Crashing is fun, but it’s also a sport with a strict code of honor. Study the rules of Wedding Crashing below, then go out and crash like a champion!
Before you go out and conquer the battlefield of bridesmaids, take a quick crash course in the rules of war.
Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own. Rule #2: Never use your real name. Rule #6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms. Rule #11: Sensitive is good. Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something. Rule #13: Bridesmaids are desperate: console them. Rule #14: You're a distant relative of a dead cousin. Rule #17: Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night. Rule #18: You love animals and children. Rule #32: Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse. Rule #42: Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun. (see rule #12) Rule #56: Don't fixate on one woman. ALWAYS have a back-up. Rule #59: If two rival crashers pick the same girl, the crasher with the least seniority will respectfully yield. Rule #60: No "chicken dancing." No exceptions. Rule #65: When your crash partner fails, you fail. No man is an island. Rule #72: Studies have shown that women have a more developed sense of smell. Breath mints: small cost, big yield. Rule #75: Do NOT sing at the reception. Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion. Rule #78: The unmarried female rabbi: is she fair game? Of course she is. Rule #79: The tables furthest from the kitchen always get served first. Rule #90: Of course you dream of one day having children. Rule #94: Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors. Rule #95: Try not to show off on the dance floor. This means you Jeremy. Rule #96: Etiquette isn't old-fashioned, it's sexy. Rule #98: The newspaper Wedding Announcements are your racing form. Choose carefully. Rule #106: Eat plentiful, digest your food. You'll need the energy later.