SCHEDULE: May 2013

When Monica and Richard (TOM SELLECK) accidentally meet, they decide to become friends -- with dire consequences.

CHARLTON HESTON (As Himself) finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favor.

Ross is upset when Rachel returns his personal belongings and dates Mark. Monica dates a millionaire.

Joey thinks he's found his true love. Rachel's boss (ALISON LaPLACA) dates Chandler, creating big trouble for Rachel. Monica inherits a dollhouse.

Gibbs' nephew Donald comes in town for a medical school interview at, but a long night of partying throws off his plans. And Milo opts for a fashion change that really amps up his mojo.

Special government agent James West and his co-hort Artemus Gordon, team up to thwart the diabolical Dr Arliss Loveless who is plotting to assassinate the President of the United States with the aid of a huge, walking weapon-transport vehicle called "The Tarantula."

Shane "Footsteps" Falco is a disillusioned football player who believes his dreams have all but dissipated. Once a red-hot All American prospect, Shane now regrets ever believing that the NFL would draft him. However, fate takes a strange twist for Shane when during the 1997 NFL season, a player''s strike leaves the fields (and stadiums) empty, leaving team owners scrambling to fill uniforms as fast as possible. When the Washington Sentinels bring back the contentious and self-retired head coach Jimmy McGinty to seek out players who will play with their hearts rather than their wallets, he picks Shane to lead his mismatched crew of outsiders through the strike. To everyone''s surprise, the ragtag team goes on an unprecedented winning streak as they discover in themselves the ability to hope for more than they ever thought possible...maybe even the playoffs, which has been denied to the Sentinels for seven years.

At the Forest Ridge Mall, head of security Ronnie Barnhardt patrols his jurisdiction with an iron fist, combating skateboarders, shoplifters and the occasional unruly customer while dreaming of the day when he can swap his flashlight for a badge and a gun. His delusions of grandeur are put to the test when the mall is struck by a flasher. Driven to protect and serve the mall and its patrons, Ronnie seizes the opportunity to showcase his underappreciated law enforcement talents on a grand scale, hoping his solution of this crime will earn a coveted spot at the police academy and the heart of his elusive dream girl Brandi, the hot make-up counter clerk who won''t give him the time of day. But his single-minded pursuit of glory launches a turf war with the equally competitive Detective Harrison of the Conway Police, and Ronnie is confronted with the challenge of not only catching the flasher, but getting him before the real cops do.

Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It''s an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels'' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men''s sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship''s helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport''s governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy''s) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.

Two days before his wedding, Doug and his three buddies drive to Vegas for a blow-out night they''ll never forget. But when the three groomsmen wake up the next morning with pounding headaches, they can''t remember a thing. Their posh hotel suite is beyond trashed and the groom is nowhere to be found. With no clue of what happened and little time to spare, the trio must attempt to retrace their bad decisions from the night before in order to figure out where things went wrong and hopefully get Doug back to L.A. in time for his wedding. However, the more they begin to uncover, the more they realize just how much trouble they''re really in.

Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It''s an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels'' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men''s sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship''s helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport''s governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy''s) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.

Phil Weston is an average Joe who''s had to put up all his life with his overly competitive father, Buck. When Phil decides to coach his 10-year-old son''s soccer team, he goes head-to-head for the league championship against Buck, who coaches his own young son on the preeminent team of the league. Old scores come into play as Phil and Buck find themselves going to extreme measures to win the championship trophy.

Out in California's San Fernando Valley, Isabel is trying to reinvent herself. A naïve, good-natured witch, she is determined to disavow her supernatural powers and lead a "normal" life. At the same time--across town--Jack Wyatt, a tall, charming actor is trying to get his career back on track. He sets his sights on an updated version of the beloved 1960's situation comedy "Bewitched," reconceived as a starring vehicle for himself in the role of the mere-mortal Darrin. Fate steps in when Jack accidentally runs into Isabel. He is immediately attracted to her and her nose, which bears an uncanny resemblance to the nose of Elizabeth Montgomery, who played Samantha in the original TV version of "Bewitched." He becomes convinced she could play the witch, Samantha, in his new series. Isabel is also taken with Jack, seeing him as the quintessential mortal man, with whom she can settle down and lead the normal life she so desires. It turns out they're both right--but in ways neither of them ever imagined.

Earl makes some great personal sacrifices to help Randy realize his dream of going to cheerleading camp, and Joy is upset because her son finds Catalina sexier than her.

Phil urges the kids to give Vivian thoughtful Mother's Day gifts.

Will's father (Ben Vereen) comes back into his life.

Deshawn gets in trouble for bullying a kid at school. Miranda and Janine begin fighting over petty things.

Brown sabotages reggie when he plans a romantic dinner for Cora. Meanwhile Joaquin has a crush on Simone.

The Trumps make a lucrative offer for the Banks home, prompting flashbacks.

Will returns to Philadelphia to visit his mom and to settle an old score.

Celebrity fans including Ron Howard, Larry King, Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, Martin Short, Billy Bob Thornton, Jon Voight discuss the series.

Stan spends some quality father-son time with Steve at the local zoo, but things go wrong when Steve slips into a gorilla exhibit. Meanwhile, Roger bets Hayley that he can become a great Country singer and sets out to write the most heartbreaking song of all time.

Stan battles an evil hot tub bent on killing his family.

Chandler thinks Monica wants more from their relationship. Ross fails to impress his new neighbors.

Joey wonders if he is in love with Monica. Phoebe impersonates a police officer.

Two of the friends leave Las Vegas married. Joey and Phoebe have a cross-country adventure.

Monica is bewildered by Rachel's reaction to a change in their living arrangement. Phoebe tries to make Ross confront his feelings for Rachel.

Carrie's surprise birthday party for Arthur is ruined when Doug loses the guest of honor.

Doug buys a new car against Carrie's wishes and regrets it almost immediately.

Jerry, Kramer and Newman investigate their accountant's unexplained sniffle.

George seeks revenge on his ex-boss for not rehiring him.

Jerry lifts weights with his parents' Florida neighbor (Lloyd Bridges).

It's Stewie's first birthday, but Meg is at a party that is really a cult meeting.

Peter is under house arrest after punching a pregnant woman he thought was a man.

Peter, jealous of the new neighbors, foils a bank robbery for attention.

Lois loses $20,000 gambling at the Indian casino.

Brian decides to stand up for his rights when Peter enters him in a dog show.

Lois' aunt dies and leaves her mansion to the Griffins.

Guests: Ken Jeong, Mary Lynn Rajskub, The Black Angels

Michael accidentally runs over Meridith in the parking lot, and his guilt causes him to organize a 5-K run for her. Dwight and Angela have a falling-out after he kills her cat, and Jim and Pam's relationship is discovered.

Guests: Ken Jeong, Mary Lynn Rajskub, The Black Angels

Michael accidentally runs over Meridith in the parking lot, and his guilt causes him to organize a 5-K run for her. Dwight and Angela have a falling-out after he kills her cat, and Jim and Pam's relationship is discovered.

A young woman (Jessica Simpson) becomes the unwitting pawn of two ruthless business executives in their bid to usurp and replace the head of an international conglomerate.

Earl plans a Halloween party for Dodge and Earl Jr, while Catalina's nephew Oscar visits. This poses an opportunity for Randy to become the big brother he always wanted to be.

When a new neighbor moves in next door to Earl and Randy's apartment, Earl is reminded of a scam he and Joy pulled on just that guy by selling him a lemon car, so Earl wants to make up for it. Meanwhile, Joy wants to win a science fair in order to get a necklace.

Will manages the rising singing career of Ashley.

Rising star Ashley becomes a prima donna.

C.J. forgets Janine's three year sober anniversary. Ella gets Deshawn an ugly outfit for school picture day.

After a bad break up, Will and Sasha match make for Renee. Meanwhile Brown is recruited to do a TV testimonial for a body cream which causes him to breakout.

Will and Carlton take Nicky to the mall to see his favorite TV character.

Will's date falls for Carlton; Philip and Hilary teach Ashley to drive.

Ray believes he is having an identity crisis.

Stan attempts to save his family after a hurricane floods Lower Langley--despite Fran's warnings that Stan is a bad decision-maker during a crisis.

After he's appointed Steve's legal guardian, Roger has Principal Lewis fired for letting Steve break the school's rules; Stan and Fran vacation at a waterpark.

