Ray's family may drive him crazy, but we think they're hilarious. Of course, if our families spouted lines like the ones below, we'd probably go nuts, too. What's your favorite quote from the show? Let us know on our Raymond message boards!


very funny quotes from Everybody Loves Raymond:

"Look, you have to do what Mommy says."
"Why?"
"'Cause I do."
- Ray and Ally in Father Knows Least

"No, I didn't rupture my booty ... one time I did sprain my groove thing."
- Debra in High School

"Frankly, my dear .. I don't give a dang."
"Idiots ..."
- Ray and Debra in Civil War

"Just because you were a good girl in the fifties doesn't mean --"
"Good girl? HAH!"
- Debra and Frank, to Marie in Good Girls

"How about when you used to go to school and mom would follow you there!"
"What? That was mom?! (Robert nods) Oh my god! The crazy tree lady! I used to have nightmares about her!"
- Robert and Ray in Traffic School

"Some people would consider a canoe ride romantic."
"Guess you didn't see 'Deliverance'."
- Marie and Frank in Getting Even

"Whatever my wife touches falls off, so you can imagine how worried I am."
- Ray in Getting Even

"Sorry, Frankenstein's house of tooth decay is closed."
- Frank in Halloween Candy

"Raymond, Debra is teaching me so much about cooking."
"You're learning cooking from Debra? Okay, [points down] so heaven is here, [points up] hell is here, it's raining monkeys, and wood is now a drink."
- Marie and Ray in No Fat

"Don't you tell me to be quiet! I have a mind of my own you know! I can contribute! I'm not just some... trophy wife!"
"You're a trophy wife? What contest in hell did I win?"
- Marie and Frank in The Toaster

"Zero serving zero ... Ray can kiss my rear-o!"
- Frank in Ping Pong

"That is so whack!"
"Okay see right there... we're Italian, whack means something else to us."
- Robert and Ray in Robert's Date

"Nice? I tried it once. Didn't care for it."
"Did the same thing happen with smart?"
- Frank and Marie in Be Nice

"You want books? They're all yours."
"Nothing Dad likes better than getting rid of knowledge."
- Frank and Robert in Be Nice

"Who keeps pornography for 29 years?"
"Anyone married to you."
- Marie and Frank in Robert Moves Back