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may 19


Quotes

Enjoy a good laugh with these hilarious lines from Dumb & Dumber. Did we leave off some of your favorites? Share them with us on our message boards.

"The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her."
"That's a special feeling, Lloyd.
- Loyd and Harry in Dumb & Dumber

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!"
- Harry in Dumb & Dumber

"So you got fired again, eh?"
"Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, ya' know?"
"Yeah, well, I lost my job too."
"Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense."
"No, none taken. You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred."
"Hey, chicks love it. Its the shaggin' wagon."
- Harry and Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber

"OK gang, you know the rules, no humping, no licking, no sniffing hineys."
- Harry in Dumb & Dumber

"Check out the funbags on that hosehound."
"I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti."
- Harry and Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber

"Hi, Lloyd!"
"Hi, Harry!"
"How was your day?"
"Not bad. Fell off a jet way again."
- Harry and Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber

"I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!"
"Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week."
- Harry and Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber

"We got no food, no jobs... our PET'S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!"
- Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber

"Yeah, well, I don't know. These places just don't do it for me."
"What's the matter, Har? Some little filly break your heart?"
"No, it was a girl."
- Harry and Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber

"Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy."
- Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber

"I got worms!"
- Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber

"Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention."
- Harry in Dumb & Dumber

It's ok, I'm a limo driver!"
- Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber

"What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?"
"Well, that's pretty difficult to say."
"Hit me with it! I've come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?"
"Not good."
"You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?"
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million."
"So you're telling me there's a chance."
- Lloyd and Mary in Dumb & Dumber


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