Despite Phoebe's admonitions, Ross makes a drastic decision about Rachel. Chandler and Monica bicker over their living arrangements.

Injured Joey must get an acting part in order to qualify for health insurance. Rachel finally learns the truth about her marriage to Ross.

Rachel forces Ross to terminate their marriage. Phoebe's first triplet baby-sitting experience proves stressful. Joey pretends to own a sports car.

The guys and the women prepare for big changes in their living arrangements.

Doug becomes a Big Brother and attempts a 10k run.

With nothing to do during the IPS strike, Doug tries substitute teaching at the school at which his sister, Stephanie (Ricki Lake), works.

A religious ceremony makes Jerry and Elaine apprehensive about being godparents.

Jerry and Elaine mull intimacy but without commitment.

George discovers how to take a nap at work and not get caught.

Penny feels threatened when another sexy woman moves into the apartment building and angered when she senses the guys are being taken advantage of.

A fellow comic book enthusiast's hitting on Penny leads to Leonard, Raj, and Howard going to a bar's Ladies' Night.

Leonard and Raj take Wolowitz to Las Vegas to help him get over his break-up with Leslie (Sara Gilbert). Sheldon, home alone and looking forward to it, locks himself out and has only one other place to stay; Penny's.

Leonard is torn between being honest or self-serving when Stuart asks his advice for an upcoming second date with Penny. Wolowitz realizes there's a crucial error in a toilet he designed for the International Space Station.

The guys' prestigious offer to work over the summer at the North Pole; and Penny's resultant behavior; leaves Leonard unsure if he should go.

Guests: Ed Helms, Alice Eve and Cast of Alcoholics

Guests: Ed Helms, Alice Eve and Cast of Alcoholics

Michael feels threatened when Ryan returns to the Scranton office to share his ideas about the future of Dunder Mifflin. Jim and Pam's relationship is shared with the entire office, while Angela and Dwight's relationship is on the rocks.

Jake Tyler has recently moved to Orlando, Florida with his family to support his younger brother''s shot at a professional tennis career. Jake was a star athlete on the football team at home, but in this new city he is an outsider with a reputation for being a quick tempered brawler. Making an attempt to fit in, at the invitation of a flirtatious classmate, Baja, Jake goes to a party where he is unwittingly pulled into a fight with a bully named Ryan McDonald. While he is defeated and humiliated in the fight, a classmate introduces himself to Jake and tells him about the sport known as Mixed Marshall Arts (MMA). He sees a star in Jake and asks that he meet with his mentor, Jean Roqua. It is immediately apparent to Jake that MMA is not street fighting, but rather an art form he wants to master. Roqua will take Jake under his wing, but it is up to Jake to find the patience, discipline, willingness and reason within him to succeed. For Jake, there is much more at stake than mere victory. His decision will not just settle a score; it will define who he is.

An excited Tina is looking forward to attending a party, but Jennifer has made plans to go on a date. Jennifer expects Tina to cancel her plans and stay home to watch her brother. Tina refuses and becomes very disrespectful to her mother. After a heated argument, Jennifer kicks Tina out of the house. Tina goes to Marcus and Angela's house to spend the night. The next day, Tina gets much needed advice from Miss V., who gives her a lesson about compromise, sacrifice, and respect. Jennifer consults with Angela and Leslie about her issues with Tina. Angela reminds Jennifer of her own rebellious stage, convincing Jennifer to give Tina another chance. In the end, Jennifer and Tina apologize to each other and agree to compromise.

Earl remembers his first wedding anniversary and the events that finally lead to their break up, involving Earl's cousin Blake and an invasion of killer bees.

Murder witness Will enters a witness protection program and life in an Alabama trailer park.

A new sorority pledge plans to teach Will a lesson; guest Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

After C.J. has to lay off firefighters due to budget cuts, Roland has to use his PR skills to avoid altercation. Calvin and Miranda want to move upstairs which causes more tension in the house.

Cora is shocked to see another side of Reggie. Meanwhile Brown refers Derek to the hospital as his assistant but Derek holds back so Brown can keep his job.

Ashley drops out of private school; Hilary tries to broaden her talk show's demographics.

Carlton vies with Will in a dance contest on ``Soul Train''; guest Don Cornelius.

Ray and Debra loan $1,000 to pressed Robert, then are surprised when he uses it to go to Las Vegas.

Stan arranges for Principal Lewis to marry Superintendent Riggs so he can finally be a best man at a wedding; Roger's new shorts attract the interest of Ricky Martin.

Stan uses an avatar of a hot girl to bond with Steve; Roger plots a violent end for frat brothers who stiffed him out of $20 for a limousine ride.

Chandler learns how obsessively neat Monica is when he attempts to do her a favor. Joey desperately tries not to flirt with his sexy new roommate (ELLE MACPHERSON).

The guys explore their femininity. Phoebe causes trouble when she kisses someone at Rachel's work.

Joey finally dates Janine (ELLE MACPHERSON), but she doesn't like his friends. Rachel worries that Phoebe won't appreciate the way she furnishes their apartment

Ross and Chandler bicker over which of them created a raunchy joke. Phoebe antagonizes Monica and Rachel with her candor. Joey reluctantly takes a waiter job at Central Perk.

Doug is lured into a pyramid scheme that requires him to sell water filters.

The IPS strike continues and Carrie arranges a play date for Doug.

George enlists a lip-reader (Marlee Matlin) to learn why his girlfriend dumped him.

Jerry gets upset when a lame comic follows his act; Kramer uses butter.

George realizes his girlfriend's slang may leave out vital information.

Peter invites his religious father to live with the family.

Paranoid about Y2K, Peter herds the family into the basement for protection.

Discovering that Leonard, Raj, and Howard fudged the results of his Arctic research expedition, a disgraced Sheldon heads home to Texas.

Sheldon and Howard wager comic books over a cricket's species. Meanwhile, a less-than-perfect romantic night agonizes Leonard and Penny.

Howard takes Raj along to check out the Goth dating scene. Sheldon uses chocolate as part of a behavior modification experiment on Penny.

Facing a return to India, Raj needs a job desperately enough to consider working for Sheldon. Meanwhile, Howard becomes a third wheel to Leonard and Penny.

Guests: Jesse Eisenberg, J.J. Abrams and 30 Seconds to Mars

The Dunder Mifflin Infinity website is launching and Michael is excited about going to the big launch party in New York while Angela plans a satellite party for the Scranton branch.

Guests: Jesse Eisenberg, J.J. Abrams and 30 Seconds to Mars

Michael heads to New York City thinking he is going to attend a party for the launch of the new Dunder Mifflin Infinity website. He later learns that he has simply been invited to a chat room. Meanwhile, Dwight tries to prove that he is better than a computer by trying to make more sales than the new website.

A retelling of the fairytale "The Frog Prince." On the eve of his marriage to Princess Gwendolyn, Prince John finds himself in a compromising situation with a damsel in distress. As punishment, he and his squire, Rodney, are turned into frogs for all eternity, or until the prince can convince a maiden to kiss him in his form as a frog and then marry him when he reverts to human form. After centuries on the pond, the frogs are accidentally transported to New York's Central Park, where the frog/prince gets his kiss from Margo Stockard, a Broadway diva. In a playful moment, she plants a kiss on the lips of the princely toad and tosses him back in the lake. He and Rodney emerge from the lake in human form, but staying that way won't be easy. In order to break the curse forever, he must find Margo and convince her to marry him before the next full moon.

Engaging the services of streetwise Kate, a hansom cab driver, John and Rodney go in search of Margo. Mistaken for a Shakepearean actor, John is asked to star opposite his salvation, Margo. Meanwhile, Rodney finds his own princess in Margo's spunky wardrobe mistress, Serena. But as the full moon approaches, John discovers that it's Kate who has won his heart. Even with the curse looming, he decides to follow it and accept whatever the fates have in store.

It is Leslie's birthday and she does not want to be reminded about getting older. When Leslie sees a wedding party at Angela's Salon, it prompts genuine desires of wanting to be married and have a family. Leslie is conflicted as the birthday reminds her that she has not done all she had hoped to do in her life.

In this Christmas episode, Earl wants to make up for a scam he did before he found Karma, but he soon finds out that Joy is still running the scam he started.

Will's date fends off another guy with karate; guest Ken Griffey Jr.

Tabloid-reporter Will gets into legal trouble with Jay Leno.

C.J. hires Calvin whose performance leaves a lot to be desired. Curtis bored with retirement, takes on a hobby as a painter.

