Professor Haines

Professor Haines (Tim Meadows) is an ultra-liberal professor with a chip on his shoulder and a streak of paranoia about the military-industrial complex. He frequently veers off topic during his lectures, using every opportunity he can to deliver a soapbox rant. He never hesitates to take a verbal jab at his students. Currently going through a messy divorce, Professor Haines is not very good with the ladies.