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Here are some of our favorite quotes from Joey, Rachel and the gang. Did we miss one of your faves? Let us know by posting it on our Friends Message Board, and we'll add it to the list!


very funny Friends quotes:                                                                 << first   < prev       Page 18 of 18

"Before I start, I just wanna say that, um, I have a cold. So if I sneeze in the middle of a song, it's not on purpose. Oh! Except the last verse of Pepper People."
- Phoebe in The One With Joey's New Girlfriend

"You know how, at the end of the day, you throw your coat on the table? Well, instead of a table, it's a pile of garbage! And instead of a coat, it's a pile of garbage!"
- Ross in The One With The Dirty Girl

"Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, 'That massage wasn't long enough,' or, 'I don't recognize any of those songs,' or, you know, 'These sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl'!"
- Phoebe in The One With The Dirty Girl

"So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?"
"You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? Well, like that, except instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, its a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived!"
- Joey and Ross in The One With The Dirty Girl

"Have a seat. Bow or stern?"
"I don't really have a preference. You?"
"Oh, I like it in the stern...of the BOAT."
- Chandler and Kathy in The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line

"You have really great hair."
"Thanks, I grow it myself."
- Kathy and Chandler in The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line

"I just had a wonderful time with myself."
"This could be a fun story."
- Rachel and Chandler in The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line

"Yeah, but do you really want to be in a relationship where you can actually say 'That's not how your dad used to do it.'?"
- Phoebe in The One With Chandler In The Box

"How cute is the on-call doctor?!?"
"So cute I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye!"
- Monica and Rachel in The One With Chandler In A Box

"Every week a TV Guide is delivered to Joey and Chandler. What is the name on the magazine?"
"Oh it's Chandler Bing. Him. Right there."
"No."
"Actually the correct answer is 'Chanandler Bong.'"
"Ms. Chanandler Bong."
- Ross, Rachel, Monica and Chandler in The One With The Embryos

"Are you in there little fetus? In 9 months will you come greet us? I... will... buy you some Adidas?"
- Phoebe in The One With The Embryos

"According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejesus out of him?"
"Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!"
"The Irish jig guy?"
"You should see him! His legs flail about as if independent from his body!"
- Ross, Monica, Joey and Chandler in The One With The Embryos

"Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear... the selection of underwear that we carry."
- Rachel in The One With Rachel's Crush

"Come on, Ross! Look, I don't have any brothers; I'm never gonna get to be a best man!"
"You can be the best man when I get married."
"I'm never gonna get to be a best man!"
- Joey and Chandler in The One With The Worst Best Man Ever

"M-my ring? M-my wedding ring? The... the stripper stole my wedding ring? How... how? How could this all happen?"
"Well, I think it all started when you said, 'Hey, Joey, why don't you be my best man'."
- Ross and Chandler in The One With The Worst Best Friend Ever

"I still don't get how you know when it's false labor."
"Well, do you see any babies?"
- Rachel and Phoebe in The One With The Worst Best Man Ever

"Phoebe, I'm not going to Ross's wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because I'm still in love with him! I mean, hey, y'know, I like Ross as much as the next guy. You know, clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings don't mean love! You know, I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross, yeah! But, I have... I have, you know, continuing feelings of love, but that doesn't mean that... that I'm still in love with him. You'know? I have... I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him... Oh! Oh my God! Oh my... why didn't you tell me?"
- Rachel in The One With Ross's Wedding

"Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That's what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake, with the little people on top. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was."
" had no idea. And that... that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the flying nun."
"Sometimes we were."
- Monica and Ross in The One With Ross's Wedding

"Well, because we thought you knew! It's so obvious! That would be like, you know, telling Monica, 'Hey, you know, you like things clean'."
- Phoebe in The One With Ross's Wedding

"We know how expensive weddings can be. Besides, this may be the only wedding we get to throw."
"Ha ha! A joke that's funny in all countries."
- Mrs. Gellar and Monica in The One With Ross's Wedding (II)

"I'd like to toast Ross and Emily. Of course my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding. So this is kind of my little toast, or Melba toast, if you will."
- Chandler in The One With Ross's Wedding (II)

"What we did last night was...."
"Stupid."
"Totally crazy stupid."
"What were we thinking?"
"I'm coming over tonight though, right?"
"Oh yeah, definitely."
- Chandler and Monica in The One With Ross's Wedding (II)

"Oh, I don't know if I feel right about this."
"Monica, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex."
- Monica and Chandler in The One After Ross Says Rachel

"This is worse than when he married the lesbian."
- Mr. Gellar in The One After Ross Says Rachel

"Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake, right?"
- Joey in The One After Ross Says Rachel

"I'm just going to wander around in the rain."
"Uhh--it's not raining."
"I can't catch a break!"
- Ross and Rachel in The One With All The Kissing

"You're fired!"
"You can't fire me! I'm in charge of your decisions and I say I'm NOT fired!"
- Rachel and Monica in The One With All The Kissing

"Can you believe I had to kiss them everytime I left the room? Too bad they didn't see us having sex."
- Chandler in The One With All The Kissing

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