sullivan and son RETURNS THIS SUMMER
Hank:  "So you're asking us to believe that the NASCAR champion got in an accident with a lady of Asian persuasion and she was not at fault? Good luck proving that in court."
Hank:  "So the Asian woman is a good driver and the NASCAR guy can do math? This is a good day to die."
Brad Keselowski:  "Hey, ma'am, very quick, can you teach me how to parallel park?"
Ok Cha:  "Oh, that's easy. You just bounce between the cars."
Brad Keselowski:  "Oh, so you do it that way, too!"
Ok Cha:  "Credit cards are a one-way ticket to debt. They're for stupid Americans to buy stuff they can't afford. That's why I don't have a credit card, and that's why America is China's little bitch."
Hank:  "You know what's going to get those boys in game shape? Painting a three bedroom, two bath house."
Steve:  "No, Hank."
Hank:  "How about cleaning out a basement filled with memories I can't face?"
Ahmed:  "I can't believe you've only been with one woman."
Roy:  "Why is that so weird?"
Owen:  "Because you test-drove at least nine cars but settled on your first vagina."
Owen:  "Yeah, but it was a good deal! It gets great mileage, great interior, and I know one thing for sure: I'm the original owner."
Owen:  "Could that guy be my dad?"
Carol:  "Oh, honey, it's so hard to pinpoint. We're talking June of 1982. That's an entire month."
Steve:  "What's going on with you?"
Roy:  "Well, it occurred to me – I may have only been with one woman, but that's no reason why I can't sow some wild oats. I'm on my Royspringa, baby! And for the duration of this Royspringa, I'm gonna eat, watch, and download any damn thing I want! My wife called eight minutes ago, and I still haven't called her back. Royspringa, bitch!"
Melanie:  "You know what? I can see why she wanted the Steve-man. 'Cause you're sensitive, and considerate, and you wouldn't overwhelm her, because you're probably not that good."
Steve:  "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, but for the record, I've gotten thank you cards."
Melanie:  "I'm sure that they were brief, just like the experience."
Jack:  "You're like a drug addict with this card! Look at yourself. What do you see?"
Ok Cha:  "I see a woman who needs a six-month supply of Cindy Crawford face cream."
Susan:  "Oh my God, is that solid gold?!"
Ok Cha:  "It's plaster. A decoy to fool thieves. I knew if they broke in here and held a gun to my head and told your father, 'Give us your money or your wife dies,' he'd give them the money, instead of letting them shoot me in the head, as I gave him explicit instructions to do."

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