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Ray's family may drive him crazy, but we think they're hilarious. Of course, if our families spouted lines like the ones below, we'd probably go nuts, too. What's your favorite quote from the show? Let us know on our Raymond message boards!


quotes from Everybody Loves Raymond:                     << first   < prev       Page 2 of 10       next >   last >>

"We usually hang ours over the door."
- Robert, after seeing Ray put a wreath over his underpants in All I Want for Christmas

''That is what the Civil War is all about. Families coming together...''
''To kill other families."
- Frank and Ray in Civil War

"Marie Barone Meatball Cooking Set, Marie Barone Included."
- Robert in Marie's Meatballs

''A blank check. Your dumber than I tell people.''
- Frank in The Checkbook

"We've got a 10-30, better check outside."
"No getaway-car. Got no friends?"
- Robert and Judy in The Ride Along

"I told you Raymond, it's important that you do not interfere with police business."
"What? What police business? We've been driving around for three hours. I saw more action on my paper-route."
- Robert and Ray in The Ride Along

"You'd better drive by later. If it's open again we'll call in a K9-car and send in the 'Bow-Wow.' That's a police dog."
"Oh, Bow-Wow is a police dog. How do you crack that code?"
- Robert and Ray in The Ride Along

"My birthday's in June!"
"That's when we told you your birthday was."
"It was easier that way, dear."
"Oh, well as long as it was easy!"
- Robert, Frank and Marie in Good Girls

"My wife Debra she's funny, she's good; we don't have as much sex as we should."
- Ray, singing in T-Ball

"All you just need is some practice."
"It's not the kind of thing you can practice. It's all about relating to people."
"You're a dead man."
- Debra, Robert and Frank in Traffic School

"How about making sure your first born son is in the backseat before driving off from a gas station in New Mexico!"
"Roby, that was so long ago!"
- Robert (as a dummy) and Marie in Traffic School

"I scraped the rust off this thermos, $20.00."
"Who do you think will buy it?"
"People are idiots, and I'm claiming it was used by the Pope. Hey, you Catholic, like soup?"
- Frank and Ray in The Garage Sale

"Ray, please say we have a sister!"
- Robert, carrying pictures in The Garage Sale

"Welcome to 'Honest Frank's Yard of Bargains!' Hi kids!"
- Frank in The Garage Sale

"You're already planning the wedding?"
"I've been planning it since I was 12."
"But you didn't meet me until you were 22."
"Well, you're the last piece of the puzzle."
- Ray and Debra in The Wedding (1)

"I'm sorry but I feel the need...to say something."
"Ma!"
"Did you bring your gun?"
- Marie, Robert and Ray in The Wedding (2)

"Hey, what is this?"
"Oh, gosh. I guess that's your Dad's remote...I must've accidentally brought it upstairs with me."
"This was no accident."
- Ray and Debra in The Invasion

"I'm writing the ticket!"
"Fine! That's Barone, B-A-R-O-N-E, as in the man from whose loins you sprung!"
- Robert and Frank in Driving Frank

"What kind of an idiot would spend $80 for a canoe ride?"
- Frank in Getting Even

"What ya gonna do, Raymond? Talk trash to me?"
"No...I don't know. I'm distracted by the shine off your scalp."
- Frank and Ray in Ping Pong

"Whoa! What are you doing?"
"Snugling. For body warmth."
"Puttin' on the heat!"
- Frank and Marie in Pants on Fire

"Would you stop? The boys did nothing wrong. You wanted them to make you a tribute, they made you a tribute."
"I can't wait for my eulogy."
- Marie and Frank in Frank's Tribute

"Personally, I like leprachauns."
- Frank in Ray Home Alone

"Dicovery Channel Cubby! Nature'll put you right out!"
"Unless it's about monkey's right?"
"W-what?"
"Nothin' I just remember that you had a shoe tree, that you thought looked like a monkey...holding an axe."
- Robert and Ray in Ray Home Alone

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