While Reggie is out of town, Thelma stays at the Brown house. Meanwhile Renee borrows money from Will.

Will thinks Lisa is dating another guy; guest Susan Powter.

Will makes a good impression with Lisa's dad (John Amos).

Ray gives Debra exclusive use of their bathroom.

Francine is disgusted when Stan reestablishes contact with a crush from CIA boot camp; Bullock hires a bounty hunter to capture Roger; Steve wears Hayley's panties after concluding they bring him luck.

When a play about the life of Jesus Christ turns into a brutal battle between Stan and Roger, Stan is excommunicated from the Christian church; Hayley and Jeff adopt an infant son whom Stan believes is the Antichrist.

Rachel tries to help her pampered younger sister, Jill (REESE WITHERSPOON), find independence, but Jill flirting with Ross is not part of the plan. Monica won't admit that she is sick.

Rachel's sister Jill (REESE WITHERSPOON) wants Ross, but not for the reasons he thinks. Chandler astounds the others with his inability to express emotions. Is Phoebe starring in pornography LISA KUDROW plays a dual role.

The friends ponder what might have come to pass if each had taken a different path in life.

In the speculative fantasy, Ross initiates romantic advances with his wife Carol (JANE SIBBETT); Chandler and Monica help each other overcome loneliness; Rachel learns the truth about her husband; and Phoebe sneaks out of the hospital.

Carrie forbids Doug from eating at his favorite Italian restaurant.

After Carrie decides to go back to college, Doug turns to his sister (Ricki Lake) for advice.

Jerry doesn't have the nerve to dump his regular barber.

Jerry takes an interest in a girlfriend's navel; Kramer hires an intern.

Newman nixes Kramer's millennium-party plans; Jerry obsesses about his position on his girlfriend's speed dial.

A therapist tells Brian his carpet-wetting is the result of his repressed feelings for Lois.

The Griffins and their neighbors build a festival float; waitress Meg schemes to get bigger tips.

Sheldon looks forward to squaring off against the the one actor from the Star Trek universe he holds enmity towards; Wil Wheaton; in a fantasy collectable card game tournament. Wolowitz cashes in on an old pact with Leonard to get Penny to set him up with a friend of hers.

Leonard, hoping to fit in with Penny's football-loving friends, gets tutored in the sport by Sheldon. Raj is infuriated when Wolowitz's skirt-chasing leads to the loss of his prized patang.

Tyler's new girlfriend is all too familiar to Milo and Gibbs, so they do their best to hide the truth from him. Neal and Amy do their best to avoid the "anniversary curse," but they can't seem to escape their fate.

Leonard and Penny's first big fight sees Sheldon playing mediator due to childhood trauma that's left him with an inability to be around loud verbal conflicts.

Guests: Vin Diesel, Steve Schirripa, The Mowgli's

Tyler's new girlfriend is all too familiar to Milo and Gibbs, so they do their best to hide the truth from him. Neal and Amy do their best to avoid the "anniversary curse," but they can't seem to escape their fate.

Guests: Vin Diesel, Steve Schirripa, The Mowgli's

Michael feels threatened when Ryan returns to the Scranton office to share his ideas about the future of Dunder Mifflin. Jim and Pam's relationship is shared with the entire office, while Angela and Dwight's relationship is on the rocks.

A naive pop singer attempts to win approval from a producer and a studio that think her unsuitable for their upcoming military-themed movie. To prove them wrong and win the role, she enlists in the Army.

Earl tries to help his old babysitter, whom he got pregnant by poking holes in her condom, by whipping her deadbeat son into shape. However, Randy gets mad at Earl when he recognizes the similarities between the man and himself.

Joy steals Randy's audition for Erik Estrada's reality show "Estrada or Nada", but her public appearance has consequences for Darnell.

Lisa intrudes on Will and Carlton's annual ski trip.

After lying about their plans, Will and Lisa wind up at the same party.

Calvin and Miranda plan Calvin Jr.'s birthday party. Curtis and Ella have trouble with the HOA.

Cora helps an overweight student with low self-esteem. Meanwhile Brown makes an exercise tape with the help of Derek.

Carlton buys a gun after he and Will are robbed.

Will proposes to reluctant Lisa; accident-prone Hilary stalls Will's recovery.

Raymond encounters problems with the young son of a befriended couple.

With Roger's help, Steve dresses up as a superhero to prove his bravery to his father; when Stan discovers that Fran may be pregnant, he hopes the infant will turn out to be the brave child he never had.

Hoping to show Steve the value of hard work, Stan gets Steve a job at a country club; Francine struggles to come up with her own catchphrase.

Chandler gets into trouble with his homemade gift for Monica. Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. Joey hires a look-alike.

When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living temporarily with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble where he teaches.

Ross worries when his student/girlfriend goes on vacation with her wild friends. Meanwhile, Joey's refrigerator breaks down.

In this episode, primarily composed of clips from earlier shows, Joey auditions for a major television role. But Chandler almost ruins everything.

A coin toss decides the destination for Doug and Carrie's vacation; Arthur and Spence join Doug and Carrie on vacation.

Doug and Carrie have flashbacks of their first Thanksgiving together.

Jerry and Elaine suspect Kramer's yogurt shop is causing their weight gain.

Jerry's new girlfriend (Lori Loughlin) encourages him to express his emotions.

Elaine becomes a partner in a muffin business; Jerry shaves his chest.

Death pays Peter a visit when he claims ``deceased'' on insurance forms.

Lois asks Peter to be the producer of ``The King and I.''

Two days before his wedding, Doug and his three buddies drive to Vegas for a blow-out night they''ll never forget. But when the three groomsmen wake up the next morning with pounding headaches, they can''t remember a thing. Their posh hotel suite is beyond trashed and the groom is nowhere to be found. With no clue of what happened and little time to spare, the trio must attempt to retrace their bad decisions from the night before in order to figure out where things went wrong and hopefully get Doug back to L.A. in time for his wedding. However, the more they begin to uncover, the more they realize just how much trouble they''re really in.

Nick and Suzanne stop talking to each other after Suzanne gets upset with Nick for his attempts to fix her problems without listening to her.

Nick wants Lindsey and Kevin to give back to their community, so they select a charity they found online. But when the charity keeps asking for more and more money, Nick has to get to the bottom of it.

Nick and Suzanne try to attend a highly anticipated movie premiere, but when their busy schedules get in the way, both are tempted to secretly go to the movie without the other.

After Nick gets pocket-dialed by Suzanne and overhears her telling Gigi something personal, he gets back at Suzanne by fake pocketing dialing her.

Lindsey has a new crush and Gigi has a new boyfriend, but when certain secrets can't be kept, a web of misinformation nearly ruins both situations.

Maxwell Smart is on a mission to thwart the latest plot for world domination by the evil crime syndicate known as KAOS. When the headquarters of U.S. spy agency Control is attacked and the identities of its agents compromised, the Chief has no choice but to promote his ever-eager analyst Maxwell Smart, who has always dreamt of working in the field alongside stalwart superstar Agent 23. Smart is partnered instead with the lovely-but-lethal veteran Agent 99. Given little field experience and even less time, Smart--armed with nothing but a few spy-tech gadgets and his unbridled enthusiasm--must thwart the doomsday plans of KAOS head Siegfried.

Jeff disagrees when Wayne hires an ex-girlfriend to work at the shop.

The victim of a childhood prank returns for revenge against Wayne; Elliot seeks shelter from his wife's amorous advances.

When Randy loses his winning lottery ticket, he assumes the event to be a message from Karma, so he starts a list of his own. Meanwhile, Joy is not happy with her cover identity of the witness protection program.

C.J. investigates the response time of firefighters while Miranda laments over being unemployed.

Social networking causes turmoil in Will and Sasha's household. Meanwhile Brown tries to find the lost pet of a neighbor to claim the reward.

Although Nick and Suzanne realize that Life Insurance would be a good decision to protect their family, Nick has reservations about buying a policy.

Doug goes with Carrie on her company retreat while Arthur is left to fend for himself at home.

Toula Portokalos' family from the suburbs of Chicago promotes exactly three traditional values - "Marry a Greek boy, have Greek babies, and feed everyone." From an early age, she is mortified by their patriotic 'over-the-top' ways. When she falls in love with Ian, a WASPy non-Greek, Toula struggles to get her family to accept her eager fiance while she herself comes to terms with her heritage, her cultural identity, and their meddlesome ways.

