" Coming to America" Land of the Free-Range Turkey Burgers with Jerri Curly Fries

Don't settle for another greasy hamburger and more boring fries. Dig into this healthy alternative, instead. Just be careful. Eating turkey makes many people sleepy. Don't operate any heavy machinery after eating this meal.

You will need: For the turkey burgers

  • 2 lbs. organic, free-range turkey breast and thigh meat
  • 2 tablespoons peanut oil
  • 1/4 cup crushed ice
  • 1/4 cup chopped scallions
  • 2 tablespoons chopped parsley
  • 1 teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper
  • kosher salt to taste
  • 1 beefsteak tomato, sliced
  • 1 white onion, thinly sliced
  • 1 lb. sharp cheddar, thinly sliced
  • 1 small head romaine lettuce
  • 4 buns
  • 1 CD box set "Sexual Chocolate Live from Queens!"

For the jerri curly fries:

  • 2 pounds baking potatoes or Yukon gold potatoes
  • vegetable oil for frying
  • salt to taste
  • 1 Dinner & a Movie couch protector

Directions:

1. Cut the meat into 1/2-inch pieces and transfer to a food processor. Add the crushed ice and using short pulses, grind the meat to the consistency of coarse hamburger. Don't over grind or the burger will be tough. Transfer to a mixing bowl, add the scallions, parsley, and black pepper; mix well.

2. Divide the meat into 4 equal pieces. Loosely shape each piece into a 1-inch thick patty. Season both sides of the patties with kosher salt and refrigerate.

3. Heat a heavy, cast iron skillet over a medium-high heat until very hot. Quickly brush the pan with peanut oil and cook the patties 4-5 minutes on each side.

4. Cut potatoes using a curly fry cutter. If one isn?t available, hand cut potatoes into strips 3-inches long and 3/8-inch square. Cover with cold water and let stand 15-20 minutes. Drain and dry well with paper towels.

5. Fill a deep fat fryer or large saucepan with oil to a depth of 5-6 inches. Using a frying thermometer, slowly heat oil to a temperature of 325°F. Fry potatoes in 1-cup batches until they just begin to turn a very pale gold (about 6 minutes). Remove fries with slotted spoon and drain on paper towels in a single layer until cool to the touch.

6. Raise oil temperature to 360°F. Add potatoes and fry until crisp and golden brown, then drain, salt, and serve.

7. After dinner, arrange a marriage between your most eligible dinner guest and the dirty dishes.

Serves 4



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