" Fire Birds" Fryers in the Hot Seat (A.K.A. If You Can't Take the Heat, Get Out of the Chicken!)

If you like spicy food, this meal is for you!

You will need:

  • 2 tsp Chinese five spice
  • 2 Tbsp dry sherry
  • 1 Tbsp freshly grated ginger
  • 2 Tbsp hot chili paste
  • 3-4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 green onions, thinly sliced
  • 2 Tbsp sesame oil
  • 1 3lb well seasoned fryer
  • 1 medium paper bag (seriously)
  • 10 lbs of potting clay or 8 cups flour
  • 4 cups kosher salt
  • 3 cups water
  • 8 egg whites kneaded into a dough
  • lots and lots of testosterone


1. Preheat oven to 475;F. Rinse the chicken under running water and pat dry.

2. Combine and mix the marinade ingredients.

3. Rub the chicken with the marinade, getting plenty inside the cavity and under the skin if possible.

4. Roast for 25 minutes, until well browned, unpredictable, and ready to fly off the handle. Remove from oven and cool.

5. Place the chicken in the bag, fold a few times to seal and staple shut.

6. Roll out the clay or salt-dough into rectangle roughly 16x20 inches, then place the bagged chicken in the center of the dough.

7. Bring the sides together and pinch along the edges to form a seal. Trim excess and place on a large baking sheet.

8. Reduce oven temperature to 375;F and cook 1 1/2hours. Break the clay with the butt of your M-16 and serve with macho abandon to the other guys in the cockpit. Serve with ample portions of "Dramatically Head Whipped Potatoes" and unnecessarily large sized pieces of "Daredevils Food" cake.

9. Climb into your seat at the table, get the food in your sights, and show no mercy.

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