The love life of Charlotte (Jennifer Lopez) is reduced to an endless string of disastrous blind dates, until she meets the perfect man, Kevin. (Michael Vartan) Unfortunately, his merciless mother (Jane Fonda) will do anything to destroy their relationship.

Robert fears his family will ruin his developing relationship with ``the perfect woman.''

Ross is nervous about meeting Paul (BRUCE WILLIS), Elizabeth's (ALEXANDRA HOLDEN) dad, and invites the gang to the coffeehouse for moral support.

Phoebe helps Chandler pick out an engagement ring for Monica.

Monica excitedly reveals her good news to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her. Chandler has trouble making love.

Monica is outraged to find out what her parents did with her wedding fund. Joey discovers Rachel's late-night reading material.

Carrie thinks Doug has lost his romantic side; Arthur is called for jury duty.

Carrie and Doug decide marriage counseling is in order and turn to their neighbor for help, but his techniques only make things worse.

Penny hosts a Halloween party, putting Leonard, Sheldon, Wolowitz, and Koothrappali through a new test of their social skills.

With Wolowitz AWOL with one of her friends, Penny's recruited to fill in for him on the guys' Halo team.

Raj's parents set him up on a blind date, and when he discovers he can talk to her, she shows interest in Sheldon.

When they're invited to present at a physics conference, Sheldon's reluctance to share the credit leads to a tiff between him and Leonard, and Penny's intervention only exacerbates the situation.

Leonard and Sheldon each lie to avoid hearing Penny sing in a production of Rent. However, Sheldon's lie becomes a bit too complicated for its own good.

With his friends knowing how sour he acts when sick; and avoiding him as a result; Sheldon is nursed for by Penny, who hasn't a clue what she's in for.

With Sheldon rattled and impossible to be around after meeting Dennis, a 15-year-old physicist who's smarter than he, the rest of the guys search for a way to eliminate the threat.

Sheldon finds himself booted from the gang's Physics Bowl team and replaced with Leslie (Sara Gilbert), so he forms his own team, hoping to prove he's superior.

Tyler's new girlfriend is all too familiar to Milo and Gibbs, so they do their best to hide the truth from him. Neal and Amy do their best to avoid the "anniversary curse," but they can't seem to escape their fate.

Trying to recover from a sudden break-up, Jen Kornfeldt believes she'll never fall in love again. But when she reluctantly joins her parents on a trip to the French Riviera, Jen happens to meet the man of her dreams, the dashing, handsome Spencer Aimes. Three years later, her seemingly impossible wish has come true: she and Spencer are newlyweds living the ideal suburban life - that is, until the morning after Spencer's 30th birthday when bullets start flying. Literally. It turns out Spencer never bothered to tell Jen he's also an international super-spy, and now Jen's perfect world has been turned upside down. Faced with the fact that her husband is a hit man, Jen is determined to discover what other secrets Spencer might be keeping - all the while trying to dodge bullets, keep up neighborly appearances, manage the in-laws and work out some major trust issues. And you thought suburban life was easy.

Teenager Holly Hamilton is tired of moving every time her single mom Jean has another personal meltdown involving yet another second-rate guy. To distract her mother from her latest bad choice, Holly conceives the perfect plan for the perfect man--an imaginary secret admirer who will romance Jean and boost her shaky self-esteem. When the virtual relationship takes off, Holly finds herself having to produce the suitor, borrowing her friend''s charming and handsome Uncle Ben as the face behind the e-mails, notes and gifts. Holly must resort to increasingly desperate measures to keep the ruse alive and protect her mom''s newfound happiness--almost missing the real perfect man when he does come along.

The Bundys and D'Arcys go on a Caribbean cruise.

The Bundys' and D'Arcy's Caribbean cruise is ruined when the ship sinks.

Monica desperately tries to figure out a secret cookie recipe. Chandler fails to impress Monica's father.

Rachel is in a quandary when a sexy but unqualified man (EDDIE CAHILL) applies to be her assistant. Chandler, Monica and Ross tell embarrassing secrets about one another.

Joey tries to teach Chandler how to smile for the camera. Phoebe and Ross bicker over their divorcing friends.

Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid of honor, but Monica doesn't want to make the decision. Chandler tries to apologize to a girlfriend from his youth.

Tyler's new girlfriend is all too familiar to Milo and Gibbs, so they do their best to hide the truth from him. Neal and Amy do their best to avoid the "anniversary curse," but they can't seem to escape their fate.

Teenager Holly Hamilton is tired of moving every time her single mom Jean has another personal meltdown involving yet another second-rate guy. To distract her mother from her latest bad choice, Holly conceives the perfect plan for the perfect man--an imaginary secret admirer who will romance Jean and boost her shaky self-esteem. When the virtual relationship takes off, Holly finds herself having to produce the suitor, borrowing her friend''s charming and handsome Uncle Ben as the face behind the e-mails, notes and gifts. Holly must resort to increasingly desperate measures to keep the ruse alive and protect her mom''s newfound happiness--almost missing the real perfect man when he does come along.

Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets

Rosalee Futch is a grocery clerk living in rural West Virginia. But even a small-town girl can have big dreams, and Rosalee''s is to someday--somehow--meet her big-screen idol Tad Hamilton. The "somehow" arrives in the form of a contest--the grand prize: a date with Tad Hamilton--and the "someday" is now. Rosalee wins, much to the chagrin of her best friend and co-worker Pete, who is deeply, hopelessly--and secretly--in love with Rosalee. The "Win a Date" contest was cooked up by Tad''s agent, Richard Levy, and his manager, also named Richard Levy, to clean up Tad''s bad-boy image. Someone should have told them to be careful what you wish for. When Tad meets Rosalee and gets a taste of what he''s been missing in the "real world," he decides he wants seconds and moves to West Virginia, turning Rosalee''s dream come true into a nightmare for Richard Levy, Richard Levy and, most of all, Pete.

Trying to recover from a sudden break-up, Jen Kornfeldt believes she'll never fall in love again. But when she reluctantly joins her parents on a trip to the French Riviera, Jen happens to meet the man of her dreams, the dashing, handsome Spencer Aimes. Three years later, her seemingly impossible wish has come true: she and Spencer are newlyweds living the ideal suburban life - that is, until the morning after Spencer's 30th birthday when bullets start flying. Literally. It turns out Spencer never bothered to tell Jen he's also an international super-spy, and now Jen's perfect world has been turned upside down. Faced with the fact that her husband is a hit man, Jen is determined to discover what other secrets Spencer might be keeping - all the while trying to dodge bullets, keep up neighborly appearances, manage the in-laws and work out some major trust issues. And you thought suburban life was easy.

Bruce Nolan is a local Eyewitness News TV reporter in Buffalo, New York, best known for doing human interest stories--which makes everyone happy but him. Bruce would much rather be replacing the soon-to-retire anchorman. Essentially, Bruce is disconnected with everything in his life and rarely misses an opportunity to complain about it. He has a loving girlfriend, Grace, who runs a day care center and adores Bruce in spite of his negativity. Bruce is handed a great opportunity when he's asked to do the 23rd anniversary of Niagra Falls' famed Maid of the Mist boat, which will air live during sweeps. But the mist hits the fan when it's announced on-air--just before Bruce goes live--that the co-anchor position, about to be vacated, is going to Bruce's superficial rival. In front of millions of viewers, Bruce has an on-camera meltdown, punctuated by a four-letter word not yet cleared for network television. On this worst day of Bruce's life, he's fired from the station, beaten up by a gang of toughs, and his car is vandalized. Furious, Bruce rails and rages against the Lord for his rotten luck--which is followed by a curious set of signs, one of which leads him to an old building called Omni Presents, Inc. There, Bruce meets a janitor who reveals himself to be who he really is--God! He's heard Bruce's complaints and now has an offer for the choleric newscaster--his job. By endowing Bruce with all his powers, God challenges him to take on the job and see if he can do any better!

