Check out these hilarious quotes from the movie Wedding Crashers.

"What are you doing? It's a game of touch football, every time I look over you're on your ass again."
- John Beckwith in Wedding Crashers

"What are you going to do for an encore? Walk on water?"
- John Beckwith in Wedding Crashers

"So how's my protégé?"
"Jeremy, believe it or not, is getting married!"
"What? What an idiot! What a loser! Good! Good! More for you and me."
- Chazz Reinhold and John Beckwith in Wedding Crashers

"I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you."
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"Hey Mom! Can we get some meatloaf?"
- Chazz Reinhold in Wedding Crashers

"Do you know what that awareness is, Gloria?"
"What?"
"That we're all one. That separateness is an illusion, and that I'm one with everyone - with the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from 'What's Happening,' the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote 'Catcher in the Rye,' Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovic, Harry Potter, if he existed, the whore on the street corner, your mother. We're all one."
- Jeremy Grey and Gloria Cleary in Wedding Crashers

"I always knew I was never going to be a professional bull fighter, but that's not why I did it."
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"Completely different situation. She was a very family-oriented girl."
"Yeah."
"That was my first Asian!"
- Jeremy Grey and John Beckwith in Wedding Crashers

"Share that with the Dali Lama, jack ass!"
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"You better lock it up."
"No, you lock it up!"
"You lock it up!"
"You lock it up!"
"You lock it up!"
"Lock it up!"
- John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"Please don't take a turn to negative town."
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"Go out there and get some strange ass!"
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions?"
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"I'm sorry I'm not sorry. Okay? I'm not gonna apologize, I'm a cocksman!"
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"I'm gonna go see Dr. Finklestein and I'm gonna tell him we have a whole new bag of issues. We can forget about mom for a while."
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts."
- John Beckwith in Wedding Crashers

"Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac."
- Chazz Reinhold in Wedding Crashers

"I got a stage five. Virgin. Clinger."
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"I almost nunchucked you, you don't even realize!"
- Chaz Reinhold in Wedding Crashers

"Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye."
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"A friend in need is a pest."
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers

"I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?"
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers