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QUOTES: SEASON 1, EPISODE 6
 
Michael: "Thomas, I don't even know where to begin with you because you've had a crazy life. You were a police detective, you were an undercover narcotics officer. But the thing that I want to know about is, you married your stepsister?!"
 
Michael to contestant Thomas Riker: "So your father's a freak, not you?"
 
D.L.: "White people -- what can you say?"
 
Michael: "We have fire here. American-made fire, Thomas!"
 
Michael: "The only reason you'd ever need to cross the border with that many pennies is if you were going to a Mexican strip club."
 
Michael: "Come on, Thomas! You're a policeman! You're supposed to be able to tell when someone is lying."
 
Michael: "What's the rainforest made out of? Trees. What's a greeting card made out of? Trees."
 
D.L.: "Now I know you're asking, 'Who the f--k is Taye Diggs?'"
 
D.L.: "You open your chest and your junk is small, the date is over."
 
D.L.: "You are the worst cop in the world."
 
Michael: "Thomas, we're both men. We know nothing grows in the cold."
 
D.L.: "For once, trust the black dude!"
 
D.L.: "Don't taze me, bro."
 
Michael to Thomas: "Are you really a cop, or are you just a fan of the Ace Ventura movies?"
 
Michael about the audience: "I was trying to give them some hope since they've been wrong every time."
 
Thomas: "I suck at this."

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