watch episode clips

     

 
QUOTES: SEASON 1, EPISODE 2
 
D.L.:“I know Mick Jagger walks like a chicken, but that’s the closest he ever came to a farm.”
 
D.L.:“Ben Franklin loved women, and he was freaky.”
 
D.L. on Benjamin Franklin:“He looks like the first bishop Don Juan, doesn’t he?”
 
D.L.:“I want you to know I lie to pastors all the time.”
 
Michael:“You know Norway is never going to knight somebody who’s half black.”
 
D.L.: “But Obama carried Connecticut, so anything’s possible.”
 
D.L.: “(Stephen King) didn’t write for television until years later. I think his first scary project was ‘The View.’”
 
Michael: “It’s for people who like going to Las Vegas but don’t like having fun.”
 
Michael: “If you’re Nicholas Cage, you need caffeine just to stay awake watching your movies.”
 
Michael:“If there’s one thing we know about Japanese people, it’s this: They’re weird.”
 
Michael: “Soy sauce is everywhere in Japan. You can’t get away from it. It’s like Ryan Seacrest here.”
 
D.L.:“Scotch has a very mild and pleasant aroma that is different from other alcohols. When it dries down, it smells like a homeless dude.”
 
Michael:“If it’s not true, there is no God and your life is a lie.”

sign up for the weekly newsletter

Get the latest on TBS shows from videos, games and other fun content.