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QUOTES: SEASON 1, EPISODE 3
 
Michael: "He's a judge, he doesn't even need pants. He's got the robe -- he can go commando! You know Judge Judy goes commando."
 
Michael: "That's why other cartoon characters that have been banned in Indonesia are Winnie the Pooh, Porky the Pig and Britney Spears."
 
D.L.: "He was a judge in D.C., so he probably needed the money for whatever potential indictment was going on."
 
Contestant: ”That just sounds crazy, but you look like you’re lying.”
Michael: "But Jamal, I'm gonna look like this the entire show!"
 
D.L.: ”These rocks are from space? These rocks are from Detroit, now get back in line.”
 
D.L.: "You just proved that the government will tax you in case of a nuclear attack. So you know they'll make even white people go through customs."
 
Michael on the premise of Trust Me, I'm a Game Show Host: "That's the whole point of the show. You're not supposed to have heard of it."
 
D.L. on lying: "My man, my man! They made me do it! They got my family."

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