Bruce Nolan is a local Eyewitness News TV reporter in Buffalo, New York, best known for doing human interest stories--which makes everyone happy but him. Bruce would much rather be replacing the soon-to-retire anchorman. Essentially, Bruce is disconnected with everything in his life and rarely misses an opportunity to complain about it. He has a loving girlfriend, Grace, who runs a day care center and adores Bruce in spite of his negativity. Bruce is handed a great opportunity when he's asked to do the 23rd anniversary of Niagra Falls' famed Maid of the Mist boat, which will air live during sweeps. But the mist hits the fan when it's announced on-air--just before Bruce goes live--that the co-anchor position, about to be vacated, is going to Bruce's superficial rival. In front of millions of viewers, Bruce has an on-camera meltdown, punctuated by a four-letter word not yet cleared for network television. On this worst day of Bruce's life, he's fired from the station, beaten up by a gang of toughs, and his car is vandalized. Furious, Bruce rails and rages against the Lord for his rotten luck--which is followed by a curious set of signs, one of which leads him to an old building called Omni Presents, Inc. There, Bruce meets a janitor who reveals himself to be who he really is--God! He's heard Bruce's complaints and now has an offer for the choleric newscaster--his job. By endowing Bruce with all his powers, God challenges him to take on the job and see if he can do any better!

Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets

After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he's made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he's on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.

The Bundys' and D'Arcy's Caribbean cruise is ruined when the ship sinks.

Peggy wins $10,000 playing Bingo. Meanwhile, NO MA'AM chooses their official beer.

A twelve year old boy with a crush on Kelly gets her to go to his junior prom with him.

While Al and his friends tries to find out what a light switch in the Bundy house do, Bud experiences cyber sex... with Amber.

Spencer and Ashley have a friendly competition for Aiden's affection, which gets a little out of hand. Clay and Sean have a night from hell as they are on their way back from the movies. When two dead bodies come into the ER, Paula and Arthur are forced to deal with the harsh realities of living in Los Angeles.

Darnell's father Thomas comes looking for him in Camden only to raise Earl and Randy's suspicions, as it turns out that he is the reason for Darnell being in the Witness Protection Program.

Will and Lisa attend counseling with the Jeffersons (Sherman Hemsley, Isabel Sanford).

To avoid family bickering, Will and Lisa elope; guest Isaac Hayes.

Ella's famous friend comes to visit. Calvin gets supervised visits with Calvin, Jr.

Renee is admitted to the hospital and she's the patient from hell. Meanwhile Derek becomes a role model to Joaquin who begins to emulate him.

Have you ever pressed "Send" on an e-mail and immediately wished you could get it back? Scotty Thomas and his Berlin-based computer pen pal, Mieke, have been writing each other for years, sharing every detail of their lives. When Mieke makes a ''cyber pass'' at Scotty, he completely freaks out, thinking that this guy he''s known for years is coming on to him--in German no less. Too bad the one detail Scotty doesn''t seem to know is that, in Germany, Mieke is a girl''s name. By the time Scotty figures out that Mieke is a girl, and a hot one at that, Mieke has cut off her e-mail account and all contact with him. Thinking that this might be his one chance at true love--even though he''s never actually met the girl--Scotty and his best friends, Cooper and the twins Jenny and Jamie, embark on a raucous trip across Europe headed for Berlin. Their trek takes them from London to Paris to Amsterdam and Eastern Europe, exposing them--literally--to every lascivious, larcenous and lecherous indulgence Europe has to offer, in a comedy that gives new meaning to the phrase "foreign relations."

Joe Dirt is a janitor with a mullet hairdo, acid-washed jeans and a dream to find the parents that he lost at the Grand Canyon when he was a belligerent, trailer park-raised eight-year-old. Now, blasting Van Halen in his jacked-up economy car, the irrepressibly optimistic Joe hits the road alone in search of his folks. As his wandering, misguided search takes him from one comedic adventure to another, Joe finds his way to Los Angeles, where a shock-jock brings Joe on his radio show to insult him. But as Joe''s life story unfolds, jeers turn to cheers, and an entire captivated city tunes in to hear the adventures of Joe Dirt.

Divorce mediators John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey are business partners and lifelong friends who share one truly unique springtime hobby--crashing weddings! Whatever the ethnicity of the wedding party--Jewish, Italian, Irish, Chinese, Hindu--the charismatic and charming duo always have clever back stories for inquisitive guests and inevitably become the hit of every reception, where they strictly adhere to their proven "rules of wedding crashing" to meet and pick up women aroused by the very thought of marriage. At the tail end of another successful season of toasting brides and grooms, Jeremy learns that the daughter of Treasury Secretary William Cleary and his wife, Kathleen, is getting married in what is sure to be the Washington D.C. social event of the year. After infiltrating the lavish affair, John and Jeremy quickly set their sights on two bridesmaids, Claire and Gloria Cleary. With the lavish reception in full swing, Jeremy works his game plan to perfection in seducing Gloria, but John's flirtation banter with Claire is unexpectedly impeded by her pompous, Ivy League boyfriend Sack. Having uncharacteristically fallen hard and fast for Claire, John convinces a resistant Jeremy to bend the crashing rules and accept an invitation to an extended weekend party at the Cleary family compound. Once at the palatial waterfront estate, John and Jeremy endure a multitude of comical mishaps at the hands of the dysfunctional members of the Cleary family, but also learn a few unexpected lessons about love and relationships.

Rachel gets in trouble for dating her assistant (EDDIE CAHILL). Monica tries to become friendlier with her neighbors. Phoebe needs lessons in riding a bike.

Phoebe's former boyfriend returns for one night only, but Joey could ruin their plans. Monica plots revenge on her cousin's wedding day.

Monica falls asleep during sex. Rachel argues with Tag (EDDIE CAHILL). Ross and Joey get stranded on the roof.

Doug tries to impress new driver Jared when he learns he was the only one at IPS not invited to Jared's barbecue.

Arthur accepts a job at Carrie's company; Doug and Deacon compete for a place in their company's calendar of hunks.

Jerry can't get his masseuse girlfriend to give him a massage.

Jerry's parents notice his weight gain and ask Izzy (Lloyd Bridges) to train him.

George plans a vacation; Elaine critiques a co-worker (Molly Shannon); guest Raquel Welch.

Peter finds his feminine side when he is sent to a women's retreat for sensitivity training.

Peter makes Chris pretend he's dying, in order to save a television program.

Peter runs against Lois for a seat on the school board.

Peter is envious of an old friend's success; Chris' painting gets serious attention.

Meg exposes her family on a talk show.

Stewie misbehaves while visiting his grandparents.

Michael throws an extravagant going-away party for Toby, and falls in love with the woman who is replacing him. Jim plans to propose to Pam at the party, but gets out-staged. Back at corporate, Ryan is arrested for fraud.

Michael throws an extravagant going-away party for Toby, and falls in love with the woman who is replacing him. Jim plans to propose to Pam at the party, but gets out-staged. Back at corporate, Ryan is arrested for fraud.

Elle Woods has it all. She''s the president of her sorority, a Hawaiian Tropic girl, Miss June in her campus calendar, and, above all, a natural blonde. She dates the cutest fraternity boy on campus and wants nothing more than to be Mrs. Warner Huntington III. But, there''s just one thing stopping Warner from popping the question: Elle is too blonde. Growing up across the street from Aaron Spelling might mean something in LA, but nothing to Warner''s East-Coast blue blood family. So, when Warner packs up for Harvard Law and reunites with an old sweetheart from prep school, Elle rallies all her resources and gets into Harvard, determined to win him back. But law school is a far cry from the comforts of her poolside and the mall. Elle must wage the battle of her life, for her guy, for herself and for all the blondes who suffer endless indignities everyday.

A twelve year old boy with a crush on Kelly gets her to go to his junior prom with him.

While Al and his friends tries to find out what a light switch in the Bundy house do, Bud experiences cyber sex... with Amber.

Al can't wear shoes because of his phony lawsuit against the mall.

Al and Kelly make a short film about shoes, and they end up getting $10,000 dollars to produce another one.

In an attempt for a spinoff, we follow the lives of DJs Oliver Cole and Mark Campbell at a local radio station at Bud's college. Oliver and Mark risk being expelled for revealing the truth about dean Steve Rhoades' past.

When Al suggests an aerobics studio for the open lot next door, he puts peep holes in the wall, but all of the students are fat.

Earl works on a list item that has to do with Chaz Dalton, his childhood hero. However, Chaz turns out to be somebody else. Meanwhile, Darnell tries to help Joy make friends using the internet and a site called "Buddybook".

Earl works on a list item that deals with a crazy witch lady, but his plan backfires.

Will and Carlton try to bring Phil's new real estate investment up to code.

The lead in a daytime drama (Leanne Hunley) wants Will for her co-star.

Janine becomes a sponsor to a young girl while Ella and Curtis become Deshawn's foster parents.

