Here are some of Madea and Family's bitterest bitterisms from Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman!
"'Peace be still.'" That's what he said."
"Well, peace always comes with still..."
[takes out gun]
"'cause I keeps me a piece o' steel."
- Madea to Myrtle
"Every time I try to read the Bible... and Jesus... the one with all the words in red... I open my Bible to that New Testimony and see all that red and I just give up. Jesus was talkin' way too much."
- Madea
"Dol-say and gab-anna, who 'dat is?"
- Madea
"Rip it real good. Rip it."
"Wait a minute. What is this going to solve?"
"Nothing. It's just gonna make you feel better."
- Madea to Helen
"I'll be at church when they get a smoking section."
- Madea
"I've got Viagra."
"Oh yeah? Well I've got mace."
- Myrtleto Joe
"I'm not bitter. I'm mad as hell."
- Helen
"You can get it one of two ways. You can get it from his checking account voluntarily, or his insurance policy. Involuntary manslaughter. Which one is it gon' be?"
- Madea
"You know, I was watching the Animal Planet channel and they say that when a coyote is trapped, it will eat its own foot off to get out of the trap. You want some hot sauce? In your case it wouldn't be a coyote, it would be an elephant. A big old giraffe."
"Say one more thing, Joe."
[click of gun]
"Say one more thing. I don't hear you. You're quiet, can I buy a vowel?"
- Madea to Joe
"I aint scared a no po po. Call da po po hoe... Call da po po hoe."
- Madea