" Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead" Christina Applecake

Next time your parents go out and don't make you dinner first, impress everyone by taking care of yourself. Whip up this delicious cake and eat something sweet for supper.


  • 2 cups peeled, grated apple
  • juice and zest of 1 lemon
  • 1/2 cup freshly chopped pineapple
  • 1/2 cup dried cranberries
  • 1 cup chopped pecans
  • 1/2 cup pure maple syrup
  • 1 tsp. baking powder
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 2 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp. each: allspice, ground cloves, ground ginger
  • 3 eggs, beaten
  • 1 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour


  • 8 oz. cream cheese
  • 4 oz. softened butter
  • 4 oz. chopped crystallized ginger
  • a good alibi


1. Preheat the oven to 350F.

2. Mix the apples, lemon juice, pineapple, cranberries, pecans and maple syrup together in a mixing bowl and set aside.

3. Combine the sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt and spices and mix together well.

4. Add the beaten eggs to the spice mixture and beat well; then slowly whisk the oil into the egg mixture to form an emulsion.

5. Alternately fold the flour and the apple mixture into the egg mixture. Mix well.

6. Transfer the batter into 2 greased and floured loaf pans and bake in the center of the preheated oven for 45 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool on a wire rack.

7. Combine the cream cheese, butter and crystallized ginger in the work bowl of a food processor and process until well combined. Spread liberally over cooled cake.

8. DO tell your guests the dishwasher's dead and they'll have to help out with the dirties.

sign up for the weekly newsletter

Get the latest on TBS shows from videos, games and other fun content.