Eat like a king when you cook up this multiple-course feast. It contains something from each food group: meat, vegetables, fish, and brown goo!

Ingredients:

Shrimp cocktail:

• 2 pounds cooked and chilled bay shrimp
• 1 cup ketchup
• 1 tablespoon horseradish
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• salt and pepper to taste

Brown goo (or goux, if you prefer the French)

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1/2 cup finely diced onion
• 2 tablespoons chopped garlic
• 1/2 cup dry red wine
• 3 tablespoons brandy
• 2 cups beef stock
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1/2 cup water
• salt and pepper to taste

Meatballs

• 1 cup white bread cubes
• 1/4 cup buttermilk
• 1 pound ground meat (chuck, pork, lamb, or any mixture)
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon garlic
• 1 tablespoon chopped parsley
• 1 teaspoon each salt and pepper
• vegetable oil, for frying

Mashed potatoes:

• 3 pounds russet or Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cut into 2-3 inch chunks
• 1 cup whole milk, scalded
• 2 ounces butter
• salt and pepper to taste

Green bean amandine:

• 3 cups green beans, washed and trimmed
• 1-1/2 tablespoon butter
• 1/2 cup sliced almonds
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1 white sequined jumpsuit with matching parachute

Directions:

1. Time for cocktails! Mix all dressing ingredients and smother shrimp. Eat before goo.

2. Make the brown goo (with suspicious wines): Combine olive oil and butter in a very large saucepan over medium heat. Add the onions and garlic and saute until very lightly browned, about 10 minutes.

Add the wine, brandy and stock; raise the heat to high and bring to a boil. Allow to boil until volume is reduced by half.

Combine the cornstarch and water and whisk into the boiling reduction a little at a time until the goo reaches the desired thickness. Season with salt and pepper. Keep warm until a need for brown goo arises.

3. Meatballs: In a large bowl, pour the buttermilk over the bread cubes and let sit until soggy. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Form into ball size of choice and fry over medium-high heat for at least 10 minutes, until all sides are brown. Serve with brown goo.

4. Do the mashed potato: In a large pot, cover the potatoes with cold, lightly salted water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and cook for 15-20 minutes or until softened.

5. Drain the potatoes and mash by hand or force through a potato ricer and return to the hot pot. Whip in the scalded milk and butter with a wooden spoon and season to taste and serve with brown goo.

6. Green beans: Blanch green beans in lightly salted boiling water until tender, but still a little crisp. Rinse with cold water to stop cooking, drain and set aside. Heat the butter in a saute pan over medium-high heat and add the sliced almonds; toast almonds in the butter for 1 minute, then add green beans and heat through, about 3 minutes. Serve near brown goo.

7. After dinner, start a game of Five-Card Stud using the dirty dishes as chips. Lose on purpose.

Serves 6 (multiply ten times for actual buffet portions)