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Ray's family may drive him crazy, but we think they're hilarious. Of course, if our families spouted lines like the ones below, we'd probably go nuts, too. What's your favorite quote from the show? Let us know on our Raymond message boards!


quotes from Everybody Loves Raymond:                                               << first   < prev       Page 10 of 10

"We must've hit a skunk that crawled out of the butt of another skunk."
- Ray in Big Shots

"I know you're small, but in bed space, you're like one of those monsters on the spaceship...ahhhhh..."
- Ray in Move Over

"Kindness--that's always been my motto."
"Hmm, that's a slightly different motto than "Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah."
- Marie and Frank in Be Nice

"She's your wife!"
"He's your brother!"
"You are a sick man!"
- Robert and Debra in Dancing with Debra

"That's the rule of marriage. A spouse automatically has the right to know that you deflowered a woman in front of your entire apartment building."
- Ray in Robert Moves Back

"Oh, his feet are fine."
"Yeah, fine, if you're trying to jump-start a vomit."
- Debra and Ray in Robert Moves Back

"Am I a man or what?"
"Yeah, you should have your genitals removed."
- Ray and Gianni in How They Met

"Why would you want to hear me complain about Ray?"
"Perhaps we haven't met. I'm Robert Barone."
- Debra and Robert in The Can Opener

"Marie, sun's up, plate's empty. Where are my eggs?"
- Frank in The Can Opener

"Why did you tell me it was only once a year?"
"Because this whole topic is improper! What we do in our bedroom is our own business, and I prefer not to be known as the Whore of Lynbrook."
"We can move from Lynbrook."
- Debra, Marie and Frank in Sex Talk

"How many times would you say that you and Ma?"
"Oh, somebody kill me!"
- Robert and Ray in Sex Talk

"And look, by the way, you don't have to call her Mom. We got a system. You can pick any name."
"Another name?"
"Yeah, yeah, uh, that way it's not embarrassing."
"Yeah, I think we're passed that."
"Harriet Lichmann."
- Robert, Frank and Ray in Sex Talk

"Before you even knew how to take up a pencil, I had my own column, 'The View from Up Here.'"
- Robert in The Ingrate

"Why don't you get one of those funnels that dogs wear around their neck, and just throw the food in there?"
- Ray in Crazy Chin

"Hey. You know what? I got a camera. So-so, we'll take some pictures, and we'll show 'em to everybody, and-and then...then you quit 'the business' because you wanted to spend more time with your family. And we're done."
- Ray in The Model

"You mean this is where we're doing it? In your basement?"
"Yeah."
"It's supposed to look like a $2,000 picture."
"Well, just stand up against the backdrop. It's very nice."
"You mean your bedspread? It's like a porn shoot."
- Robert and Ray in The Model

"There's some fruit in the fridge. This house has always had too much fruit."
- Marie in The Home

"I like the way I dress, and so does your son."
"That's right."
- Debra and Robert in P. T. & A.

"If x equals lame, that guy is x squared!"
- Ray in Ally's F

"How does Greenberg do it? Put two couches together?"
- Frank in Boys' Therapy

"It's unbeatable! It's unstoppable. Marie's Mouth! This is a sign!"
- Frank in Boys' Therapy

"At first, I didn't think it would help, but I'm a new man! And I owe it all to Marie's Mouth!"
- Frank in Boys' Therapy

"You got anything in here I can poison myself with?"
"Listen, I know I'm big, but where can I hide?"
- Frank and Robert in Debra's Parents

"I say they're faking it. If I wasn't enjoying these chips so much, I'd go back there and poke some holes in their happy divorce crap. What am I saying? I can do both!"
- Frank in Debra's Parents

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