" What About Bob?" Baby Steppin' Ka-Bobs

The following recipe was featured during the presentation of What About Bob? during TBS Superstation's Dinner & a Movie.

You will need:

  • 1-2 lbs loin cut beef , lamb or pork
  • 1 1/2 tbsp minced garlic
  • 1 tbsp tomato paste
  • 3 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp soy sauce
  • 2-3 tsp chopped fresh rosemary, summer savory, thyme or parsley
  • 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
  • black pepper, cayenne and cumin to taste
  • 1 lb small red potatoes
  • 12 small boiling onions
  • 1 basket cherry tomatoes
  • 15 small mushrooms
  • 2 bell peppers ,cut into quarters
  • 2 small yellow squash or zucchini cut into 1-2" slices.
  • Any other seasonal and skewerable veggies you come across at the market.
  • 1 copy "Babysteps"
  • 1 pair of unusually small Speedos

Baby Step 1. Put first-aid kit out where you can get to it in a hurry.

Baby Step 2. Take a deep breath. Go to the store and buy the stuff. (Remember to use hanky when touching doorhandles, money or people.)

Baby Step 3. Trim the meat of as much fat as possible and cut into thin slices. Wash hands.

Baby Step 4 Combine all marinade ingredients in a mixing bowl and pour half into the trimmed meat. Mix well to coat evenly. (Remember to breathe. ) Smell fingers.

Baby Step 5. Thread the meat tightly onto the skewers. If using wooden skewers, soak them in water a few minutes before skewering the meat. Wash hands twice.

Baby Step 6. In a medium saucepan, combine the potatoes, onions and 1 teaspoon of salt. Cover with cold water and bring to a boil.

Baby Step 7. Reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Drain potatoes and onions, rinse with cool water and set aside. Rinse hands.

Baby Step 8. Step by step, fearlessly skewer the vegetable one by one until your skewer is full. Once that skewer fills up, repeat the process until you either run out of skewers or veggies. Don't feel bad when you run out, you're supposed to . Brush veggie skewers with marinade then think about washing hands.

Baby Step 9. Call and warn fire department, then light barbecue. Check to see if eyebrows remain, if so , go on to next step.

Baby Step 10. Quietly repeat over and over, "this time my skewers will hold together and not catch fire."

Baby Step 11. Cook veggie skewers about 5-6 minutes, turning once or twice. Transfer to warm platter. Pat self on back. Don't even think about washing hands.

Baby Step 12. Cook the meat 3-4 minutes, very close to the flame, turning once. Breathe in the victorious aroma of smoky conquest...crisp and succulent. Eat, dance, rejoice.

Baby Step 13. Celebrate breakthrough by boldly leaving the dishes piled high and dirty in the sink like a proud and defiant monument to your bravery.

Baby Step 14. Call shrink and cancel next appointment. (Confirm the following appointment just in case.)

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