sullivan and son ALL-NEW TONIGHT AT 10/9c
Carol:  "Those girls are classy and educated. And you know what I've always said about those kind of girls!"
Owen:  "They're horny and easy to bang?"
Carol:  "Exactly!"
Hank:  "They haven't wanted anything to do with me since the wedding. They got all bent out of shape when I questioned the immigration status of the bride's family."
Steve:  "What'd you do? Set up a check point as they're walking down the aisle?"
Hank:  "You got a better time? They're already in single file."
Steve:  "Who's [Hank] talking to?"
Jack:  "I don't know. But he's smiling, so it must be a white guy."
Hank:  "At a certain point, it's just hard to give a damn about what happens at work."
Pat Sajak:  "What do you do, Hank?"
Hank:  "I'm an air traffic controller."
Melanie:  "You're the only person in the bar Hank listens to."
Steve:  "Hank doesn't listen to me."
Melanie:  "Yes, he does! He respects you. You remember when that lesbian couple came in? You're the one who got him to stop referring to them as 'those two shrub scouts.'"
Carol:  "Could you ask him if he remembers the Bay Point Inn at Lake Michigan?"
Pat Sajak:  "No."
Hank:  "No, he doesn't remember that."
Carol:  "Late April? Round bed? We caused that electrical fire?"
Pat Sajak:  "I have absolutely no memory of that!"
Carol:  "Oh, wait! That was Alex Trebek."
Pat Sajak:  "That's typical. He always got my leftovers."
Owen:  "Now, maybe most of the time, you're a tow truck driver, and I'm an unemployed dumbass. But we just had dinner in the most expensive restaurant in Pittsburgh, and we fit right in. Tonight, you and I are gentlemen. Tonight, you and I have class. "
Ahmed:  "So what's your plan?"
Owen:  "We steal their credit cards."
Ahmed:  "Girls, we don't have the money to pay for this dinner. I'm a tow truck driver. Owen's unemployed."
Owen:  "In my defense, I live with my mother, so rent's not an issue. ... I just made it worse, didn't I?"
"Classy" Girl #1  "We don't have any money either."
Owen:  "But you're a big time lawyer, and you own an art gallery!"
"Classy" Girl #2:  "Actually, we sell kettle corn at the swap meet."
Jack:  "So, you got a clean bill of health!"
Hank:  "Well, the doctor did mention my high blood pressure, low-functioning kidneys, and numbness in my legs. Vitamin deficiency, weakened arterial walls, nipple sensitivity, and fever of unknown origin. Other than that, I'm triathlon-ready!"
Carol:  "It's all about associations! For instance, my relationship with Pat Sajak at O'Hare Airport at the TCBY yogurt stand was a very brief, passion-filled moment in time. It was perhaps the greatest sexual experience of my life."
Pat Sajak:  "Oh, yeah. Daddy gets it done."
Hank:  "So, what do I buy a 15-year-old Mexican girl for her birthday? A stroller?"
Hank:  "It was just awkward. 'Hello, how are you? Oh, you've gotten so big!' Well, I probably shouldn't have said that to my son's wife."

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