Brown, Derek and Renee try to get a photo of a celebrity's newborn. Meanwhile Will finds weed and thinks it's Christopher's, who takes the blame to keep Brianna out of trouble.

Carlton hires a hypnotist for Will's bash; Nicky interviews for school.

A new student (Robin Givens) trying to seduce Will befriends Lisa.

The men are afraid to spoil Thanksgiving Day dinner by telling Marie she needs eyeglasses.

Stan joins Wheels and the Legman as they attempt to solve a mystery involving a key; Klaus has his photo taken for a pet Web site.

An old man places a hex on Stan, making him age at an alarming rate; Roger and Francine rehearse for a dance competition...but Roger has something up his sleeve.

Monica and Chandler interview unsuspecting candidates, hoping to find the right man to father their baby.

The gang heads to Barbados for a paleontology convention where Ross is the keynote speaker; David (Hank Azaria) prepares to propose to Phoebe, but ex-boyfriend Mike (Paul Rudd) is not yet out of the picture.

The gang heads to Barbados for a paleontology convention where Ross is the keynote speaker; David (Hank Azaria) prepares to propose to Phoebe, but ex-boyfriend Mike (Paul Rudd) is not yet out of the picture.

In Barbados, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe eavesdrop on their friends' passionate encounters; Monica styles her hair to look like a blowfish; Phoebe and Mike rekindle their romance.

Carrie learns that in the beginning of their relationship Doug lied to her about getting a job at IPS so she would sleep with him.

Doug and Carrie are caught in embarrassing circumstances while looking after Deacon and Kelly's children.

A woman's impending visit excites Jerry, until he learns she's getting married.

Jerry finds ending a friendship harder than ending a romance.

Jerry woos an ex-girlfriend's friend.

With the rest of the gang off on a desert camping trip to view the Leonid meteor shower, Sheldon must play hero after Penny slips in the tub and dislocates her shoulder.

Barry Kripke pranks Sheldon during his spot on NPR, leaving him with a taste for vengeance. Wolowitz, pressured by Bernadette to define their relationship, gets advice from a fantasy version of Katee Sackhoff.

Penny seeks Sheldon's help to better comprehend Leonard's physics work. Wolowitz sees green when Leonard invites Bernadette to watch an experiment.

A Christmas visit from his mother (Christine Baranski) has Leonard discovering she's kept a lot of news from him that she shares with Sheldon and worrying if she'll approve of his romance with Penny.

Leonard is aghast to find out a secret of Penny's: she believes in psychics. Meanwhile, Sheldon tries to assist Koothrappali in picking up a girl at a university party.

Michael goes on a survival adventure into the woodsùwith nothing except the suit on his backùin retaliation for not getting an invite to a similar party from corporate. Back at the office, there is a birthday going on while Jim tries to revolutionize the party.

The Griswold family treks cross country en route to the Wally World amusement park.

Leslie tries to set Jennifer up on a blind date with Jack. Due to the last blind date disaster, Angela and Leslie disguise the date as a simple lunch at Ozzie's Pub. Nevertheless, Jennifer sees right through their plan and decides to totally be rude to Jack. When Jennifer realizes that Jack was unaware of Angela and Leslie's plan, she decides to seek Jack out and apologize. Surprisingly, Jennifer and Jack end up having a wonderful evening together.

In an attempt for a spinoff, we follow the lives of DJs Oliver Cole and Mark Campbell at a local radio station at Bud's college. Oliver and Mark risk being expelled for revealing the truth about dean Steve Rhoades' past.

When Al suggests an aerobics studio for the open lot next door, he puts peep holes in the wall, but all of the students are fat.

Al is excited when Bud decides to move out, but a bit disappointed when Bud moves back in to the basement, and even more horrified when Peg's mother comes to live with them after splitting up with Peg's father.

Buck dies and the family tries to find closure.

Al becomes a priest when NO MA'AM forms its own church to avoid a beer tax.

Earl helps Randy find his first love, Pinky.

Earl tries to help a man he bullied in grade school, but hides his true identity because the man has become a scary bodybuilder.

Phil's fraternity brother, a successful businessman, offers Will an internship.

Will, Carlton and a friend are trapped in a hotel elevator.

C.J. and Janine are uncomfortable with Malik having a female roommate. Meanwhile, Claretha tries alternative cancer treatments.

Cora is upset when Reggie decides to stay in California. Menawhile Brown is the only one brave enough to teach Brianna to drive.

Will has wedding jitters; his mom and Lisa's dad clash.

Will causes a kitchen fire -- just as an important dinner guest arrives.

Debra wonders why Ray does not put the same effort into finding thoughtful gifts for her as he does for Marie.

Stan panics when Barry comes close to toppling his longstanding wrestling record at Steve's schoolùand ends up teaching Roger how to wrestle so he can defeat Barry.

After tricking Roger into going to Iraq, Klaus assumes the role of the Smiths' psychologist, but his emphasis on emotional honesty backfires.

Ross drinks too much alcohol at dinner with Rachel, Joey and Charlie; Frank Jr. (Giovanni Ribisi) cannot cope with his precocious triplets.

Rachel and Joey nervously anticipate their first real date; Monica and Phoebe try to avoid an obnoxious friend (Jennifer Coolidge) with a fake British accent; Ross emerges from a tanning booth with a two-toned appearance.

An X-rated cake is delivered to Emma's first birthday party.

Rachel convinces her sister (Christina Applegate) to baby-sit over Ross' protests; Joey writes a letter to an adoption agency on Monica and Chandler's behalf.

Doug convinces Carrie to take pole dancing lessons but is disappointed when she puts on a show for him.

Doug surprises Carrie with a new camera for Christmas.

Jerry's decision to move sets off a chain of events.

George gives Jerry a bad stock-tip.

Jerry tries to help a dentist friend accused of insurance fraud.

Peter infiltrates Quahog High School as a new student; guest voice Gregg Allman.

A robbery of their apartment sees Leonard and Sheldon call on their friends to devise a security system.

Stuck on the solution to a physics problem, Sheldon seeks a number of alternative approaches to change his thinking and free the mental block; including working with Penny at The Cheesecake Factory.

Leonard faces a dilemma in choosing between Sheldon or Penny to accompany him to Switzerland to see CERN's Large Hadron Collider on Valentine's Day.

An appearance in traffic court comes at the worst possible time for Sheldon; the same day Stan Lee is appearing at the comic book store.

The guys go to a garage sale and find a ring from the "Lord of the Rings" films, and the rare find threatens their friendship.

Michael is put in an awkward position when Jan sues Dunder-Mifflin for wrongful termination and he is deposed as a witness. Meanwhile, Kelly begins smack talking Pam after Darryl beats Jim at ping pong.

Conrad and Sally Walden (Spencer Breslin and Dakota Fanning) are home alone with their pet fish. It is raining outside, and there is nothing to do. Until "The Cat in the Hat" (Mike Myers) walks in the front door. He introduces them to their imagination, and at first it''s all fun and games, until things get out of hand, and The Cat must go, go, go, before their parents get back.

Jennifer discovers that her son, Tommy, is trying on make-up and wearing heels. She is afraid that he may be gay. In an attempt to counteract his behavior, she pleads with Marcus and Joseph to spend some time with Tommy. Angela and Leslie let Jennifer know that regardless of his sexual orientation or interests, Tommy deserves her love.

Buck dies and the family tries to find closure.

Al becomes a priest when NO MA'AM forms its own church to avoid a beer tax.

While researching for her new part of playing a scientist, Kelly discovers the new color bleen. Al finds that bleen grows hair.

Al says he thinks women are weak when Peggy and Marcy begin taking a self defense class. But a news crew labels Al as weak when Peggy punches a man trying to steal Al's wallet.

To join NO MA'AM, Bud must get his picture taken with wrestler King Kong Bundy.

By booking a famous director (Chris Rock), Will becomes Hilary's talent coordinator.

Will overmedicates ailing Hilary before a meeting with a potential sponsor.

Malik gets hazed.

The guys decide to boycott Valentine's day until they realize the girls have something special planned. Meanwhile Brown thinks Renee has a crush on him.

Posing as his cousin, Will handles Carlton's Princeton interview; guest B.B. King.

Dismissed juror (George Wallace) from Phil's big case appears on Hilary's show.

Ally catches her grandfather stealing at the supermarket.

