Top Ten Excuses for Being Bald

Top Ten Excuses for Being Bald
The lucky follicled ones out there like to make their bald brethren easy targets for belittlement, but now the bare-scalped can retort back with confidence and cool. Here's a list of great excuses to use when someone with flowing locks tries to make light of your hair deficiency.

1. I participated in an ecologicial study that will save the world someday. My hair was but a small price to pay
   
   
2. My shiny dome is like a big skylight over my lush eyebrows.
   
   
3. The carpet didn’t match the drapes, so I took care of it.
   
   
4. I bartered it for world peace. You’re welcome.
   
   
5. It was a colossal hairnet accident. I hope those elementary school kids enjoyed their tater tots.
   
   
6. In my line of work, I can’t risk leaving DNA lying around.
   
   
7. When the stocks fell, my hairline rose.
   
   
8. I’m a goatee away from being able to join a biker gang.
   
   
9. There are freaks walking around with handlebar mustaches and faux-hawks and you’re giving me lip?!
   
   
10. In my culture, baldness is a sign of intelligence and sexual vitality.

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