" Deceived" Meatless Meat Loaf

Trying to get out of a bad relationship? Prepare this delicious vegetarian meatloaf, and then run out the back door while your partner is wolfing it down!

You will need:

  • 1 cup cashew nuts
  • 1/2 cup walnuts
  • 1/2 cup pine nuts
  • 2 Tbsp. butter
  • 1 cup finely chopped leeks
  • 1 Tbsp. finely chopped garlic
  • 1 cup chopped mushrooms
  • 1/2 ounce dried mushrooms, soaked in 1/2 cup warm water and chopped finely
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 Tbsp. each: freshly chopped parsley, thyme and basil
  • 1 cup cooked brown rice
  • 1/2 cup Grape Nuts
  • 1 cup cottage cheese
  • 3 eggs, beaten
  • 1 Acme brand "fake your own death kit"


1. Toast the nuts on a baking sheet at 350F for 10 minutes.

2. Roughly chop the cashews and walnuts (leave the pine nuts whole) and set aside.

3. Saute the leeks in butter until softened, but not brown. Add the garlic and reduce the heat to medium.

4. Add the chopped fresh and soaked mushrooms with the mushroom soaking liquid and cook over medium heat about 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

5. Transfer the hot mixture to a large mixing bowl and add the herbs, toasted nuts, brown rice, Grape Nuts, cottage cheese, eggs, and mix well.

6. Butter a 1 1/2 quart baking dish or loaf pan and fill with the mixture and bake for 60 minutes. The top should be firm and nicely brown, but not burned. (Brush with tomato sauce or catsup for the final 20 minutes, if desired.)

7. Serve up your meatless meatloaf secure in the knowledge that even your most carniverous guest may be deceived by its hearty goodness.

8. Deploy your Acme brand "fake your own death kit" proving you'll do whatever it takes to avoid doing the dishes.

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