When Steve's new puppy is gravely injured, Stan attempts to save the dog using a doctor who specializes in alternative medicine.

Stan bets Jeff and Hayley that he and Fran can live on minimum wage for one month; Roger and Steve test-drive a Ferrari after Klaus brags about having driven one.

Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker (JASON ALEXANDER). Rachel breaks Joey's favorite chair. Monica's beloved childhood belongings are destroyed.

Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th birthdays.

Joey's character on a daytime drama becomes more prominent to the chagrin of the show's diva star (SUSAN SARANDON). Phoebe and Rachel argue over who should return a sexy man's misplaced cell phone to him.

Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is furious after Rachel teaches Ben (COLE MITCHELL SPROUSE) practical jokes.

The guys' neighborhood restaurant names a new sandwich after Deacon, so Doug determines to get some kind of food named after himself.

Doug and Carrie try to come up with an excuse not to attend a wedding.

A woman (Valerie Mahaffey) wants to know why George doesn't want to see her.

Jerry gets stuck sitting for an unruly dog.

The library asks Jerry about a book overdue since 1971.

Lois enrolls Stewie at a day care center.

Peter talks himself into getting liposuction and other plastic surgery.

Sheldon's fear of speaking in front of large groups threatens his ability to accept an award, so the gang tries to help him get ready for the big night.

Sheldon gets to square off on the bowling alley against nemesis Wil Wheaton. Meanwhile, Leonard's miffed when Penny doesn't respond the way he hoped after saying, "I love you."

Milo and Gibbs have a date-off with a beautiful woman. Tyler and Rachel try to stick together through the hassles of a long-distance relationship. Neal and Amy suffer the consequences of allowing Tyler to use their apartment as a rendezvous location.

Subsequent to Leonard and Penny's break-up, Sheldon tries to hide from Leonard and the gang that he had a friendly spaghetti dinner at Penny's.

Milo and Gibbs have a date-off with a beautiful woman. Tyler and Rachel try to stick together through the hassles of a long-distance relationship. Neal and Amy suffer the consequences of allowing Tyler to use their apartment as a rendezvous location.

Michael invites Jim and Pam and Andy and Angela to a couples-only dinner party, which makes Dwight very jealous. However, the only thing he's missing is a ringside seat to witness Michael and Jan's extremely dysfunctional home life.

Miles Logan is a professional jewel thief who is forced to hide $20 million worth of diamonds in a construction site when a heist goes bad. Logan is sent away to jail for three years. When he finally returns to the site, Logan finds that the area has become the new home of a Los Angeles police department precinct and decides that impersonating a detective may be the only way to retrieve his loot.

Al says he thinks women are weak when Peggy and Marcy begin taking a self defense class. But a news crew labels Al as weak when Peggy punches a man trying to steal Al's wallet.

To join NO MA'AM, Bud must get his picture taken with wrestler King Kong Bundy.

At their high school reunion, Kelly and her best friends compete for the rich nerd whom Kelly teased in high school. Meanwhile, Marcy's bank holds a "Guns for Toys" drive.

IIMarcy tries to do her best to stop it when her bank wants to dedicate a scoreboard at Polk High... to Al.

Al and Bud go hunting with Peggy's dad so that he will get back together with her mother.

Al and Jefferson's fishing lodge is taken away by a famous actress, but Jefferson plots revenge, and a small fortune, when they find out that they unknowingly took a nude picture of the actress. Kelly and Bud try to get Lucky a part in a dog food commercial.

When Dodge wants his real father to appear at his school's career day, Earl sees the opportunity to make up for ruining Dodge's career day once, but in order to do that he needs to find Dodge's real dad, much to Joy's dismay.

Will and Carlton challenge Sandra and Tiffany to a game of strip Scrabble.

Will and Carlton try to halt Ashley's planned intimate evening with her beau (Jaleel White).

Ella becomes director of the Help Center. Meanwhile, Malik considers dropping out.

Colonel meets the son of a man he fought with in the war. Meanwhile Brown sees Dr. Jawfy for a checkup.

Phil takes the boys to Las Vegas for Carlton's 21st birthday; guest Wayne Newton.

Will's New Year's resolution leads him to the gym to get in shape.

Raymond learns that a local sports radio broadcaster dislikes him after Ray offers to be on his show.

Robert proposes to Amy; Ray meets Amy's ultraconservative parents.

When Hayley experiences kidney failure, Stan and Fran travel into the past to find the man who may be Hayley's real father.

Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Ross and Joey compete for the same woman.

Joey overreacts at a daytime drama awards show. Daytime drama actresses McKENZIE WESTMORE and ALISON SWEENEY guest star.

Monica's gorgeous cousin (DENISE RICHARDS) unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross. Rachel and Phoebe hastily plan a surprise bridal party for Monica.

Rachel reveals a titillating secret about her and a former sorority sister (WINONA RYDER). Ross and Chandler compete for wedding tuxedos.

Carrie discovers that Doug's frequent trips to the hair salon are due to his attractive new hairstylist.

Doug learns that taking care of Arthur is not an easy task.

Jerry accepts a gift his parents wanted him to refuse.

Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer lose their car in a mall parking garage.

Jerry tries to help the owner of a deserted neighborhood cafe.

Peter declares his land a country and makes himself president.

Meg writes for the school paper to improve her Ivy League chances.

Ricky Bobby has always dreamed of driving fast--real fast--like his father, Reese Bobby, who left the family to pursue his racing dreams. Early on, Ricky''s mother, Lucy Bobby worried that her boy was also destined to end up as a professional daredevil on wheels. Ricky enters the racing arena as a "jackman" for slovenly driver Terry Cheveaux and accidentally gets his big break behind the wheel when Cheveaux makes an unscheduled pit stop during a race to gorge on a chicken sandwich. Ricky jumps into the car and so begins the ballad of Ricky Bobby. Ricky quickly becomes one of NASCAR''s top stars, supported by his pit boys--the impressively large crew chief Lucius Washington, a trio of lovably moronic but loyal crew members, Herschell, Kyle and Glenn, as well as racing partner and boyhood best friend, Cal Naughton, Jr. They are all part of the Dennit Racing team, headed by wealthy Dennit Senior and his petulant son, Dennit Junior, whose jealousy of Ricky Bobby increases with every victory. In a short time, Ricky Bobby is on top of the world. He has everything a championship NASCAR driver could ever want--a gorgeous wife, Carley, a lakeside mansion, two hell-raising sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, huge sponsor endorsements and a string of victories from Daytona to Darlington. Ricky Bobby''s "win at all costs" approach had made him a natural hero. But after a frightening crash sends Ricky Bobby to the hospital, he loses his nerve and falls on hard times. When his career and his wife are taken over by his friend Cal, Ricky Bobby turns his back on racing and takes his sons back to his small hometown to live with his mother. But Ricky just isn''t cut for the slow life away from the race track and soon hits rock bottom. His mother reluctantly turns to the only person she can think of to help her son--his estranged father Reese Bobby. Ricky Bobby will do anything to find a way back to the top, no matter how many speed bumps life throws his way.

When Nick gets a doctors report that he has high blood pressure, Suzanne does everything she can to make sure his stress levels stay low.

Nick helps out Willie Mays, a homeless man with a beautiful voice, by getting him a job at KAWT, but Willie takes advantage of his new job.

Nick helps out a coworker by ghostwriting him love letters for a woman on a dating website who turns out to be Gigi.

Nick's identity is usurped by another man named Nick Kingston-Persons. Guest starring Ice Cube.

When Nick lands on a porn website due to a spelling error, a co-worker takes it the wrong way, forcing KAWT employees to undergo sensitivity training.

Mays Gilliam, a Washington D.C. neighborhood Alderman, is about to be red-lined out of his job. But after the untimely death of the party frontrunner, Gilliam is plucked from obscurity, and thrust into the limelight as his party''s nominee--for President of the United States. The players in Gilliam''s life include: Mitch Gilliam, his unsophisticated older brother who becomes his running mate; Kim, his ex-girlfriend who had once dumped him, but who now has a sudden change of heart as she sees a chance at becoming First Lady; Martin Geller, his campaign manager; Lisa Clark, the woman who truly believes in Gilliam; and Debra Lassiter, the woman who doesn''t have faith in his candidacy, and is serving as his reluctant advisor.

