wire rack and set it inside the pot, over the chips.

5. Scrape off all excess salt mixture from the salmon and arrange the filets on the oiled rack. Cover the pot tightly and place over medium-high heat.

6. When the pot begins to smoke, reduce the heat to medium and continue smoking another 10-15 minutes, or until firm to the touch. Serve warm or cold with all the trimmings.

7. Criminally ingenious clean-up tip: Make sure to insure all of your dishes, and then arrange to have them conveniently stolen immediately after dinner. "Help, police, I've been robbed!"

Serves 4

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