"Morning, Gibbles!"
- Milo in Milo Full of Grace

"Seems like just yesterday you were writing gadget reviews for the magazine.
"It was yesterday."
"I know and it seemed like it."
- Tyler and Milo in Milo Full of Grace

"Youíre not great. Youíre stupid. You write stupid. I donít like your hair."
- Milo in Milo Full of Grace

"European football. I don't get it, itís boring and nobody has a weapon."
- PJ in Milo Full of Grace

"When he did that article on manscaping you should have seen his undercarriage. I had to."
"Why?"
"It made sense the way he explained it."
- Gibbs and Milo in Milo Full of Grace

"I canít feel my thoughts."
- Gibbs in Men at Work

"Free coffee is why I have a job. Now I have to go to Starbucks like some animal?!"
- Gibbs in Milo Full of Grace

"No we can't be friends. Want to know why? Because my friends don't screw Pauls."
- Milo in Pilot

"Tonight we go out and take your new single penis for a test drive."
- Gibbs in Pilot

"You need to go out and have a meaningless sexual encounter with a drunken stranger."
- Pilot in Pilot

"We have been together for two and half years. We have got our routine. We start with some kissing, some hand play, some tit time and six and half minutes later we are watching the Daily Show."
- Neal in Pilot

"I can see your balls."
- Neal in Pilot

"Did you or did you not bang my cleaning lady?"
"Yes."
"Yes you did or yes you did not?"
"Yes I did."
"You had sex with my cleaning."
"Yes."
"You slept with my cleaning lady?"
"Yup."
"Why?"
"I don't understand the question?"
- Tyler and Gibbs in Pilot

"Will you be my rebound ass?"
- Milo in Pilot

"That skin color is not found in nature?"
"Sure it is. It's called 'whorange'."
- Milo and Tyler in Pilot

"Bar time clowns! Let's go."
- Gibbs in Devil's Threesome

"Why are you always going to this stuff?"
"Actually, they have a pretty good arrangement. He goes to her wine tastings and poetry readings, and she does things to his penis that he can't do to himself."
- Gibbs and Milo in Devil's Threesome

"Are you even friends with any women?"
"Not to brag but yeah. I have quite a few friends with benefits."
"You do know that 'friends' implies that you actually talk and know things about each other, right?"
"Oh, then I have quite a few strangers with benefits."

- Neal, Tyler and Milo in Devil's Threesome

"Why do women go to bathrooms in groups?
"Usually tickle fights but occasionally we mix in some light scissoring."
"I really want to believe that's true."

- Tyler and Amy in Devil's Threesome

"You owe me?"
"For what?"
"Umm, slavery."
"You said we were even after I gave you my NetFlix password."
- Gibbs and Milo in Devil's Threesome

"You want to have sex with both of us?"
"Yes, it's what the French call a threesome."
- Gibbs and Carrie in Devil's Threesome

"A devil's threesome?"
"Yes. It's a threesome where the Ds outnumber the Vs. If you want we can call it a Berduda Triangle."
- Gibbs and Milo in Devil's Threesome

"You make it sound so sad. I have a menu wheel. Anything can happen."
- Tyler in Toilet of Eden

"Only Bill Joel can consistently cover a three point spread."
- Gibbs in Toilet of Eden

"I'm great with secrets."
"Tell that to gay Jerry."
"Or as we used to call him... Jerry."
- Gibbs, Tyler and Milo in Toilet of Eden

"It's got to feel a little better knowing that you have been with a girl that can get a guy like that."
- Gibbs in Toilet of Eden

"He's ugly on the inside."
"Well, he's handsome on the outside."
- Neal and Receptionist in Toilet of Eden

"Neal, have you ever been in a fight?"
"Does a slap fight with my niece count?"
- Gibbs and Neal in Toilet of Eden

"What did I miss?"
"Judging by that hat, you missed the eighties."
- Neal and Tyler in Heterotextual Male

"Boom"
"What was that?"
"Truth bomb. You just dropped a truth bomb.
- Gibbs and Tyler in Heterotextual Male

"Times have changed."
"Yeah, it's not all Ataris and beepers out there."
- Neal and Tyler in Heterotextual Male

"In the heterotextual world everything is safe if you have a smiley face at the end. They're like conversational condoms."
- Tyler in Heterotextual Male

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