A single father, Monty, is a garage mechanic who lives in a poor neighborhood and struggles to make ends meet as he raises his three young daughters on his own. But when the courts award custody of his daughters to his corrupt, drug-dealing ex-wife, Monty desperately tries to win them back, enlisting the help of Julia, a beautiful--and hard-nosed--attorney he meets during his short stint as a chauffeur. While Monty and the Ivy-League-educated Julia couldn't be less alike, an unexpected romance blossoms--and it soon begins to feel like true love. But in order for their relationship to survive, the couple must reconcile their two very different worlds--and overcome the forces that threaten to tear Monty's family apart.

Jeff and Wayne team up to give Matt an important family rite of passage.

Al's friends get addicted to calling a woman named Butter at a 1-900 phone sex line, but Al finds out that the woman is Peg's mother.

An epiphany prompts a small-time crook to right the wrongs he has done in his life, beginning with a grade-schooler (Gregg Binkley) he teased.

Earl decides that one way he can balance the karmic scales is by quitting smoking, but this proves to be more difficult than he imagined.

Curtis becomes a contestant on "Paynefully Fit," while Deshawn gets advice about girls.

A cut on the school budget forces Gordon to have to lay off Brown or Cora. Meanwhile Sasha regifts to Renee.

When Nick inadvertently insults Harold Bradley (a KAWT employee who has been around forever) on-air, he is forced to do damage control. Guest starring: Dick Cavett, Robin Givens

Out in California's San Fernando Valley, Isabel is trying to reinvent herself. A naïve, good-natured witch, she is determined to disavow her supernatural powers and lead a "normal" life. At the same time--across town--Jack Wyatt, a tall, charming actor is trying to get his career back on track. He sets his sights on an updated version of the beloved 1960's situation comedy "Bewitched," reconceived as a starring vehicle for himself in the role of the mere-mortal Darrin. Fate steps in when Jack accidentally runs into Isabel. He is immediately attracted to her and her nose, which bears an uncanny resemblance to the nose of Elizabeth Montgomery, who played Samantha in the original TV version of "Bewitched." He becomes convinced she could play the witch, Samantha, in his new series. Isabel is also taken with Jack, seeing him as the quintessential mortal man, with whom she can settle down and lead the normal life she so desires. It turns out they're both right--but in ways neither of them ever imagined.

Ricky Bobby has always dreamed of driving fast--real fast--like his father, Reese Bobby, who left the family to pursue his racing dreams. Early on, Ricky''s mother, Lucy Bobby worried that her boy was also destined to end up as a professional daredevil on wheels. Ricky enters the racing arena as a "jackman" for slovenly driver Terry Cheveaux and accidentally gets his big break behind the wheel when Cheveaux makes an unscheduled pit stop during a race to gorge on a chicken sandwich. Ricky jumps into the car and so begins the ballad of Ricky Bobby. Ricky quickly becomes one of NASCAR''s top stars, supported by his pit boys--the impressively large crew chief Lucius Washington, a trio of lovably moronic but loyal crew members, Herschell, Kyle and Glenn, as well as racing partner and boyhood best friend, Cal Naughton, Jr. They are all part of the Dennit Racing team, headed by wealthy Dennit Senior and his petulant son, Dennit Junior, whose jealousy of Ricky Bobby increases with every victory. In a short time, Ricky Bobby is on top of the world. He has everything a championship NASCAR driver could ever want--a gorgeous wife, Carley, a lakeside mansion, two hell-raising sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, huge sponsor endorsements and a string of victories from Daytona to Darlington. Ricky Bobby''s "win at all costs" approach had made him a natural hero. But after a frightening crash sends Ricky Bobby to the hospital, he loses his nerve and falls on hard times. When his career and his wife are taken over by his friend Cal, Ricky Bobby turns his back on racing and takes his sons back to his small hometown to live with his mother. But Ricky just isn''t cut for the slow life away from the race track and soon hits rock bottom. His mother reluctantly turns to the only person she can think of to help her son--his estranged father Reese Bobby. Ricky Bobby will do anything to find a way back to the top, no matter how many speed bumps life throws his way.

Debra convinces Ray to take his turn at disciplining the twins.

Ray relishes his volunteer work at the hospital because patients treat him like a celebrity.

As Monica and Chandler prepare their wedding vows, they and their friends reminisce. The episode features numerous clips from previous shows.

Chandler confronts his estranged cross-dressing father (KATHLEEN TURNER). Rachel gets into trouble driving Monica's Porsche. ALEXIS ARQUETTE guest stars.

On the eve of the wedding, Ross searches for missing Chandler, who has doubts, while the girls distract unsuspecting Monica.

Monica remains blissfully unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day. ELLIOTT GOULD, CHRISTINA PICKLES, MORGAN FAIRCHILD, GARY OLDMAN and KATHLEEN TURNER guest star.

Doug and Carrie's romantic getaway is a nightmare when the owners of the bed-and-breakfast become too much to take.

When Doug is not allowed to hold Danny's girlfriend's baby, Doug tries to convince Carrie to have a child so he can get back at Danny.

Doug lets the attention go to his head when he starts getting fan mail from someone who saw his performance at a karaoke club.

Doug and Carrie are confused when Deacon and Kelly are not interested in buying the house next door to theirs.

Leonard asks a work colleague (Sara Gilbert) out after he finds out that Penny is seeing someone.

Sheldon's getting fired forces him to explore what life has to offer outside physics, leaving Leonard to take drastic action to snap his friend out of his funk.

Fearing he's wasting his time on Penny, Leonard ends up making a connection with Leslie. (Sara Gilbert) Meanwhile, Sheldon frets over a change to his hamburger routine.

Sheldon, and his friends, are mystified when a younger undergraduate student is attracted to him.

When Sheldon bans Penny from the apartment for numerous minor infractions, she decides to retaliate. Howard and Raj search for the America's Next Top Model house.

Sheldon wants to use an alternate version of rock-paper-scissors to help resolve conflicts. A girl (Sara Rue) Wolowitz has a major crush on falls for Leonard.

Milo and Gibbs have a date-off with a beautiful woman. Tyler and Rachel try to stick together through the hassles of a long-distance relationship. Neal and Amy suffer the consequences of allowing Tyler to use their apartment as a rendezvous location.

A long time ago, Carter Chambers'' philosophy professor suggested that his students compose a "bucket list," a collection of all the things they wanted to do, see and experience in life before they kicked the bucket. But while Carter was trying to define his private dreams and plans, reality intruded. Marriage, children, myriad responsibilities and, ultimately, a 46-year job as an auto mechanic turned his concept of a bucket list into little more than a bittersweet memory of lost opportunities and a mental exercise he occasionally thought about to pass the time. Meanwhile, corporate billionaire Edward Cole never saw a list without a bottom line. He was always too busy making money and building an empire to think about what his deeper needs might be beyond the next big acquisition or cup of gourmet coffee. Then life delivered an urgent and unexpected wake-up call to both of them. Carter and Edward found themselves sharing a hospital room with plenty of time to think about what might happen next--and about how much of that was in their hands. For all their apparent differences, they discovered they had two very important things in common: an unrealized need to come to terms with who they were and the choices they''d made, and a pressing desire to spend the time they had left doing everything they ever wanted to do. So, against doctor''s orders and all good sense, these two virtual strangers check themselves out of the hospital and hit the road together for the adventure of a lifetime--from the Taj Mahal to the Serengeti, the finest restaurants to the seediest tattoo parlors, the cockpit of vintage race cars to the open door of a prop plane--with just a sheet of paper and their passion for life to guide them. Adding and crossing items off their list while taking in the grandeur and beauty of the world, they grapple with the difficult questions and the even more difficult answers that plague all of us. And, without even realizing it, become true friends.

Out in California's San Fernando Valley, Isabel is trying to reinvent herself. A naïve, good-natured witch, she is determined to disavow her supernatural powers and lead a "normal" life. At the same time--across town--Jack Wyatt, a tall, charming actor is trying to get his career back on track. He sets his sights on an updated version of the beloved 1960's situation comedy "Bewitched," reconceived as a starring vehicle for himself in the role of the mere-mortal Darrin. Fate steps in when Jack accidentally runs into Isabel. He is immediately attracted to her and her nose, which bears an uncanny resemblance to the nose of Elizabeth Montgomery, who played Samantha in the original TV version of "Bewitched." He becomes convinced she could play the witch, Samantha, in his new series. Isabel is also taken with Jack, seeing him as the quintessential mortal man, with whom she can settle down and lead the normal life she so desires. It turns out they're both right--but in ways neither of them ever imagined.