weekday mornings
No question about it—the Brown Meadows retirement home is full of characters. And when you've got that many crazy, strange people in one house, you're bound to hear some funny lines. So enjoy a good laugh and tell us what your favorite quote from the show is on our Meet the Browns message boards!


very funny quotes from Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns:

“How’d you learn to do all this?”
“I went and bought the complete DVD boxed set of ‘This Old Hood.’”
- Cora and Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows

"For the last time, lady, I'm tellin' you. We don't have an elevator. This ain't the Waldorf Historica."
- Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows

"These people are my clients. I run a business. Do you even have a license?"
"Oh, no, I'm not driving nowhere. I don't need a license. I'm'a ride my bike."
- Robin Robinson and Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows

"That girl's breath smells like butt and feet. Smells like futt."
- Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows

"She don't know me. I'll break her down like a fraction."
- Cora in Meet Brown Meadows

"I'm a widower."
"You died?"
"No. My wife died. Just like half your brain."
- Colonel and Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows

"Brown's such a delightful chap. So loyal. I'm thinking of keeping him."
- Daisy in Meet London and the Competition

"You can't say 'bomb' at the airport! That's like saying 'Obama' at a McCain rally!"
- Colonel in Meet London and the Competition

"Cora, they done put me in here with the Cheerio killer! Hurry, it's conjugal visit night and I don't see no women in here!"
- Mr. Brown in Meet London and the Competition

"I hope you're handy, 'cause you sure is ugly."
- Colonel to the handyman candidate in Meet London and the Competition

"I did learn my lesson, and that's a very good lesson for all you young'ns out there. Don't drink and shop."
- London in Meet London and the Competition

"That girl's so stupid, she'd sell her car for gas money."
- Colonel in Meet London and the Competition

“Hurry up, Brown! I’m out of uniform!”
“Oh, shut up, Colonel! You don’t need pants! You’re retired!”
- Mr. Brown and the Colonel in Meet the Dependents and the Divas

“Children, they lie when you look at ‘em, and they’re too noisy. The Bible says, ‘Suffer little children if they come unto me.’ If they come unto me, they gonna suffer."
“Mr. Brown! You know Jesus said, ‘Let the children come unto me.'”
“That’s right! He said, let them come unto HIM! Not unto Brown!”
- Mr. Brown and Cora in Meet the Dependents and the Divas

"Everybody here is so old. It’s like living in Jurassic Park."
- Joaquin in Meet the Dependents and the Divas

“You’re about to witness the death of the world’s most untalented tabloid queen.”
“And when I’m dead, I guess I’ll know how your career feels.”
- Daisy and London in Meet the Dependents and the Divas

“That’s the fraternity boys next door, Mr. Brown.”
“Fraternity? Is that when you’re trying to find out if you the baby mama?”
- Cora and Mr. Brown in Meet Your Family

“Just think, if you had your own little son playing football. Wouldn’t that be cute?”
“What if it’s a girl?”
“Girls can play football, too.”
“If they’re wearing dresses, I’ll watch.”
- Sasha, Jesús and the Colonel in Meet Your Family

“Can someone fix the color?”
“It was shot in black and white.”
“Why does it always have to be about race with you?”
- London and the Colonel in Meet Your Maker

“You were really pretty! What happened?”
- London to Daisy in Meet Your Maker

“I’ve got egg whites, turkey bacon and grapefruit.”
“Turkey bacon? Cora, I didn’t know pigs and turkeys be matin’.”
- Cora and Mr. Brown in Meet the Babies

“Colonel, don’t you turn your back on the Lord! Who put shoes on your table? Who put food on your feet?”
- Mr. Brown in Meet the Babies

“Stay in there! There ain’t nothin’ out here but death, taxes and turkey bacon!”
- Mr. Brown to Tamika's baby in Meet the Babies

“I’m a pajama thug up in this piece!”
- Mr. Brown in Meet the Babies

"I gotta call my mom in Mexico."
"My phone don't speak Mexico!"
- Jesús and Mr. Brown in Meet the Dangerous and the Deadline

"Did you check all your drawers for the ticket?"
"My drawers?! You could get a paper cut on your privacy!"
- Sasha and Mr. Brown in Meet the Dangerous and the Deadline

"What do you mean it's too late? It ain't midnight – it's 12!"
- Mr. Brown in Meet the Dangerous and the Deadline

"You're here because I needed a triangle player. London's here because I needed some eye candy for the choir. Miss Daisy, you're here because somebody keeps telling you what time rehearsal starts."
- Mr. Brown in Meet the Faithless and the Faithful

"May I present to you the Young sisters."
"Young? Only thing young on them are the pictures in their wallet of their grandkids. They look like a bowl of fruit!"
- Deacon Cleveland and Mr. Brown in Meet the Faithless and the Faithful

"Calling these ladies singers is like calling a Bentley a car."
"Sounds like your Bentleys need a tune-up."
- Deacon Cleveland and Mr. Brown in Meet the Faithless and the Faithful

"With these shoes come great responsibility."
"They should come with a kickstand!"
- London and Cora in Meet the Truth

"Where do you get your shirts? That's sharp."
"I have 'em shipped in from Botswana. They use virgin sheep wool. Yes, they use them sheep that ain't never baaaah-cked it up on nobody."
- Frat boy and Mr. Brown in Meet the Truth

"When I walk in a room and four ladies are laughing, something's wrong. Something's up."
"Well, you should be used to it!"
- Mr. Brown and Edna in Meet the Future

“Ew, there’s something wrong with this bread! It’s brown.”
”That’s because it’s wheat bread.”
”Nobody’s going to trade with me for this! I’m going to have to eat it!”
- Joaquin and Sasha in Meet the Truth

“We’re from Gamma Epsilon Epsilon Kappa. We’re GEEKs!”
”Well, anybody can see that.”
- Frat boys and Mr. Brown in Meet the Truth

sign up for the weekly newsletter

Get the latest show updates from games, videos and other fun Meet the Browns content.
  1. facebook
  2. twitter
  3. getglue
  1. Check-in on GetGlue