Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear from Santa
Many of us have fond memories of visiting Santa Claus. The rosy-cheeked purveyor of Christmas happiness always seemed to have something nice to say. Here, however, are some things that would've done psychological damage had he whispered them into your ear.
- No, no, don't get up yet.
- I know an elf that looks just like you.
- How about a nice pinecone?
- Want some venison?
- Is that wet spot you or me?
- Got any aspirin? Santa hit the eggnog hard last night.
- Want to wear my beard?
- Ever heard of child labor laws? Yeah, me either until my workshop got shutdown.
- The heat in my car isn't working. Can I sleep on your couch?
- You want new toys, huh? Well, I want a new kidney. Life's tough, kid.
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