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Here are some of our favorite quotes from Joey, Rachel and the gang. Did we miss one of your faves? Let us know by posting it on our Friends Message Board, and we'll add it to the list!


very funny Friends quotes:                                                     << first   < prev       Page 2 of 18       next >   last >>

"Now I've upset you? What did I say?"
"It's not what you said, it's just the way you said it. Oh my god! I'm a woman!"
- Chandler and Joey in The One With Ross's Teeth

"You know, when guys hang out, they don't just drink beer and hammer up drywall."
"When girls hang out, we don't have pillow fights in our underwear."
- Chandler and Monica in The One With Ross's Teeth

"He used to be just, 'Jack Geller: Monica and Ross's Dad,' and now he's... he's, 'Jack Gellar: Dream hunk'."
"I don't know. You know, to me he'll always be, 'Jack Geller: Walks in while you're changing'."
- Phoebe and Rachel in The One Where Ross Got High

"This is so good that I'm going to enjoy it on the balcony, so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert."
- Chandler in The One Where Ross Got High

"And Dad, you know that mailman you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys. Ross did!"
"Yeah, well hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing. Monica did!"
- Monica and Ross in The One Where Ross Got High

"Well, that's a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in high school, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick."
- Rachel in The One With The Routine

"Chandler, that's not enough. I mean, what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean, that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?"
- Rachel in The One With The Routine

"Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny little lights now-a-days? I remember when people used to use big lights."
"That's a good story, Grandpa!"
- Chandler and Rachel in The One With The Routine

"I hate Pottery Barn, too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed."
"You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets!"
"I was tired!"
- Joey and Chandler in The One With The Apothecary Table

"Have you kissed her yet? It's awesome! I could do it forever! You know what? She... she kisses better than my mom cooks!"
- Joey in The One With The Apothecary Table

"You know what would cheer you up?"
"What?"
"I'm giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night. I think you should come."
- Ross and Joey in The One With The Apothecary Table

"Uh, Gunther, I can't pay for this right now because I'm not working, so I've had to cut down on some luxuries like, uh, paying for stuff."
- Joey in The One With The Joke

"Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom to. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffee house. First of all, the customer is always right. A smile goes a long way. And if anyone is ever rude to you: Sneeze Muffin."
- Rachel in The One With The Joke

"You know who else picked Rachel? Ross! You know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? I'm going to get a joke journal. You know? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes."
- Chandler in The One With The Joke

"So which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or the one that bit her?"
"Dad cut me off!"
"Never mind."
- Phoebe and Jill in The One With Rachel's Sister

"...because I bought a boat."
"You bought a boat?"
"That's OK, it was for a friend."
"Boy, did we make friends with the wrong sister."
- Jill, Rachel and Chandler in The One With Rachel's Sister

"I can't believe Ross is going out with Rachel's sister. Ya know, when Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for, like, ten years."
"That was five years ago."
"I know. You got five more years."
"Joey?"
"You want to make it six?"
- Joey and Chandler in The One With Rachel's Sister

"That's Ursula! That's not Phoebe, that's Ursula."
"REALLY? REALLY? I can watch that. REWIND IT! REWIND IT!"
"Hey, what's up? Oh my God! What am I doing?!"
- Rachel, Joey and Phoebe in The One Where Chandler Can't Cry

"You turned me down?? How gay are you?!!"
- Jill in The One Where Chandler Can't Cry

"Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor, so if I'm in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, let's say I wanna convey that I've just done something evil. That would be the basic 'I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it'."
- Joey in The One Where Chandler Can't Cry

"Oh, just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, 'Bring me food.' Two is, 'I'm with a girl, bring us food.' Three is, 'I'm lost and I can't find food'."
- Chandler in The One That Could Have Been (I)

"Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! You know, I just wish we could be, like, on a break!"
- Rachel in The One That Could Have Been (I)

"Oh my God! Rachel! You look terrific!"
"Oh, so do you! Did you lose weight?"
"You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!"
- Monica and Rachel in The One That Could Have Been (I)

"Wait a minute, it's perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and we're in a building that's full of beds!"
"And it's so clean!"
- Chandler and Monica in The Where Rachel Has A Baby (I)

"How many centimetres am I dilated? Eight? Nine?"
"Three."
"Just three? I'm dilated three!"
- Rachel, The Doctor and Ross in The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (I)

"I feel so bad for you; I broke my leg once too."
"Oh yeah? How'd yours happen?"
"Well, it's a long story. It's kind of embarrassing. Let's just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual."
- Phoebe and Hospital Patient in The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (I)

"What is that?"
"It's the baby's buttocks, she's breech."
"Oh, thank God, I thought she had two heads."
- Ross and The Doctor in The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (II)

"Since Rachel and I... we're doing really well right now."
"I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it."
"Yeah, exactly."
"Right. Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were fifteen."
- Ross and Phoebe in The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (II)

"You already know what your kids' names are gonna be."
"You do?"
"Yeah, I've had them picked out since I was fourteen."
"Oh no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good, isn't it?"
- Ross, Chandler and Monica in The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (II)

"I didn't propose! Unless, uh...did I? I haven't slept in forty hours, and it does sound like something I would do!"
- Ross in The One Where No One Proposes

"Oh, what beautiful lukewarm sentiment."
- Phoebe in The One Where No One Proposes

"I can't believe it, she's asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!"
"I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again!"
- Monica and Phoebe in The One Where Emma Cries

"Please, take your time, It's an important decision. Not like, say, I don't know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin."
- Ross in The One Where Emma Cries

"You need some help with that?"
"What gives you that idea, my mishapen claw!"
- Joey and Ross in The One Where Emma Cries

"Yeah, I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey."
"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
- Chandler and Monica in The One With The Pediatrician

"I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking, 'Oh my God! It's David! David's here!' He's, just, He's so irresistable!"
"Really? The scientist guy?"
"Really? Chandler?"
"Continue."
- Phoebe and Monica in The One With The Pediatrician

"Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school! Yeah, were we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. Hey, remember the one where I punch you for not being cool?"
- Joey in The One With The Pediatrician

"Guys are just different. They like things that we can't understand. You know, I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend that he was an archeologist, and that I was this naughty cave women who he unfroze from a block of ice."
- Rachel in The One With The Sharks

"Really? Great. Did I... Did I actually ask you?"
"Oh, um, that's just where you were going. I figured I'd help you out. You don't seem like the kind of guy who does this alot."
- Joey and Hayley in The One With The Sharks

"Joey, you don't think sharks are sexy do you?"
"No. Wait a minute, wait. What was the little mermaid?"
- Monica and Joey in The One With The Sharks

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