Feel like you're getting mixed messages. Let this survival list help you figure out what she really means.

She says:
“I’m not angry.”
She means:
“I am very, very angry.”

She says:
“I’m fat.”
She means
“Tell me cellulite is sexy.”

She says:
“Oh that’s fine, I’ll pay for dinner.”
She means:
“Wow, you really don’t want any action tonight, do you?”

She says:
"I can’t go out that night, I’m washing my hair."
She means:
"I don’t want to go out with you."

She says:
“Oh I don’t want a Valentine’s gift."
She means
"Prove that you love me and get me that diamond heart pendant I've been talking about.”

She says:
“Sure I don’t mind if you watch the game.”
She means:
"I’m going to go shop and run up your credit card while you zone out to the tv. Toodles!”

She says:
"I’ll just have a salad for dinner."
She means
"You order the burger and fries and I’ll have half."

She says:
"Of course I don’t care if you go out without me"
She means:
"I’ll just be sitting here alone, cutting the seat out of all your pants."

She Says:
"I like that, but I like your green shirt better."
She means:
"I hate that and you should burn it."